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Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by Sunfire_77, May 3, 2003.

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  1. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Right where I am sitten
    I have been kinda busy with things and I thought of a fic of Alias in a real place. Real dramas real problems. real deaths. real CIA. So I hope my ideas can bring together an enjoyable funny dramatic story.


    Ch.1 ** The new beginning**


    Michael Swiftily but caustiously got out of the 98" Jag, and took his sunglasses off. The street was cold and pale. Black women with knitting material sat on their front porches with curiousity in their eyes. Children , in what clothes they had, Played hop scotch and jump rope in their front yards. The streets were paved with ghetto mentally written over it.
    Michael looked at the site and felt a pain. He was use to the feeling of insecurity the children went through in the ghettos of L.A. He walked with pride and Arogance. His hands sweating and his knees weak. He walked up to the creaky white fence and pulled it open. Toys covered the front yard of the old run down house. An African American man in Baggy blue pants and a baggy tank top came from the screechy front door. He had a sence of Business in his eyes. The man walked down from the steps right in front of Michael. He lifted his hand and made a gesturious fist. Michael did the same and they bumbed hands.
    "You here ta see Mitch." Asked the man. His front gold tooth Gleaming from the cloudy sky.
    Michael lifted his glasses off and put them in his coat. He looked at the man straight in the eye.
    "Yea. I am here for my stash." He said with confidence.
    The man raised his brow slightily.
    " The coopdaville is in da lot." Said Michael suringly.
    The man smiled and started his way up the creeky steps. Michael followed with relief.
    The screen door screeched open and shut.
    The man showed Michael down the stairs into the basement. Where in the smoky room a bunch of men in dark colored coats sat around a fold up table with chairs to match.
    One man stood up curiously and the others followed.
    The man with Michael raised his hands in confidence.
    "He's lookin for Mitch." The man proclaimed. The guys then sat down and went back to their business.
    A man with dark skin and fancy clothes came from behind them.
    Michael and the man turned around and stared at the man.
    "You Mitch?" Michael asked curiously.
    "Yee. What brings you to me?" The Mitch asked curiously.
    But before Michael could answer the sound of bullets rang from upstairs.
     
  2. vaughnmyangel

    vaughnmyangel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2003
    i love it ally finally vaughn seems to be gtting some action!!!!!!
     
  3. Betha Bristow

    Betha Bristow Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2003
    Location:
    United States
    this is good! I'm one of the first to reply...URGH! :mad:
     
  4. Alias Elle

    Alias Elle Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2002
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    While I thank you for recognizing that the previous post WAS NOT Alias or story-related, please realize is somewhere else, not in the threads. PM one of the other members if you have any questions.

    And Sunfire, this is very interesting. Even though I can't see Vaughn doing this, the imagery is really clear! It's like I can picture all of it in my head!

    ~Me :angel2:
     
  5. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Right where I am sitten
    hehehe. Well I didn't give much info to what he was actually doing there. hehehe. but I promise....... :) It has to do with the CIA. :) He's not evil :)
     
  6. I like it! write more! great to have you back ally! hope what ever happened is better now! great job creating the setting. :D
    --mandy :angelic:
     
  7. Betha Bristow

    Betha Bristow Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2003
    Location:
    United States
    :(
    sorry Alias Elle, I'll obey
     
  8. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    Yea!! Welcome back Ally!! :hi:
    Great new story!! Lots of Vaughn!! :woot: :woot:
    Hope you post more soon!!
    LMAO!! That part just caught me off guard!! :LOL: :LOL: :P I was like :wtf: Hehehehe!! :P
    -Karie-
     
  9. liliana

    liliana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003
    Location:
    South Africa
    welcome back its good to have you back.and great story can't wait 2 c what happens next
     
  10. Aliasgirl47

    Aliasgirl47 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    My House
    Yay! I know I said this like a million times, Ally, but I'm so glad your back! Anyway, I love this story./ I mean it's different from the other ones, but in a very good way. And when I read it, I keep picturing that Vaughn is wearing leather, which is very very good. Please post more soon!
     
