sexcivaughn14
welcome home
Title: Not Tonight
Ship: S/V
Author: Carolyn
Thanks: to all my girls, just for bein here
Note: This is my first unbeta'd piece in a LONG time, be kind.
Lyrics- Liz Phair- Why Can't I
get a load of me get a load of you
walking down the street and i hardly know you
it's just like we were meant to be
holding hands with you when we're out at night
got a girlfriend you say it isn't right
and i've got someone waiting too
Every time I look at you my heart, it breaks. Over and over, I can see the images play in my mind, you and her together; you telling her how much you love her.
After a while, I almost believe it’s true.
It’s been almost three years since the last time you held me, since the last time you loved me, and now she’s gone, there aren’t anymore excuses for us.
Or for us not being us anymore.
Sometimes, at night I just sit there, thinking about what would have happened if those two years hadn’t happened.
Where would we be?
Would we be married?
Would we have kids?
Would there be a white picket fence?
A dog?
what it is its just the beginning
we're already wet and were gonna go swimming
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that were gonna get down to it
so tell me
Every night, those questions fill my mind and I put them to rest, as I fall into the peaceful slumber that will only last for a few moments before you fill my dreams again.
I think of the way you used to feel. The way you used to hold me, and everything is right again, until I see her.
Her blonde hair, you’re fingers tousled in it, while you laugh and smile and kiss.
All the while I just wish it was me.
I always have, I always will.
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
isn't this the best part of breaking up
finding someone else you can't get enough of
someone who wants to be with you too
it's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
but wouldn't it be beautiful
I can see you, through the glass window that separates our offices.
You’re typing at your computer, not breaking your concentration, not glancing up, just working vigorously. I find myself asking what it is you’re thinking about.
I wonder if you’re going to go home after work.
Or to the bar.
Or to Eric’s house.
here we go we're at the beginning
we haven't f***ed yet but my head's spinning
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that were gonna get down to it
I wonder if I’ll cross you’re mind tonight when you’re getting ready for bed, or brushing your teeth.
I know that I’ll go home, I’ll open a bottle of wine and have a glass while I listen to music and think about all the things I wish I could say to you, and then I’ll go to bed, still leaving all of those things unsaid.
You’re talking to Eric now, he’s laughing and so are you, a huge smile is on you’re lips and it makes me think of that night we spent in Nice, having dinner.
That night will always be one of the most magical of my life.
A night I’ll never forget.
so tell me
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
high enough for you to make me wonder, where it's going
high enough for you to pull me under
something's growing out of this that we can't control
baby im dying
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that were gonna get down to it
Eric leaves, and I now wonder what had the two of you laughing, I can see Eric off in the distance with Nadia, I can hear their laughter.
And then I ask myself, were we like that?
Did our laughter light up a room?
You’re typing again, that wrinkle is creasing you’re forehead and I find myself smiling as you finally stop.
You look up in my direction; I immediately avert my eyes back to my screen and appear to be working feverishly as my face turns a shade of bright red.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see you stand up and my heart beats faster as I see that you’re walking towards my office, I continue to look at the report, seeing the words but not understanding any of them, my mind is on you, like it always is.
You walk into my office.
“Hi” you smile at me.
so tell me
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
I smile back and look up at you, a smile on my lips, I see you match my smile and you’re emerald eyes twinkle.
“So I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight” you ask me, your hands are dug deep into you’re pockets, you’re shifting back and forth on your feet like a seventh grader asking a girl to go to the carnival.
“I’d love to” I tell you.
My mind is delirious as you tell me how you’ll pick me up at 7 and then you walk out.
And I smile to myself.
Because I know…
…I know that tonight, I wont leave those things unsaid.
Ship: S/V
Author: Carolyn
Thanks: to all my girls, just for bein here
Note: This is my first unbeta'd piece in a LONG time, be kind.
Lyrics- Liz Phair- Why Can't I
get a load of me get a load of you
walking down the street and i hardly know you
it's just like we were meant to be
holding hands with you when we're out at night
got a girlfriend you say it isn't right
and i've got someone waiting too
Every time I look at you my heart, it breaks. Over and over, I can see the images play in my mind, you and her together; you telling her how much you love her.
After a while, I almost believe it’s true.
It’s been almost three years since the last time you held me, since the last time you loved me, and now she’s gone, there aren’t anymore excuses for us.
Or for us not being us anymore.
Sometimes, at night I just sit there, thinking about what would have happened if those two years hadn’t happened.
Where would we be?
Would we be married?
Would we have kids?
Would there be a white picket fence?
A dog?
what it is its just the beginning
we're already wet and were gonna go swimming
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that were gonna get down to it
so tell me
Every night, those questions fill my mind and I put them to rest, as I fall into the peaceful slumber that will only last for a few moments before you fill my dreams again.
I think of the way you used to feel. The way you used to hold me, and everything is right again, until I see her.
Her blonde hair, you’re fingers tousled in it, while you laugh and smile and kiss.
All the while I just wish it was me.
I always have, I always will.
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
isn't this the best part of breaking up
finding someone else you can't get enough of
someone who wants to be with you too
it's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
but wouldn't it be beautiful
I can see you, through the glass window that separates our offices.
You’re typing at your computer, not breaking your concentration, not glancing up, just working vigorously. I find myself asking what it is you’re thinking about.
I wonder if you’re going to go home after work.
Or to the bar.
Or to Eric’s house.
here we go we're at the beginning
we haven't f***ed yet but my head's spinning
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that were gonna get down to it
I wonder if I’ll cross you’re mind tonight when you’re getting ready for bed, or brushing your teeth.
I know that I’ll go home, I’ll open a bottle of wine and have a glass while I listen to music and think about all the things I wish I could say to you, and then I’ll go to bed, still leaving all of those things unsaid.
You’re talking to Eric now, he’s laughing and so are you, a huge smile is on you’re lips and it makes me think of that night we spent in Nice, having dinner.
That night will always be one of the most magical of my life.
A night I’ll never forget.
so tell me
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
high enough for you to make me wonder, where it's going
high enough for you to pull me under
something's growing out of this that we can't control
baby im dying
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that were gonna get down to it
Eric leaves, and I now wonder what had the two of you laughing, I can see Eric off in the distance with Nadia, I can hear their laughter.
And then I ask myself, were we like that?
Did our laughter light up a room?
You’re typing again, that wrinkle is creasing you’re forehead and I find myself smiling as you finally stop.
You look up in my direction; I immediately avert my eyes back to my screen and appear to be working feverishly as my face turns a shade of bright red.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see you stand up and my heart beats faster as I see that you’re walking towards my office, I continue to look at the report, seeing the words but not understanding any of them, my mind is on you, like it always is.
You walk into my office.
“Hi” you smile at me.
so tell me
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
whenever i think about you
I smile back and look up at you, a smile on my lips, I see you match my smile and you’re emerald eyes twinkle.
“So I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight” you ask me, your hands are dug deep into you’re pockets, you’re shifting back and forth on your feet like a seventh grader asking a girl to go to the carnival.
“I’d love to” I tell you.
My mind is delirious as you tell me how you’ll pick me up at 7 and then you walk out.
And I smile to myself.
Because I know…
…I know that tonight, I wont leave those things unsaid.
