SkyGirl5
Cadet
:hi: Hey everyone
so here's the deal... this fic started out as a one parter but i got carried away (like usual) and it ended up being almost 10 thousand words which is kinda long for a one parter so im going to split it up into 3 parts for you ^_^
Remember how i said i liked writing first person in "The Letter" ? Well this is my only other first person written fic only this one only uses sydney's point of view
Title: Running (Using the lyrics from No Doubt's "Running" )
Genre: S/V, Flangst (thanks to Katy for teaching me this word
) but the angst is very minor
Timeline: Season 2 post getaway but phase one never happened so just somewhere around there you'll see
Summary: Sloane finds out Syd is a double and she must go on the run
Running
Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side
In my life, there are many things to be afraid of. Every day I conquer new horrifying things and every day I find new things to fear. But there is one thing that I fear above all else and now that fear has been realized. Dread, uncertainty, terror, sadness... I feel all those things. I’m feeling so much right now that I’m not even sure I’m feeling at all.
I can’t sit so I get up and begin to pace. I walk the trail between the two chain link fences over and over again. It’s only about fifteen feet but I just keep going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...
Maybe if I walk it enough times then time will stop. All I want is just one moment. I need to catch my breath. I hear him coming. In his footsteps I find a little hope that maybe; just maybe things will be alright.
He slides open the door and I can’t help myself. I throw my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder as the first tears begin to fall. “Shhh, it’s ok.” He tells me. I know he’s confused; he doesn’t know what’s wrong. All I said in the message I left was that I needed to see him because it was urgent, nothing more. I want to tell him but I can’t speak; not yet anyway. I just want him to hold me for one more minute. I want to feel safe in his arms for just a little bit longer.
“Syd, what happened?” He asks me. I reluctantly slide out of his comforting embrace, wipe my cheeks and look up into the green eyes that I love.
“Sloane.” I choke out. “He... he knows.”
“Knows what?” Vaughn asks. “That you’re a double?”
Thank god he said it because I don’t think I could have. I just nod and sniffle some more.
“Oh god Syd...” He sighs. I can hear the fear and uncertainty in his voice as well. “Ok, ok.” He sighs, rubbing his forehead that now has those wrinkles that I adore. “Tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know.” I sob. “I really don’t... my dad just came up to me and told me to run. He said that Sloane knows and I have to leave before he gets to me. I asked if Sloane knew about him as well but he said that Sloane didn’t. So my Dad’s safe... god I just... I thought it was because of our date in Nice and I thought... I though what if he... you like...Da-“ I can’t finish. My sobs are choking me too hard. If I lost Vaughn I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t know if I could survive without him.
“Syd, its ok.” Vaughn assures me as he rubs my arms lovingly. I could so easily just collapse into his embrace right now. “Sloane doesn’t know about Nice does he?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so because, I mean, my dad hasn’t said anything so...”
“Okay.” He says calmly even though I can see in his eyes that he’s frantic. “Ok we need... we need to get you safe. Witness protection.”
“No.” I say firmly.
“But Syd...” He protests.
“No, I don’t want to live another life Vaughn. I don’t want to take on another identity. I won’t.” I say. I know I sound like as stubborn four year old but I don’t care.
“You’re going to run?” He asks.
I nod. I don’t want to leave anyone. Not Will or Francie.... not my father... not Vaughn... but as I see it, I don’t have much of a choice. “I... I don’t know where to go.” I say. It’s the truth. That’s why I called him; I have no idea.
“Okay.... there is a cabin I know of we can go-“
“We?” I interrupt him. He can’t mean that.
Vaughn nods. “If you run Syd, I run with you.”
“No, Vaughn.” I protest. Yes, I want him to come but I don’t want him to give up his life just for me.
“I’m coming Syd. You can’t run alone.”
“Yes I can.” I protest.
“Ok, you can. But I won’t let you.” He tells me. I look in his eyes and I can’t believe what I see. I see truth. I see... love.
“Vaughn... you...” I begin but I can’t protest anymore. I just nod. “Thank you.”
