Chapter 17
Sydney had to admit that she was not entirely surprised by Michael’s answer to her inquiring as to what he wanted for Christmas. She suspected that the truthful answer would have been a home for Grace and himself. However, she could not have been further from the truth and she found that out the following day when he came to her asking to speak in private. Little did she know that Michael had been up all night thinking about what he really wanted, the only thing he had ever wanted since he and Grace became homeless. While a home for the two of them was definitely on that list there was something more important that he needed for the time being.
Just after dinner, Michael pulled Sydney aside into her office, requesting that he have a moment of her time to talk. Unsurprisingly she looked confused, and asked what he wanted. It was then he began saying the difficult words he knew he had to get out no matter how much he wanted to keep them inside.
“Ever since Grace and I lost our apartment I’ve been afraid of one thing and only one thing. Yes, living on the streets and not knowing where we were going to sleep was scary. Trying to sleep in a room full of people I didn’t know who could have hurt Grace was scary as well, but nothing was as terrifying as the thought of someone finding out – of the authorities finding out.
“I know what will happen if they do,” Michael continued. “The state will take her away from me because I can’t care for her properly and provide a home for us to stay in. To them, I’m an unfit father and, if they find out, Grace will bet put in foster care until I can find us a place to live…if I can…and even if I can they’ll always be watching us. I thought this situation would be temporary, but obviously its not…”
He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly as he looked up to Sydney, who was looking more intrigued than ever. “You of all people I believe will appreciate how hard it is for me to say this but… but I need someone to take Grace. I went to the library; I looked it up. I need to give someone temporary custody of her – she needs a guardian who can give her a roof over her head and a warm meal on the table every night. I know this still involves giving her up for the time being, but at least its on my terms and at least I won’t be looking over my shoulder constantly waiting for the day when they find out what’s really going on because…because I know that day is coming – I don’t know when, but I know it is and knowing it kills me.”
When he paused, Sydney took in a long breath and let it out slowly. It was fairly obvious where their conversation line was going, but she couldn’t let herself believe it until she heard the words from him.
“I know you care for Grace…and she…she talks about you all the time; she loves you-”
“I love her too,” Sydney chimed in rather tearfully.
Michael gave her a very tiny smile as one corner of his lip pulled up ever so slightly. “I know this is a lot to ask – a lot to ask, but I want you to take custody of Grace. I don’t know how long it will be for but…but at least she won’t be thrown in some foster home with god knows who else. That would kill me,” he emphasized strongly. “I just… I don’t know what else to do, so I’m asking you to please, please do this.”
When he finished speaking, all Sydney could do was stare at the man in front of her. He was giving up the only thing he had in his life because he loved it so much and breaking his own heart in the process. What could she possibly have said to that? How could she make it better? She wasn’t sure, but she wanted to more than anything.
“I know this is a lot to take in and this is a surprise I know…,” he continued after a few minutes of silence hung between them. “You can…take your time…”
“I will,” Sydney croaked out. “I’ll think about it I promise.”
“Thank you,” he said sincerely. Just as he was turning to walk away, he felt Sydney touch his arm lightly. She walked around in front of him, looking him in the eye, before speaking.
“I know how hard this was for you,” she said softly. Then, she slipped her arms up around his neck, pulling him into a strong hug. “Thank you for asking me.”
“Yeah,” he said softly into her ear. Then, they broke their hug and went out to join Grace on the sofa, where she was celebrating being free from school until the next calendar year.
“Hey Sydney, can we go see the big Christmas tree sometime?” Grace asked after a picture of the item in question flipped up on the television screen.
“Sure; we’ll go this week during one of my lunch breaks okay? Unless your dad wants to come too…,” she let her voice drift off as she looked up to Michael.
“Oh yea Daddy come!” Grace grinned at him.
“How about we go during the evening? Then we can see it lit up,” Michael suggested.
“Let’s go now!” Grace said, jumping up off the couch.
“We…can go now,” Sydney said with a slight shrug, not seeing a reason why they should not go. “We’ll just go in our pajamas. We don’t have to get out of the car; it’s too cold anyway.”
“OKAY!” Grace shouted before running towards the front door.
After calling for a car, the three of them only had to wait ten minutes (though it was ten minutes during which Grace was extremely impatient) before it arrived. Then, they piled into the back with blankets that Sydney so wisely brought and settled in for their ride to Rockefeller Center.
“How’d they get all those decorations on there?! Magic?” Grace asked as she peered out the window at the statuesque tree.
“No sweetie, they built up scaffolding around it and climbed up real high to put all the decorations on,” Michael explained to her.
“Musta taken forever!” Grace concluded.
By the time the three of them arrived home, Grace had fallen asleep due to the lulling affect of driving around in the car. Michael carried her inside and upstairs, where she woke up enough for them to change her into her PJs. Then, Sydney tucked her into bed and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead before whispering, “I love you,” into the little girls ear. True, it was the first time she said it aloud (save earlier that evening when she told Michael), but she had felt it for a long time ever since Grace turned up looking so pale and ill on her doorstep.
“Love ‘ou too ‘id-nee,” Grace mumbled sleepily. Sydney smiled and kissed her forehead once more before leaving the room so that Michael could take his turn saying goodnight to his daughter.