I just took grade 12 english in july and we got help on these application form paragraphs. My teacher gave us this sheet to help us decide our topics, some of the suggestions might not apply though, this is going to be long, so bear with me
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1. discusss the greatest challenge you have had to face.
2. Identify a person (other than a parent, boy/girlfriend or teacher) who has had a significant influence on you and describe that ingluence
3. how do you think your high school's curriculum can be improved for the next generation of students?
4. How has the place in which you live influenced the person you are? Define "place" any way you like, as a context, a country, a city, a community, a house or a point in time.
5. what are your expectations of a university education?
6. Evaluate a significant achievement or experience that has special meaning for you
7. traditions are a n integral part of our lives. Tell us about a tradition that is honoured by your family, friends or your culture and write about why it is important to you.
startoff with something descriptive and something that informs them to make them remember
you like (using my essay for example):
The smell of chlorine was in the air, almost sickening to a point where you could taste it. This was different from the class where we usually were, practicing CPR and secondary breathing. It was 9:00 am and we were at the Brock University pool for our swim test, to see if we could swim twenty lengths in under fourteen minutes. The first test we had during towards achieving our Bronze Medallion. The pool had a bulkhead in the middle separating the deep end from the shallow. My class and I had decided the session before that we were going to swim twenty half-lengths instead of ten of the whole pool.
to close you want to say how it has evolved you as a person and what you have gained and will gain from that experience. Than close with a sentence that is catchy and memorable (using my essay for example agian, not the best):
Every time, I reflect on this ordeal I feel uplifted and happier. Doing this test has shown me that I am able to do more challenging problems because I have the willpower. Feeling proud of myself because I had found a way to overcome this significant obstacle in my life. Believing this about myself brings the thought of overcoming any obstacle that will face me in University and in life because I know it is possible. Not just the physical barriers but also internal and emotional ones. Achieving Bronze Medallion was a great accomplishment for myself and I gained more confidence, despite the overwhelming smells of chlorine I had to face. Which, I can still smell every time I think about that day.
some other tips:
Dos:
-show your personality - your individuality,
your voice
-specific detail realted to experiences
-thoughtfulness and imagination
-authenticity, sincerity, honesty
-write to reveal your values
-be engaging with your subject - you care and so the reader cares
-pay attention to you audience (an admissions or scholarship committee) and your purpose
-present you best self (no meaning to be dishonest)
-don't be afraid to show intellectual interests, select an approach that suits you
-keep your essay unified and organized (make sure there is an essay or implied thesis)
-use a good vocabulary-but not too over the top with the longest of obscure words.
-sensory appealing sentences, involving: smell, sight, touch, taste and hearing
Don'ts
-repeating information that is found in your application
- writing a general piece that makes you sound like everyone else
my teacher said if you can change three facts to make it your own than it is to vague or not specific. might lead to change your subject
-being cliché or superficial
-sounding "fake" or "phony" - a voice like a middle-aged parent instead of the mid to late adolexcent you are
-sounding impersonal
-demonstrating that you aren't ready for university, being rude, flippant, confused, uncertain
-tackling too many issues
maybe talking about one of the languages is better than all three
okay, that's it
there are examples of essays over the internet that you can get an idea from, in writing your essay. Also it will help you in seeing examples of what not to do.
I really hope this helps. Good Luck!! If you need more help, I am happy to answer questions.