He smiles. “Don’t mention it.” He says as he walks over to the small table in the warehouse and takes out his cell phone and puts it down.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“A satellite could track us using that.” He says. I nod, knowing he’s right, and I put my phone down next to his.
“Vaughn are you sure? I mean... you’ve got your job... your mom... your whole life... I...” I sigh as I look down at my feet, knowing what he’s giving up just for me.
He takes his hand and glides it under my chin, tilting my head up so that I can look at him. “I’m sure.” He says. “When they find this stuff... they’ll know we’ve gone.”
“Okay.” I nod as a tear escapes from my eye. “Where are we going?”
“Canada.” He says. Then he begins to pat his pockets down. “My phone...”
“You just put it on the table.” I laugh. He gets an embarrassed look on his face and picks it up to dial. Once he arranges us a flight and transportation once we’re in Canada he puts the phone back next to mine.
“Do you have a bag in your car?” He asks. I nod. “Okay, you ready?”
“Do I have a choice?” I ask rhetorically. He just looks at me sympathetically before we walk out of the warehouse. I grab my bag, put it in his car, and we drive off to the airport together. It’s strange because I’ve never been able to be in public with him like this... it’s strange, but good.
Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
As we get on the private jet my hands begin to tremble and I get butterflies in my stomach. Vaughn grabs my hand and squeezes it reassuringly. I give him a small smile as he tells me that everything will be ok. I want to believe him, I do, it’s just....
I’ve tired to hold it in as long as I can, but as the plane takes off I begin to sob. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Vaughn asks softly with concern.
“I just... I’m so scared.” I sob. I’ve never really said that out loud before, at least not in my adult life. I’ve always seen that as being a weakness I never want to admit to but with him, yeah I’ll say it. I want him to know everything about me because he already does, almost. “I’m scared of the Alliance... what if they find us and... and...”
“Shh Syd, it’s ok. You don’t have to be afraid, not while I’m here. I won’t let anything happen.” He says in a soothing voice as he holds my hand. I try to smile and I’m sure that I look like a dork because of my running make up but honestly, I’m too tired to care.
“Why are you doing this Vaughn?” I ask quietly.
“I’d do anything for you.” He smiles. This time I know I’m smiling back. Tell me that you love me. That’s what I want to say; but I won’t. “Why don’t you try to sleep? We’ll be flying a few hours.” He tells me.
I nod wearily and slide down in my seat so that my head is resting comfortably on his shoulder and my body lined up against his. “Is it ok if I sleep like this?” I ask quietly. My eyes are becoming immediately heavy at the warmth of his body and they linger closed as I blink.
“Sure.” He sighs. Then I remember no more as I drift off to sleep.
Be
Be the one i need
Be the one i trust most
“Syd.” He says. I mumble something. “Syd.” He says again, this time nudging me slightly. “We landed.”
“Okay.” I mumble. I open my eyes and it takes a few moments for the sleep to disappear. Now I’m fully alert and grabbing my small bag as we walk down the steps and down onto the tarmac. I shiver; the air is cool. “Where are we?”
“Ontario.” He says. “We’ve still got a few hour drive until we reach the cabin though.” He tells me as he opens the passenger side of the black SUV parked a few feet from the plane. I slide in and watch as he walks around and puts our bags in the back of the car. Then he gets into the drivers side, turns the key and the engine revs to life. The second he begins to drive away I blush as I remember the dream I was just having. I look out the passenger window and hope he doesn’t see the crimson color of my cheeks. I was dreaming about him. Ok, I admit it, this wasn’t a very ‘G’ rated dream. It’s certainly not the first time I’ve dreamt of him that way. Usually I wake up moaning... oh god, did I moan? Did he hear me? Oh god... oh god... I shut my eyes and hope this mortal embarrassment passes soon.
I'm so sorry that i'm falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep but when I wake the sun is beginning to rise and I can see trees whizzing past the windows. I yawn as I look over at Vaughn. “Morning sleepyhead.” He grins.
“Hey... how long was I asleep?” I ask. My voice is slightly scratchy and I try to clear my throat.
“About two hours. We should be there in about ten minutes now.” He says. I look out the window and through the thick trees I catch a glimpse of what appears to be water sparkling as the sun rises.
