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I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true.
another...Blank "Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?"
-- Solomon Short
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like your thumb.
'Tis far far better to be thought a fool than to shoot yourself in the foot while it's still in your mouth.
A man's home is his hassle.
Only the young die good.
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
Always give a person as much rope as possible. This is so when you do pull the lever, he swings real good.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
There's no such thing as a long and happy life. A long life means saying goodbye to old friends one after the other.Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
We all suffer from an incurable disease. It's called entropy. Some of us have a worse case of it than others.
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
The best therapy for being stir crazy is to stir.
Anything that embarrasses a cat or makes it act silly is a good thing in my opinion. We should take pictures. Then, the next time the cat gets snotty, you show him the pictures....
Sometimes it makes no difference that you're bigger than the cat.
There are probably just as many dog people as cat people, but dog people don't insist on talking about their dogs all the time. Cat owners, of course, operate under the delusion that their cats are sending them secret telepathic commands, have no choice but to talk about cats to the point of oblivion.
Dogs sit under the desk and mind their own business. Cats sit on the keyboard.
Cats aren't just snobs, they're Republicans. Dogs of course, are Democrats. They'll lick anyone's butt.
All children have good hearts. Until someone beats it out of them.
The difference between contribution and commitment? Ham and eggs requires a CONTRIBUTION from the chicken, but a COMMITMENT from the pig.
The computer may not always be right, but it's always the computer.
Real courage is changing a diaper.
A work of art is an act of love. Critics are crab lice.
The difference between luck and ability is duration.
The difference between a dog and a human being is that when a dog is unconscious, he lies down.
Remember, the lesser of two evils is still evil.
Every candy jar needs a few sourballs to make the rest look sweeter.
The Constitution only guarantees you the right to say what you think. It does not guarantee you an audience.
History is gossip with added significance.
History is someone's story about what happened.
Spaceships. And poetry. Any species that can create both spaceships and poetry is worth saving.
Humor comes in many flavors. Some of the most popular are banana skin, salty, cream pie, and trout. But some folks prefer a dry wit with a twist of lime.
When you get to the edges of knowledge, be careful where you step -- that's where the manure is deepest.
You are what you read. Even more so, you are what you write.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Most people confuse justice with spreading the pain around evenly.
Liberty is about protecting the right of others to disagree with you.
Life is not about being comfortable. You want comfort? Try a grave. Nobody ever complained that his grave was uncomfortable.
Lack of respect has to be earned.
Maturity is the polite word for exhaustion.
The difference between men and women is that men know the difference between sex and commitment, and women know the difference between sex and love.
People get more outraged about money than they do about sex. That's because more people have money than sex.
Have all the opinions you want. They're free. Just don't confuse them with reality.
An opinion is what you have when you don't have any facts. When you have the facts, you don't need an opinion.
All problems are people problems. And most people problems are people refusing to act like people.
A quote is what you use when you don't have anything of your own to say.
Reality is all that stuff that doesn't care if you believe in it or not.
You can't win. You can't break even. And you can't get out of the game. And you don't get to riffle through the deck afterward to see how you should have played the hand.
Rumor has it that rumors are just rumors.
Stupidity is not necessarily punishable by violence. Although, there are days when I wish it were.
Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some people abuse the privilege.
A success rate of 30% is failure.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
No one ever survives adolescence. Not even teenagers. The best you can hope for is scars that don't show.
The enforcement mechanism for the rules of war is usually more war.
Knowledge is raw data. Wisdom is knowing how to use it.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wisdom is the result of many many many mistakes. I am a very very wise man.
No, poverty doesn't get me out of bed. Boredom does.
I've worked for my share of idiots too. The worst time was when I was self-employed....
When you let the tiger out of the cage, don't expect gratitude from the tiger.
Don't push the on-button if you don't know where the off-button is.
If a cat sits down on a hot stove, that's knowledge; it will never sit down on a hot stove again. But if it never sits down on a cold one either, that's belief.
In the 70's, somebody invited Solomon Short to a science fiction convention. Short was a big hit with the audience, and with the panelists. He was charming, erudite, and totally spontaneous.It is precisely the word "can't" that inspires me to believe that something is inevitable.
I hope you enjoyed this as much as they did!David Gerrold