my turn
so I guess I'm gonna update now, hopefully that's okay
-Chapter 18-
First thing in the morning Michael called down to the front desk and told them that he would be staying a few more nights. This thing with Sydney wouldn’t be easy, but he was prepared to spend all the time she needed. He wanted to be a part of his children’s lives, of Sydney’s life again.
He would have to push aside his anger at Sydney for keeping him from… he didn’t even know their names. He was a horrible father. But it wasn’t his fault, he hadn’t even known they existed. He fought with himself until he was thoroughly confused.
He got dressed and decided to go get some groceries since he would be staying there for a few more nights. He grabbed his keys off the small table and got into his car.
***
“Mommy?” Danielle stood with her doll in front of Sydney, looking questioning upwards.
“Yes sweetie?” Sydney asked softly.
“You go?” She stuck out her lip and Sydney saw tears in her eyes.
“Danielle.” Sydney kneeled down to her daughter’s height. “I’ll be right back. You don’t want to go to the grocery store do you?”
“No…” Danielle looked satisfied with her mother’s answer and ran off to play with Abby in the living room.
“Kate, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Sydney called to Kate, who was playing with Abby and Danielle on the sofa.
“’Kay” She responded without looking up.
***
Michael drove slowly through Covington, looking for a supermarket. Finally he spotted one and pulled into their driveway. After grabbing a cart from the rack outside, he entered the store.
‘Hmm… what to buy first…’ He asked himself as he walked down the first aisle. First he grabbed some chips and pretzels and then moved on to the next aisle. There he grabbed some frozen meals, figuring he would eat out at least once while he was there.
Michael walked down the fifth aisle, not looking where he was going and focusing on all the cereals he could choose from. And of course, he bumped right into somebody.
“Oh, sorry.” Michael apologized as he turned to look who he hit and couldn’t believe to see Sydney with a basket of food in her hand standing in front of him.
To say he was surprised to see her would be an understatement. Sure this town wasn’t huge but how were the odds to run into her at the supermarket? Somehow Michael wished they hadn’t run into each other because this wasn’t how he had thought of meeting Sydney after two years again. And he had wanted to have more time to think about what to say to her.
“M… Michael.” Sydney looked like a deer caught in the headlights and the color drained from her face.
“At least you still remember my name.” He muttered sarcastically and at the same time he knew he should be nicer. Especially if he wanted a chance to really talk to her.
“Wh… What are you doing here?” She asked defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. All the time she had thought she would never see Michael again, which had been her intention moving to Covington, and now here he was, standing right in front of her. What was she going to say now?
“I could ask you the same thing.” Michael coldly replied, turning back to look at the cereal. Why was it so hard being nice? He felt betrayed because of the time he had missed with his daughters but at the same time seeing Sydney standing so pale and scared in front of him broke his heart. And he knew he had been the reason for this in the first place, so who was he to be angry at her?
“I… I live here now.” Sydney stuttered. The next moment she remembered the basket in her hand and hid it behind her quickly, hoping he wouldn’t see the other small foods in it.
“You don’t need to hide it.” Michael said softly.
“What?” Sydney asked irritated. Did he know? No, he couldn’t. As he pointed at her basket, she felt as if she was going to get sick.
“I know.” Michael confirmed her fears. Though she had wanted to tell Michael so often about his children but had been always afraid of his reaction, afraid of what he would say. “I saw you and the kids yesterday.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.” Sydney looked away and felt her eyes filling with tears. Two years and the pain was still there. She couldn’t tell him and she still felt not able to let him into her life again. The wounds he had caused hadn’t healed, she had just pushed them away and seeing him now was bringing everything back. “I gotta go.”
“Sydney wait.” Michael grabbed her wrist to stop her from running.
“Let me go.” Sydney pleaded, her voice shaken by the emotions she was feeling.
“Let us talk, let me explain. Please give me that chance to make it right. And give me the chance to get to now my children, cause they are mine, right?” Michael looked at her, almost begging for it.
They stood there for a moment until Sydney couldn’t take it anymore and told him the truth.
“They are yours.” Sydney answered so quietly that it was almost not hearable, “I gotta go now.”
“Sydney.” Michael called again, “I wanna see them and I wanna talk to you.”
“And then what? Sure, it’s been two years but it still hurts. I didn’t want you in my life then, and I’m not sure I want it now.” Sydney answered and though she felt sorry for him too, she couldn’t help but be angry.
“They’re my children too.” Michael reminded her but he knew that probably wouldn’t help him.
“Who said that? Michael, you weren’t there. They don’t even know you. Your not their father.” Right now Sydney hated herself. She had they feeling that if she agreed Michael would get his hopes up that they would maybe have another chance. For her that wasn’t a possibility, she had lost all his trust in him and she had hoped every day her love for him would be gone too.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Come on, what do you have to loose?” Michael asked.
‘My heart?’ Sydney thought. She was too afraid to let him into her life again. All she was hoping for was him going back and leaving her life forever. Though she knew that wasn’t likely to be happening.
“I can’t do that.” Sydney shook her head sadly and then turned, leaving the store as fast as possible without buying what she had came from. She would send Kate to get it later.
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