“Is this a lake?” I ask.
“Yep.” He smiles. I used to come here when I was a kid. My family owns this cabin.”
“Oh.” I nod. “That sounds nice.” A few minutes later I see driveways begin to appear sporadically in among the trees. Vaughn turns into one on the right and follows a narrow path through tall trees that’s rather bumpy. Finally I catch a glimpse of the house and gasp. “Oh it’s gorgeous.” I sigh.
“Yeah, it’s nice.” He smiles. I turn back to the house and admire it as we drive up to the garage. It’s two and a half stories with pale green siding that looks wonderful against the raw wood trim of the windows. I can see decks around the back as well as a dock that leads out onto the lake. Vaughn parks the car and I slide out as I stare up at the house still.
“This place is amazing.” I tell him.
“Yeah.” He smiles. “Wait till you see the inside.” I reach for my bag but he takes it and says that he’s got it. I smile at his chivalry and follow him up to the front of the house where he unlocks the door and let’s us inside. He was right; the inside is even more impressive. Exposed beams line the ceiling and beautiful hard wood lines the floors. It’s rustic yet homey and nice. It’s perfect. “Try not to drool Syd.” He winks. I laugh slightly as I realize my mouth is hanging agape as I take in the new surroundings.
“Sorry.” I mumble as I look over at him. He looks weary. “Vaughn you’ve been driving all night. Go take a nap.”
“You sure.” He asks. I nod and tell him I plan on exploring the house. He laughs and then trudges slowly up the stairs, bag over his shoulder. I begin the tour of the house on this floor. There is a kitchen, a sitting area with a two story vaulted ceiling, and a game room with a large pool table in it. Then I make my way up to the next floor where I find a large master suit and another sitting room. The master suit has a large bed with a white lace canopy and a matching white lace bedspread. There are also two French doors that lead out to a beautiful balcony looking out across the lake. I notice that Vaughn isn’t in this bed and I’m curious as to why.
I begin up the second flight of stairs and hear the soft sound of heavy breathing when I reach the landing. To my left there is a room that looks very much like that of an eight year old boy. Met’s pinups are on the wall as well as hockey jerseys and hockey pucks. I see Vaughn sprawled out on the bed with his head on a tiny pillow resembling a hockey puck. He looks absolutely adorable. I walk in the room, pick up a blanket from the floor and drape it over him since it is a little chilly in that room. I smile as I tuck the blanket around him. “I love you.” I whisper and then I bite my lip. I don’t know why I just said that but I did and it wasn’t scary at all.
My love for Vaughn is different than any other love I’ve felt before. It’s the strongest and truest thing I’ve ever known and the amazing thing is we’ve never even shared so much as a kiss. It was also one of those things that just hits you one day out of nowhere and runs you over like a truck. For me, it was the day he got sick from that big red Rambaldi ball we found in Taipai. When I heard how sick he was it just hit me. Like maybe he wouldn’t be there tomorrow and then the next day. What would I do? I had no idea. I became frantic and when I went to the hospital to take his blood that was the moment I knew. I was just in awe almost. Like my god I love him what am I going to do? I can’t loose him but I can’t be with him even if he’s here. I wasn’t sure how long I had loved Michael Vaughn but I knew that I loved him deeply. I also found heartache from that love immediately when I saw his Alice, his girlfriend.
Oh god, Alice.
I just thought of her. Is he still with her? I mean he’s here with me but... Suddenly I realize I’ve been standing here watching Vaughn sleep for over five minutes. Quickly I walk from the room and down two flights of stairs to the kitchen knowing that once Vaughn wakes I’ll have to ask him about Alice, something I’m not looking forward to at all.
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
A few hours later Vaughn comes down. I’m sitting on the couch, sipping some tea that I found in the kitchen, staring out at the soft ripples on the lake water. He flops down next to me without a word. “Vaughn, are you still with Alice?” I ask.
“What?” He gaps. I turn to look at him with a serious expression. “No, we broke up a few weeks ago, why?”
“Well I was just thinking she’d be pretty curious as to where you went.” I mumble into my mug of tea.
