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betrayad

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by FrEeLaNcEr03, Apr 19, 2003.

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  1. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    I dont own any of these character.
    Please review. I am trying to decide whether to continue or not.

    Syd POV

    (Crying)
    “Vaughn I am so sorry. Please forgive me. It wasn’t what it looked like. Really.” I held Vaughn’s lifeless body close to me, and cried uncontrollably.

    FLASHBACK
    2 days earlier
    Los Angel[e]s
    CIA HEADQUARTERS

    Vaughn POV
    “Hey Syd, can you come here a sec?”
    Vaughn takes Syd to a small room and starts talking to her
    “Do you wanna go to dinner with me tonight?” Will and Francie can come to. It could be a double date.”
    “ They broke up, but I am sure that they would love to come.”
    “Good I will see you then. Oh and before I forget, Kendall wants to see you.”
    “ Oh, what does he want now??
    “I don’t know Syd, but (sarcastically) have fun!!

    SYD POV

    Kendall started talking to me about how he was very impressed with my performance when on a mission. Ever since SD-6 was taken down, he was really upbeat, and less like himself. He told me that I could have the week off, and I am sure that he could see that I was happy. After some negotiating, I also got him to let Vaughn have the week off.

    “He is my handler and partner, and he is under even more pressure than I am,” I replied trying not to raise my voice too much. I didn’t want Kendall to figure out that there was something going on between Vaughn and me.
    “I understand that Ms. Bristow, but I don’t see why you would care so much. Is there something going on between you two??”
    “No, but I think that Vaughn puts a lot of hard work in everyday, and he should be rewarded.
    “ Alright Ms. Bristow, if you must, but need I remind you of PROTOCAL?”

    There it was. The eight-letter word that I hated so much. It had kept Vaughn and me apart for so long.

    “NO sir. I will see you when I get back”
    Kendall stormed out, and I slowly followed. I gathered some things that I might need, and went to say my goodbyes to Dixon, Marshall, and Weiss. I told Will and Vaughn that I would see them both later.

    When I got home, Francie was there watching Friends. I could hear her laughing from the living room.

    “Hey Fran. What’s up?”
    “Oh hey Syd. Nothing much. What about you?”
    “Well you know that hot guy from work that I told you about?”
    “Yes,” Francie said a smile spreading across her face.
    “Well he asked me to go to dinner with him tonight, and he invited you and Will along. Are you guys ok. Ever since you broke up it’s been kind of awkward.”
    “That would be great. I can’t wait.”

    Just then Will walked into the room.

    “Hey Syd,” He was very cheery. Then he saw Francie, and he got really nervous. He was uncomfortable around her ever since he decided to break up with her. (He still likes Syd.)

    “Hey Fran.”
    “ Hey Will”
    “Syd can I talk to you in the room please”
    “Sure Will. Be right back Fran.

    Will and Sydney went into Syd’s bedroom and sat down on the bed. (The door was still open) Then Will starts mumbling.

    “ Well you are going out with Vaughn right?”
    “Yeah, last time I checked”
    “ OK, well I still have to tell you something. I have known you for a long time,” he started, but was interrupted by the doorbell. He heard Francie answer, so he decided to continue.
    “Syd I love you”
    “ Oh my gosh. Will don’t”
    But she was interrupted. Will was kissing her. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. When after what seemed like forever, the kiss stopped and she looked up seeing Vaughn standing in the doorway, with the most hurt look in the world.

    What did you think? Is it worth for me to continue?? PLEASE REVIEW!!
     
  2. oh this have a lot of potential write more! p.s. i think u spelled the title wrong... or is it suppose to be that way.
    --Mandy :angelic:
     
  3. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2003
    Location:
    the outskirts of HELL
    yeah go on i want to see what vaughn does!! :o great start!! :D
     
  4. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast
    AAAHHHH WILLLLL!!! Stupid little blob. Grrr I hate it when he does that sort of thing. But I like Will, although by the next chapter I might not.
     
  5. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    ahhhh stoopid will!!!!!! kill him vaughn kill him!!! kill him syd!! knock him in the nuts!!woo! sorry..post more....<=D
     
  6. Xtremelimits08

    Xtremelimits08 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Location:
    Cleveland
    Please go on i'm VERY interested in seeing how this turns out
     
  7. mer_vaughn

    mer_vaughn Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2003
    Location:
    Sacramento, California
    You should keep going but I hope Syd and Vaughn are together in the end. ;)
     
  8. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    thank you so much for your posts guys and girls. i really appreciate all your great comments. this is my first fic, so i am not sure how it iis gonna turn out. i hope you like it. i will probably have more up sometime tomorrow. i am glad you like it.
     
  9. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    yeah. i realised it right after i clicked the add post and i dont know how to fix it.
     
  10. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2003
    Ugh! Evil Will, he always ruins everything. Just one question - were Sydney and Vaughn together?
     
  11. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    if you mean going out then yes. it happened after phase one, but francie is not evil, and irina is still good. for now at least. i hate will, and so i had to make him the bad guy. sorry i should have made that more clear. I just have a question for all of you that have been reviewing. first of all thanx for reviewing and second of all is there anything about the way that i wrote it that is confusing. if so, then please let me know. as i said before, this is my first fic, and I am trying to get everything to make sense.
     
