Politics Have you ever?

nataliethealiasfreak

nataliethealiasfreak

The Dark Phoenix
hey guys.... i just came back from visiting my best friend's grave and i never saw a topic about this issue so i thought i'd bring it up.....

Well death has never really been a part of my life until November 8th, 2002 when my best friend Kailie died in a car accident along with her dad and baby brother.....i never thought the first funeral i went to would be a girl my age, not only that but my best friend, a girl i knew since i was 5.... and the one person who helped me get through it was my other best friend named Shannon, she always knew the right words to say to cheer me up, she would always used to say "don't worry kittens!" and that would crack me up, if it wasn't for her, i dunno how i would survive Kailie's death.... just a month later on December 8th, 2002, Shannon was killed by a drunk driver....thats when my world turned upside down....geez, i have never felt that much pain before.... seeing Shannon's coffin go into a 6 foot hole in the ground was the worst thing i have ever seen .... after her burial, i went up to my room and basically shut myself down, i would lay in the dark, all alone, i didn't wanna see anyone, or talk to anyone....it was the weirdest thing ever.... and then my mom got tired of me sitting in the dark so when iw as asleep, she came in my room and opened my blinds to let some light in, that morning was the brightest morning i had ever woken up to.... and i just remember waking up, going downstairs and having breakfast like nothing ever happened, it was the weirdest thing, it was like someone just brought me back to life..... after that, everything was ok again, i mean it wasn't perfect, it'll never be perfect again but it was tolerable....

and just when my life was getting back to normal, my good friend Ashley was killed in a snowmobile accident on January 9th, 2004...... i just got tired of my friends dying, although i didn't react to her death as badly as i did when Shannon died, i still cried for weeks.....

I just wanna know if there's anyone who had to endure this kinda pain before, and how did you guys grieve over it, cuz i know we all grieve on our own way but i don't think i'm very good in the whole greving process..... :thinking:
 
i'm sorry for your losses.

i have never experienced loss like that- but a friend of mine has just been diagnosed with cancer, a boy i know was in coma for a long time and is now brain damaged. my sister's two friends died- seperately, in car accidents and her grief was just so overwhelming, i felt like i lost someone close.
 
I've never lost a friend, but i have lost family. my grandma died before i was born, but my grandpa died a few years ago of a heart attack. 3 cousins of mine have died, one was driving drunk and crashed, another died of spinal menegitas(sp?), the other drank dog shampoo that had lye in it. and my uncle died in a helecopter crash in Africa (he was a missionary-pilot).
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your friends.

My first experience with death was when I was six and my two year old sister died after hitting her head in an accident. It was a long time ago (I'm 18 now) but I still think about her sometimes. I remember right after she died my mom, dad, brother, and I all curled up on the couch together and watched Winnie the Pooh. We were too upset to talk, so we just sat there and cried and held each other. It was really hard on my family because my sister was so young and her death was so unexpected, but we got through it together. We had a lot of support from our parish, but I felt weird when people would give me presents to try to make me feel better because it seemed like I was getting rewarded for having a dead sister.

In some ways, I think it's easier to handle death when you're a kid because you can cry and let out all your feelings without any embarrassment. I'm not sure if I would be able to do that now. My parents and teachers were really great at encouraging me to talk about how I felt and letting me deal with it in my own way. I also went to a therapist for a few months afterward to make sure I was really okay. It was this group program with other kids who had lost a sibling.

I think the most important thing in dealing with a death is just to let yourself feel and grieve in whatever way works for you.

Looking back, I can see that losing someone close to me at a young age has changed to way I look at things. Death has always been very real to me, so that makes life that much more precious. I don't let stupid little stuff bother me as much because having someone die shows you what is really important, which is the people you love. I'm super close to my family and tell them I love them whenever I can because you never know what's going to happen.
 
yeah, thats what i learned after all of this..... live your life like everyday might be your last, and there's no time to think about your feelings, you just have to let people know right away cuz you never know when you or they won't be around anymore

there's so many things i wish i would've told my friends before they died and now i have to go on with my life with the thought that i never got to say goodbye or tell them that i loved them.......thats the hardest thing to get through
 
Im sorry to hear about all of your loses :hug: ,nataliethealiasfreak and ms.katejones nearlly made me cry :cry: :blush: , I think its good you's dont let it affect you.

2 of my grandparents died when I was 3/4 so I dont remember anything. But if I was to lose someone really close to me , I dont know how I would take it.

From reading this thread it seems death gives you a better look in life ( i hope that didnt come across wrong)
 
<Shotgun> said:
Im sorry to hear about all of your loses :hug:  ,nataliethealiasfreak and ms.katejones nearlly made me cry :cry: :blush: , I think its good you's dont let it affect you.

2 of my grandparents died when I was 3/4 so I dont remember anything. But if I was to lose someone really close to me , I dont know how I would take it.