“Oh.” He sighs. “Yeah... no...”
“Was that bedroom the one you used as a child?” I ask. He looks at me curiously. “I told you I was going to explore the house.” I smile.
“Oh.” He laughs slightly. “Yeah it was... the master bedroom was always used by my parents. I guess I just didn’t think to go there.” He pauses for a few minutes before continuing. “We didn’t really come up here after my dad died.”
I avert my eyes to the window knowing that that is a sensitive subject between us. “Oh.” I sigh quietly. We sit in silence for a few moments. “This lake is really beautiful.” I say finally.
“Yeah it’s really peaceful here, that’s why I like it.” He says.
“Yeah.” I say. Suddenly we’ve fallen into awkwardness. Oh no, was this a mistake? We didn’t think this through. What happens now? Do Vaughn and I just stay together? And what about us? Surely we cannot be platonic forever. I know he doesn’t want it that way, or at least I hope so because I definitely don’t want it that way. But now, everything’s so complex.
Suddenly Vaughn gets up and walks to the kitchen; I watch him go. “So I wonder if there’s any food here. That could be a problem.” He laughs nervously. After checking the shelves he finds the same thing I did; nothing. “So this is a problem. I guess I’ll run to the local store. Is there anything you need?”
I give Vaughn a list of a few items before he leaves. Then, I walk outside and make my way out to the dock. The air is cool and I begin to shiver. Suddenly, I wish I had a jacket. Unfortunately there isn’t much call for winter clothing in Los Angels. I lean back against the railing of the dock and listen to the mesmerizing sound of the water lapping up against the wood.
I must have stood there for much longer than I realized because I suddenly feel a gentle hand on my shoulder and practically jump out of my skin. It’s Vaughn; he’s brought groceries. I go to follow him in the house but when I turn around I stop when I catch my first glimpse of the back side of the house. It’s even more stunning than the front with its many windows, balconies and glass doors.
Once inside I begin to examine the groceries he’s purchased. He didn’t buy much, only enough for a few days. I wonder if that’s because he didn’t want to stock up or because he only thinks we’ll be here for a few days.
“You wanna help me make something?” he smiles. His tone would suggest that he finds cooking fun. I, however, do not.
“Umm, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much help.” I cringe. “I really can’t cook.”
“You can’t cook?” He asks.
“Well I can microwave a potato and heat up a can of soup but that’s about the extent of it.” I say. Then I laugh at how pathetic I am. Seriously, when I say it out loud like that, it’s just plain sad. Vaughn laughs and promises to help me so I reluctantly agree, after all this could be fun right?
so here's the deal... this fic started out as a one parter but i got carried away (like usual) and it ended up being almost 10 thousand words which is kinda long for a one parter so im going to split it up into 3 parts for you ^_^
Remember how i said i liked writing first person in "The Letter" ? Well this is my only other first person written fic only this one only uses sydney's point of view
Title: Running (Using the lyrics from No Doubt's "Running" )
Genre: S/V, Flangst (thanks to Katy for teaching me this word
) but the angst is very minorTimeline: Season 2 post getaway but phase one never happened so just somewhere around there you'll see
Summary: Sloane finds out Syd is a double and she must go on the run
Running
Run
Running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side
In my life, there are many things to be afraid of. Every day I conquer new horrifying things and every day I find new things to fear. But there is one thing that I fear above all else and now that fear has been realized. Dread, uncertainty, terror, sadness... I feel all those things. I’m feeling so much right now that I’m not even sure I’m feeling at all.
I can’t sit so I get up and begin to pace. I walk the trail between the two chain link fences over and over again. It’s only about fifteen feet but I just keep going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...
Maybe if I walk it enough times then time will stop. All I want is just one moment. I need to catch my breath. I hear him coming. In his footsteps I find a little hope that maybe; just maybe things will be alright.
He slides open the door and I can’t help myself. I throw my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder as the first tears begin to fall. “Shhh, it’s ok.” He tells me. I know he’s confused; he doesn’t know what’s wrong. All I said in the message I left was that I needed to see him because it was urgent, nothing more. I want to tell him but I can’t speak; not yet anyway. I just want him to hold me for one more minute. I want to feel safe in his arms for just a little bit longer.