  11. pennstatechic

    pennstatechic Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2003
    Location:
    Florida (Now PA for college)
    Very good start, I am exicited to find out more! Write more soon, very interesting!

    Lauren :angelic:
     
  12. Rambaldi_Follower

    Rambaldi_Follower Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    the description is really good in this
     
  13. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Hey, you're back! This is a great start and I hope you continue soon. Good job so far!
    ~kate
     
  14. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    o0o0o vaughn!!!
     
  15. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Right where I am sitten
    Awww Thanks you guys for all the great reviews. I have an big ideal as to where the story is going so somethings will starts to make since as time goes by. It will be very suspenceful..... ;)



    Ch.2

    The shots rang like a rush of water. The men at the table all jumped to their feet in a fluster. Michael stepped to the side as the men Trampled up the creeky stairs. The man that led Michael down the stairs was now in the back of the basement cocking the hiddened guns. Michael felt that his mission had been blown and found the need to escape. Vaughns leather jacket was now covered in sticky sweat. His forehead drenched. The sounds of yelling echoed from upstairs. Vaughn called into his coat collar.
    "Mountaineer. This is boy scout. The mission is being Aborted. I am getting out." Vaughn waited a long moment for a respond.
    "Ok Boy scout." Replied the voice on the other side.
    Vaughn let out a breath and pulled his gun out. The yelling of voices made his only exit jammed. He looked around the musky room for some sign of escape. At his last hope he spotted an old door in the back that led up to the day that Michael so wished he was. The yelling and shooting started to get closer. Michael started to run for the exit. By the time he opened the creeky screen door the men had made there shooting to the basement. One man saw Michael escape from the door and staretd to chase after him. His clanky medal Necklaces hung with his baggy sports Tee. Michael ran the stairs and made a swift jump over the gaurd rail. Rotweillers from the dog houses attached to the house let out a mind churning howl as they growled in anger. Michael looked behind him to see two African Americans Chasing after him with their guns lifted up. Michael lifted his gun and fired at the men. They hid behind a tree. Michael stopped in his tracks to see a big fence around the back yard of the house. His heart started to pound. His arms sweaty. blood shot. His face turned pale as he Lifted one arm then two onto the fence. He started to climb with every leg moving heavily up. He jumped the edge and landed safely onto the cold cement on the other side. The gravel smoothed into his soft cheek as his face hit the ground. He sighed a breath of pain then got to his feet. The sound of rap music filled the air. He looked to see where it was coming from. He spotted two kids standing with there arms crossed in the alley. Just staring at Michael. No sign of care. Like this was something they saw all the time. The pounding of the music made Michaels ears twinge. The men started to hollar again. Michael looked back. The men were half way to the fence. There was only one thing for him to do. He started to run. Down the alley pass trash cans and fences. His face pale woth worry. He ran. ran with all his strength. His coat flapped behind him. His leather pants shining dully. He came to the stop at the end of the alley. Two men stood before him. "BANG!"
     
  16. Xtremelimits08

    Xtremelimits08 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Location:
    Cleveland
    wow that took awhile for me to read great chapter!!!!!!!
    post more soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (y) (y) (y) (y)
     
  17. Sunfire_77

    Sunfire_77 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Right where I am sitten
    Thanks. I was hoping to get the next chapter up and I think I may have somthing up me sleeve, but I am not sure. Its quite uniquie though *laughs evily* I think you all will enjoy it :)
     
  18. nance

    nance TUMS

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2003
    OHH LEATHER PANTS!!! :LOL: WOW... DON'T KILL VAUGHN EVEN THOUGH LAST NIGHTS FINALE MAKES YOU FEEL MURDEROUS!!! it's reallly good!! can't wait for the next chapter!
     
  19. alias8000

    alias8000 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
    This seems really good Ally! I'm gonna stay and check it out and I think this will get as good as your other fics!
     
  20. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    Vaughn in leather!!! :woot: :woot: :woot: ::sigh::
    Great story!! I hope Vaughn is okay. :( Can't wait for the next chapter!! :woot:
    -Karie-
     

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