From reading this thread it seems death gives you a better look in life ( i hope that didnt come across wrong)
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thanx :hug: no no, that doesn't sound wrong, you're very right, as hard as it was, it just made me realize how stubborn i was to think that no one ever dies at such a young age and that i have time to tell them how much i love them when really i didn't....... i'll always regret and hate myself for not telling them how i really felt but now i definately look at life differently
 
im really sorry for your losses.

none of my friends died, but one came really close.

it was the night of September 9, 2003. my friend was driving home from soccer practice during the first rainstorm of the year. when he was making a left turn, his car hydroplaned and he wrapped his car around a tree. when the paramedics got to the scene, they pronounced him dead, but realized that was a faulty assumption. they rushed him to the hospital to realize that there was a lot of internal bleeding and the bones from his pelvis downward were shattered.

after undergoing many surgeries, and almost being lost a few times on the table, he remained in his coma. since we were people of faith, our entire school prayed for him, his entire parish prayed for him, our alums prayed for him, and even my parish prayed for him.

one day, miraculously, he awoke and was soon able to go home and eventually come back to school. his doctors said that in all their years of medicine, they've never seen anything like it before.

for me, my faith really helps me to get thru things like this.
 
I know how you feel :(

My first experiance with someone dying was 2 years ago. I was 12 and my closest cousin got cancer (she was only 13)

She had to stay in a hospital forever. She finally came home for a weekend but I wasnt allowed to see her. She died a couple of days later. Right in her parent's bed. I couldnt stop crying at the funeral and my little 4 year old cousin kept staring up at me and I had to keep smiling to show her everything was going to be OK. I dont talk about her much anymore. I barely say her name but that's how I handle it. I'm afraid I'd start crying in front of a bunch of people.

I feel really sorry for you and anyone else that's ever been through a death.
 
OMG...this is so sad...I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. (n)

3 of my grandparents died...my mom's dad died 22 years ago..I wasn't even born. Then my mom's mom died in 1999 shortly after we visited her. Then my dad's dad died about 2 years ago.

Ever since my brother was born, he had a lot of medical issues, especially allergies. He almost died multiple times after eating chick peas or something like that. He stopped breathing in about 3 cases and was rushed to the hospital... we would pray so hard...and he wouldn't die. Like the_alliance said, I think faith can help you through these times. Just...seeing him...his throat closing up...it's hard to see. His eyes would even roll back...and I would think he was dying or something.

Then a friend of mine also had a lot of medical issues...he had cancer as a toddler so some problems kind of dragged along behind him... he has grand mal seizures about once every two years and it is pretty scary.
 
I think a group hug is a wonderful idea natalie :group:

my parents died when my twin brother and I were 13 and my younger sister was 11 so we were all slightly old. none of our close relatives had the finances to take all of us in so my brother and I went to an orphanage and my younger sister lived with an aunt. We were lucky though the twins (as we like to call ourselves) never got split up but I still remember the pain of loosing a close family member and I think natalies right it all comes down to just living for the moment and not survivng in the past. though memories are exellent things thats all they are. so remember just dont remeber so much you forget about the now.

so yeah thats my story its really nice to be able to share with other people whove gone through the same pain I have :smooch:
 
DarkAngelEnder said:
I think a group hug is a wonderful idea natalie :group:

my parents died when my twin brother and I were 13 and my younger sister was 11 so we were all slightly old. none of our close relatives had the finances to take all of us in so my brother and I went to an orphanage and my younger sister lived with an aunt. We were lucky though the twins (as we like to call ourselves) never got split up but I still remember the pain of loosing a close family member and I think natalies right it all comes down to just living for the moment and not survivng in the past. though memories are exellent things thats all they are. so remember just dont remeber so much you forget about the now.

so yeah thats my story its really nice to be able to share with other people whove gone through the same pain I have :smooch:
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awwwww i'm so sorry about you parents :( but at least you're strong and have a great view on life :smiley:
 
DarkAngelEnder said:
but hey muh bro and I got adopted by some really cool people...even if they are a little wacked
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hahaha all parents are a little wacked don't worry ;) i'm glad things worked out for ya :smiley:
 
i've never gone through tht much pain and suffering before. i'm really srry about all tht stuff tht has happened. But I also realize these things can happen 2 anyone and tht what makes it more sad :(
 
people have told me that death should be a happy time cuz we know that the people we love are in a safer and much happier place then this world and it's true but it's still so hard to let go of whats gone.... the song My Immortal really helped me realized that i dwelled on my friend's passing for too long and it was literally haunting me, everywhere i went, i was reminded of them.... but eventually, it does get better, it just has to right ;)
 
wow that was a powerful story  but i'm glad that your adoptive parents are nice
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thanks its been rough but as some of you know Im too happy go lucky for my own good so that really helped ;)




the song My Immortal really helped me realized that i dwelled on my friend's passing for too long and it was literally haunting me
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I liked that song it was very touching
 

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