“Syd, what happened?” He asks me. I reluctantly slide out of his comforting embrace, wipe my cheeks and look up into the green eyes that I love.
“Sloane.” I choke out. “He... he knows.”
“Knows what?” Vaughn asks. “That you’re a double?”
Thank god he said it because I don’t think I could have. I just nod and sniffle some more.
“Oh god Syd...” He sighs. I can hear the fear and uncertainty in his voice as well. “Ok, ok.” He sighs, rubbing his forehead that now has those wrinkles that I adore. “Tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know.” I sob. “I really don’t... my dad just came up to me and told me to run. He said that Sloane knows and I have to leave before he gets to me. I asked if Sloane knew about him as well but he said that Sloane didn’t. So my Dad’s safe... god I just... I thought it was because of our date in Nice and I thought... I though what if he... you like...Da-“ I can’t finish. My sobs are choking me too hard. If I lost Vaughn I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t know if I could survive without him.
“Syd, its ok.” Vaughn assures me as he rubs my arms lovingly. I could so easily just collapse into his embrace right now. “Sloane doesn’t know about Nice does he?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so because, I mean, my dad hasn’t said anything so...”
“Okay.” He says calmly even though I can see in his eyes that he’s frantic. “Ok we need... we need to get you safe. Witness protection.”
“No.” I say firmly.
“But Syd...” He protests.
“No, I don’t want to live another life Vaughn. I don’t want to take on another identity. I won’t.” I say. I know I sound like as stubborn four year old but I don’t care.
“You’re going to run?” He asks.
I nod. I don’t want to leave anyone. Not Will or Francie.... not my father... not Vaughn... but as I see it, I don’t have much of a choice. “I... I don’t know where to go.” I say. It’s the truth. That’s why I called him; I have no idea.
“Okay.... there is a cabin I know of we can go-“
“We?” I interrupt him. He can’t mean that.
Vaughn nods. “If you run Syd, I run with you.”
“No, Vaughn.” I protest. Yes, I want him to come but I don’t want him to give up his life just for me.
“I’m coming Syd. You can’t run alone.”
“Yes I can.” I protest.
“Ok, you can. But I won’t let you.” He tells me. I look in his eyes and I can’t believe what I see. I see truth. I see... love.
“Vaughn... you...” I begin but I can’t protest anymore. I just nod. “Thank you.”
He smiles. “Don’t mention it.” He says as he walks over to the small table in the warehouse and takes out his cell phone and puts it down.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“A satellite could track us using that.” He says. I nod, knowing he’s right, and I put my phone down next to his.
“Vaughn are you sure? I mean... you’ve got your job... your mom... your whole life... I...” I sigh as I look down at my feet, knowing what he’s giving up just for me.
He takes his hand and glides it under my chin, tilting my head up so that I can look at him. “I’m sure.” He says. “When they find this stuff... they’ll know we’ve gone.”
“Okay.” I nod as a tear escapes from my eye. “Where are we going?”
“Canada.” He says. Then he begins to pat his pockets down. “My phone...”
“You just put it on the table.” I laugh. He gets an embarrassed look on his face and picks it up to dial. Once he arranges us a flight and transportation once we’re in Canada he puts the phone back next to mine.
“Do you have a bag in your car?” He asks. I nod. “Okay, you ready?”
“Do I have a choice?” I ask rhetorically. He just looks at me sympathetically before we walk out of the warehouse. I grab my bag, put it in his car, and we drive off to the airport together. It’s strange because I’ve never been able to be in public with him like this... it’s strange, but good.
Me
I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
As we get on the private jet my hands begin to tremble and I get butterflies in my stomach. Vaughn grabs my hand and squeezes it reassuringly. I give him a small smile as he tells me that everything will be ok. I want to believe him, I do, it’s just....
I’ve tired to hold it in as long as I can, but as the plane takes off I begin to sob. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Vaughn asks softly with concern.
