The art of potty training...

[HJ-Pinnelipe]

I have an almost 4 year old sister that outright says she does not yet want to be potty trained. Since I babysit so often, I like to teach her a few values like how to stop crying for help in video games and to sleep in her own bed and not mommy's. She is a bit overly spoiled..but so was I. Anyhow, does anyone have any suggestions on what can be done to help her stop needing the pull-ups?

Things tried:
Sticker rewards
Making it uncomfortable to be potty trained
Telling her the reasons to be potty trained(she even had to miss her recital for ballet because of it and she has actually enjoyed dance)

She's a smart girl and I think that's the problem. I know I refused to learn anything new when I was little until someone gave me a reason to. Problem is, it's getting hard to find mroe reasons to give her and it's starting to get a little late.

 

[Dyngo]

At 4 years old she would know that pee in her pants is boring, and not very nice. So I would probably dress her without pull ups, and be prepared with extra pants. And after a few "accidents" she would probably ask for the "potty" (or toilet), as wet pants is not something she wants.

And make her cry herself back into her pull ups is not an option..

...my 5 cents

(edit: It will probably take one or two month of struggle.. patience is a virtue)

 

[Sherri_CinVin]

I agree with Dyngo on making her wear regular underwear and not pull-ups, after all they don't let them feel uncomfortable enough to stop using them.
I also would make her wash out her own panties if she makes a mess, maybe then she would use the toilet.
Most pre-kindergartens won't let them go to school wearing diapers and at 4 they can go school at least here they can.
Both my Children were fully potty trained with no accidents before they were 2, and neither one wet their beds either.
Patience really helps but making them feel like big people really helps too

 

[Dyngo]

take it slowly.
Begin with short periods without pull ups.. like at home playing.
Then start slowly with visits outside... maybe with short visits to the playground or similar. Eventually it should go perfectly fine the entire day.
When all above works, I would try night time.

Hard to tell exactly as all kids differs. And to make it stressful for the kid could end up wrong...

 

[HJ-Navarre]

I was very skeptical, but my wife heard about something called: The Potty Party.
This worked perfectly and she was able to train our then 2 year old in a single day. No accidents.. no regression.. no problems.
We will be doing the same for our second child, when the time comes.

 

[HJ-Pinnelipe]

The "making it uncomfortable" involved many consecutive in underwear and plastic underwear covering things. Didn't work, but she ended up having extremely painful looking rashes all over the area. We don't put her back in because of crying, but because things just start getting too bad and sitting down is really painful. I know she's smart enough to know she should be. We always tell her she needs to be and she just sighs at us and tells us she doesn't want to.

The potty party seems interesting.. It's not something I think I could pull off alone though and will take sme talking into to get my mother to try it. Thanks, Nav.

 

[Dyngo]

plastic underwear

 

[Kuzzle]

The "making it uncomfortable" involved many consecutive in underwear and plastic underwear covering things. Didn't work, but she ended up having extremely painful looking rashes all over the area. We don't put her back in because of crying, but because things just start getting too bad and sitting down is really painful. I know she's smart enough to know she should be. We always tell her she needs to be and she just sighs at us and tells us she doesn't want to.

The potty party seems interesting.. It's not something I think I could pull off alone though and will take sme talking into to get my mother to try it. Thanks, Nav.

Ow, that's messed up.

About all you people with kids that were potty trained at 2: They were lucky. I wet my bed until I was like 6. 2 She might just be unable to hold it, and too stubborn to say so. *shrug* Might be worth at least asking. 'Specially if you deny her pull-ups, and she still wets her pants.

About the "smart people refusing to learn new things" bit... I think you're problem was just that you were crazy stubborn and a pain in the neck, Pin. Hehe, just joking. Seriously, though, I never didn't want to learn something just because I didn't have a reason to do so. I didn't want to learn a few things because of the people practicing them, but that's different.

 

[HJ-Diviana]

Hm, apparently I changed my own diapers when I was two, because my mom had just had my sister and I was too impatient to wait for her.

I'm not sure quite if I believe her or not, but just maybe I really did.

 

[Kuzzle]

Hm, apparently I changed my own diapers when I was two, because my mom had just had my sister and I was too impatient to wait for her.

I'm not sure quite if I believe her or not, but just maybe I really did.

Well, I know my older(A year and a half) brother would take his off and run bare-ass naked through the house. That came back to bite him in the butt(Er, not quite), though. Ya see, he didn't like sharing his toys. Well, one day he ran up to take my toy away, and I, well... Grabbed him. Ya know how babies have sharp fingernails and thin skin? Well, apparently I grabbed hold of his "down there", and we were both screaming, and my mom came in, and there was blood, and it was chaos. Supposedly, he still has scars... :| Don't take my toys.

 

[Ainilome]

Try finding out what her reason is, most kids that age want to be 'grown-up'. I know the "big boys don't..." line was the best way to get my little brother to do anything when he was that little. Well, that and pretending he was a Power Ranger and I was the big floating head dude giving him a mission but that's probably not going to work.

It might be something other than 'I don't want to'. The attention maybe? A fear of growning up? Can certainly kick in that early, especially if there happen to be another baby in the house... (which I think I remember you mentioning a littler one but I'm not sure). I use to baby sit my cousins a LOT (28 first cousins here, woo). One of them, when she was 5 suddenly started sucking her thumb, speaking baby-talk and wetting her pants when she had a little sister come along. Turned out, she didn't want to stop being the baby. After being reassured and some talking, she stopped. She might be scared of something, and think that refusing to be potty trained with keep it from happening. Kids are funny creatures.

If she's outright refusing and concious of it, I'd probably go the shame route personally. It would have worked for me, few times of peeing my pants in the supermarket would have terrified it right out of my shy self-concious little head. But every kid is different

 

[HJ-Pinnelipe]

We've done the shame, saying big girls don't do it... She positively does know she shouldn't be doing it. She is the youngest one in the house. The one that was always watching me play. I've gotten her to eat all her food by telling her that Sly Cooper got to be a good thief by eating all his food.. Using her love of Dora didn't work for the potty, though.

 

[Sherri_CinVin]

Since your not getting any help off a form, as you have tried most of the things suggested here, maybe you should take her to see a doctor and get to the root of why she doesn't want to be in big girl panties.
Professionals in this area would be your best bet for getting help.

 

[Dyngo]

Professionals in this area would (or should) be parents...
It's not really rocket science (if no physical or mental handicap is involved).

Sorry if I trivialise this matter, but you said she was "spoiled", and if that's the case it's nothing wrong with your sister (yet), but rather her parents.

If you can talk to her (witch is normal at the age of four) she seems to understand what's this is all about. And to me it sounds more like a habit, just like using a pacifier. And habits can be changed, as we all know, even though it's not always easy or fun.

(I base this of the little info I can read here now, its probably more complex then it seem, I guess)

 

[Kuzzle]

We've done the shame, saying big girls don't do it... She positively does know she shouldn't be doing it. She is the youngest one in the house. The one that was always watching me play. I've gotten her to eat all her food by telling her that Sly Cooper got to be a good thief by eating all his food.. Using her love of Dora didn't work for the potty, though.

As I've said, if she knows she shouldn't be doing it, and the shame thing doesn't work, it's possible that she can't not do it. I would say that I agree with Sherri. You might find out there's a physical reason for the "behavior". I put that in quotes because if she can't not do it, calling it a behavior is akin(Damn you, Luciro! ) to calling a paraplegic person's inability to walk a "behavior".