  12. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2003
    Location:
    Texas
    I think you are off to a very good start. :D I can't speak for everyone else, but I wasn't confused at all. :) ....maybe we're on the same 'brain page'. lol :LOL: I can't wait to find out what Vaughn will do. :P
    -Karie-
     
  13. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    from da hood
    hehe>=D kill him..i dant like will...although hes really buff....::giggles::<=D
     
  14. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    ohh I HATE WILL!!!!!!!!!!!HE CAN JUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    timmy :ninja:
     
  15. liliana

    liliana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003
    Location:
    South Africa
    hell yes you should continue it's a good start can't wait 2 c what happens next
     
  16. alisydas

    alisydas Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2003
    Location:
    U.K, where I dont know!
    No will is so sweet.
     
  17. Xtremelimits08

    Xtremelimits08 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Location:
    Cleveland
    I'm wondering what Francies reaction will be, I mean
    didn't u say Will broke up with her and not the other way around?
     
  18. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    Yeah, Will broke up with Francie, caus he wanted to try to win syd.
    Thanks for all the good reviews. I really appreciate it!!
     
  19. FrEeLaNcEr03

    FrEeLaNcEr03 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2003
    SYD POV

    “Vaughn Wait!!!” but it was too late. Vaughn ran out and got into his black 2003 Ford Focus and sped off. Francie was in the doorway with a confused look on her face, and I was there standing trying to control myself. I was becoming frantic now. I couldn’t control myself. I burst out into tears and Francie hugged me tightly. Will had now walked into the living room and was watching the scene. He seemed genuinely sorry.

    VAUGHN POV

    “How could Syd do that to me? Maybe it wasn’t what it looked like. NO that can’t be right. She was sitting in her room and she was kissing Will.”

    Just then the phone rang.

    “Vaughn here”
    “Hey buddy,” Weiss replied cheerfully.
    “Oh hey Weiss,” Vaughn replied in a very gloomy tone.
    “Hey so I was walking down the street, and I see this hot chick and I was like “Hey how you doin’ and she was like fine. I was like walking backwards and I tripped over a vegetable stand. Who leaves those on the sidewalk anyway? So I fractured my elbow, and I am at her place right now. She is helping me, and I think that I might be getting lucky later tonight, so don’t wait up. Who’s got the balls of steel now?”
    “That’s nice Eric”
    “Hey dude what’s wrong? You seem depressed, and seeing as you have a girlfriend and a drawer at her place, you are unusually gloomy.”
    “I walked in on Sydney kissing Will.”
    “Will? As in Tippin Will as in the guy who used to like Sydney and then went out with her best friend and is now trying to steal your girl? That Will??”
    “Yes Weiss. I don’t want to talk about it. We were going to go out for dinner, but I changed my mind. I think I will get an early night. See you tomorrow at work ok?”
    “Yea sure bud. Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

    I went home took a really nice long hot shower and crawled into bed.

    SYD POV

    Will went home without saying anything to me.

    “So Syd what happened? I saw him at the door and thought it would be ok to let him in. What happened?”
    “Well Fran, Will told me that he loved me and then he kind of kissed me and I didn’t pull away caus I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Anyway the door was open and Vau--- Michael was standing there and he saw. Now he thinks that I cheated on him, and the truth is that he is the only person that I need in my life right now. I love him so much and I hurt him so badly.”
    “ I cant believe Will did that! Did he know that you two were going out?”
    “Yeah” I couldn’t tell whether Francie was jealous, or whether she was actually upset that he wrecked what Vaughn and I had or whether it was both.

    VAUGHN POV

    I woke up the next morning to the sound of my alarm clock screaming in my ear. It was 5:30. Just enough time to go for my morning run. I quickly got up and jogged down to the park and back. When I got home I finished getting ready and reluctantly went to work. I didn’t know how things were going to be today.

    I walked into the operations center, and there she was. Syd was standing there talking to Jack. I walked past her not saying anything. Weiss was sitting there on my desk with his arm in a sling and using the other hand to play with his yoyo.
    “Hey Mike”
    “Hey Eric. So how did it go with your mystery lady?” I didn’t really want to know, but I knew that he would start talking about it anyway.
    “Oh that. I was just about to put the moves on her, when her biker boy husband walks in with his leather jacket and big boots and his long hair. I almost got my a$# kicked. I left as quickly as I could.”
    “Oh that good huh? I can’t say that I am any better.”
    Just then Sydney walked in.

    “Hey guys, what’s up?”
    I didn’t say anything but Weiss didn’t hesitate to talk much to Sydney.
    “Oh hey Syd. I was just telling Mikey over here about my mystery lady.”
    “Cool. Kendall just told me that there will be a briefing in 10 minutes and he wants all of us to be there.”
    She said that as if it was directly aimed at me.
    “Ok Syd, I will make sure that Mikey here comes.”
    “Thanks Weiss.”


    No POV

    Everyone that is usually in the briefing room was there. Weiss, Vaughn, Sydney, Jack, Marshall, Kendall, and Will.
    The tension was so thick that you could have cut it with a knife. Will was looking at Syd trying to get her attention, Sydney was looking at Vaughn trying to get his attention, and Vaughn was looking at Jack who was giving him the most dirty look in the world. Jack had told Vaughn that if he ever hurt his daughter he would personally blow his brains out.

    Kendall talking:
    “ I am sure that you are all aware that Sloane is still at large. We have a lead on him. He has been seen by one of our operatives in South Africa. He is thought to be currently looking for the new piece of the Rambaldi manuscript. Agents Bristow and Vaughn are going to get it before he does. Good luck. That is all.
     
  20. OHHHH BURNED! they need a cute cover. Husband and wife? girl and boy friend??? something that will bring them really close! *wink wink* :LOL: j/k. any ways love it! :D
    --mandy :angelic:
     

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