“I just... I’m so scared.” I sob. I’ve never really said that out loud before, at least not in my adult life. I’ve always seen that as being a weakness I never want to admit to but with him, yeah I’ll say it. I want him to know everything about me because he already does, almost. “I’m scared of the Alliance... what if they find us and... and...”
“Shh Syd, it’s ok. You don’t have to be afraid, not while I’m here. I won’t let anything happen.” He says in a soothing voice as he holds my hand. I try to smile and I’m sure that I look like a dork because of my running make up but honestly, I’m too tired to care.
“Why are you doing this Vaughn?” I ask quietly.
“I’d do anything for you.” He smiles. This time I know I’m smiling back. Tell me that you love me. That’s what I want to say; but I won’t. “Why don’t you try to sleep? We’ll be flying a few hours.” He tells me.
I nod wearily and slide down in my seat so that my head is resting comfortably on his shoulder and my body lined up against his. “Is it ok if I sleep like this?” I ask quietly. My eyes are becoming immediately heavy at the warmth of his body and they linger closed as I blink.
“Sure.” He sighs. Then I remember no more as I drift off to sleep.
Be
Be the one i need
Be the one i trust most
“Syd.” He says. I mumble something. “Syd.” He says again, this time nudging me slightly. “We landed.”
“Okay.” I mumble. I open my eyes and it takes a few moments for the sleep to disappear. Now I’m fully alert and grabbing my small bag as we walk down the steps and down onto the tarmac. I shiver; the air is cool. “Where are we?”
“Ontario.” He says. “We’ve still got a few hour drive until we reach the cabin though.” He tells me as he opens the passenger side of the black SUV parked a few feet from the plane. I slide in and watch as he walks around and puts our bags in the back of the car. Then he gets into the drivers side, turns the key and the engine revs to life. The second he begins to drive away I blush as I remember the dream I was just having. I look out the passenger window and hope he doesn’t see the crimson color of my cheeks. I was dreaming about him. Ok, I admit it, this wasn’t a very ‘G’ rated dream. It’s certainly not the first time I’ve dreamt of him that way. Usually I wake up moaning... oh god, did I moan? Did he hear me? Oh god... oh god... I shut my eyes and hope this mortal embarrassment passes soon.
I'm so sorry that i'm falling
Help me up lets keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep but when I wake the sun is beginning to rise and I can see trees whizzing past the windows. I yawn as I look over at Vaughn. “Morning sleepyhead.” He grins.
“Hey... how long was I asleep?” I ask. My voice is slightly scratchy and I try to clear my throat.
“About two hours. We should be there in about ten minutes now.” He says. I look out the window and through the thick trees I catch a glimpse of what appears to be water sparkling as the sun rises.
“Is this a lake?” I ask.
“Yep.” He smiles. I used to come here when I was a kid. My family owns this cabin.”
“Oh.” I nod. “That sounds nice.” A few minutes later I see driveways begin to appear sporadically in among the trees. Vaughn turns into one on the right and follows a narrow path through tall trees that’s rather bumpy. Finally I catch a glimpse of the house and gasp. “Oh it’s gorgeous.” I sigh.
“Yeah, it’s nice.” He smiles. I turn back to the house and admire it as we drive up to the garage. It’s two and a half stories with pale green siding that looks wonderful against the raw wood trim of the windows. I can see decks around the back as well as a dock that leads out onto the lake. Vaughn parks the car and I slide out as I stare up at the house still.
“This place is amazing.” I tell him.
“Yeah.” He smiles. “Wait till you see the inside.” I reach for my bag but he takes it and says that he’s got it. I smile at his chivalry and follow him up to the front of the house where he unlocks the door and let’s us inside. He was right; the inside is even more impressive. Exposed beams line the ceiling and beautiful hard wood lines the floors. It’s rustic yet homey and nice. It’s perfect. “Try not to drool Syd.” He winks. I laugh slightly as I realize my mouth is hanging agape as I take in the new surroundings.
“Sorry.” I mumble as I look over at him. He looks weary. “Vaughn you’ve been driving all night. Go take a nap.”
“You sure.” He asks. I nod and tell him I plan on exploring the house. He laughs and then trudges slowly up the stairs, bag over his shoulder. I begin the tour of the house on this floor. There is a kitchen, a sitting area with a two story vaulted ceiling, and a game room with a large pool table in it. Then I make my way up to the next floor where I find a large master suit and another sitting room. The master suit has a large bed with a white lace canopy and a matching white lace bedspread. There are also two French doors that lead out to a beautiful balcony looking out across the lake. I notice that Vaughn isn’t in this bed and I’m curious as to why.
I begin up the second flight of stairs and hear the soft sound of heavy breathing when I reach the landing. To my left there is a room that looks very much like that of an eight year old boy. Met’s pinups are on the wall as well as hockey jerseys and hockey pucks. I see Vaughn sprawled out on the bed with his head on a tiny pillow resembling a hockey puck. He looks absolutely adorable. I walk in the room, pick up a blanket from the floor and drape it over him since it is a little chilly in that room. I smile as I tuck the blanket around him. “I love you.” I whisper and then I bite my lip. I don’t know why I just said that but I did and it wasn’t scary at all.
My love for Vaughn is different than any other love I’ve felt before. It’s the strongest and truest thing I’ve ever known and the amazing thing is we’ve never even shared so much as a kiss. It was also one of those things that just hits you one day out of nowhere and runs you over like a truck. For me, it was the day he got sick from that big red Rambaldi ball we found in Taipai. When I heard how sick he was it just hit me. Like maybe he wouldn’t be there tomorrow and then the next day. What would I do? I had no idea. I became frantic and when I went to the hospital to take his blood that was the moment I knew. I was just in awe almost. Like my god I love him what am I going to do? I can’t loose him but I can’t be with him even if he’s here. I wasn’t sure how long I had loved Michael Vaughn but I knew that I loved him deeply. I also found heartache from that love immediately when I saw his Alice, his girlfriend.
Oh god, Alice.
I just thought of her. Is he still with her? I mean he’s here with me but... Suddenly I realize I’ve been standing here watching Vaughn sleep for over five minutes. Quickly I walk from the room and down two flights of stairs to the kitchen knowing that once Vaughn wakes I’ll have to ask him about Alice, something I’m not looking forward to at all.
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
A few hours later Vaughn comes down. I’m sitting on the couch, sipping some tea that I found in the kitchen, staring out at the soft ripples on the lake water. He flops down next to me without a word. “Vaughn, are you still with Alice?” I ask.
“What?” He gaps. I turn to look at him with a serious expression. “No, we broke up a few weeks ago, why?”
“Well I was just thinking she’d be pretty curious as to where you went.” I mumble into my mug of tea.
“Oh.” He sighs. “Yeah... no...”
“Was that bedroom the one you used as a child?” I ask. He looks at me curiously. “I told you I was going to explore the house.” I smile.
“Oh.” He laughs slightly. “Yeah it was... the master bedroom was always used by my parents. I guess I just didn’t think to go there.” He pauses for a few minutes before continuing. “We didn’t really come up here after my dad died.”
I avert my eyes to the window knowing that that is a sensitive subject between us. “Oh.” I sigh quietly. We sit in silence for a few moments. “This lake is really beautiful.” I say finally.
“Yeah it’s really peaceful here, that’s why I like it.” He says.
“Yeah.” I say. Suddenly we’ve fallen into awkwardness. Oh no, was this a mistake? We didn’t think this through. What happens now? Do Vaughn and I just stay together? And what about us? Surely we cannot be platonic forever. I know he doesn’t want it that way, or at least I hope so because I definitely don’t want it that way. But now, everything’s so complex.
Suddenly Vaughn gets up and walks to the kitchen; I watch him go. “So I wonder if there’s any food here. That could be a problem.” He laughs nervously. After checking the shelves he finds the same thing I did; nothing. “So this is a problem. I guess I’ll run to the local store. Is there anything you need?”
I give Vaughn a list of a few items before he leaves. Then, I walk outside and make my way out to the dock. The air is cool and I begin to shiver. Suddenly, I wish I had a jacket. Unfortunately there isn’t much call for winter clothing in Los Angels. I lean back against the railing of the dock and listen to the mesmerizing sound of the water lapping up against the wood.
I must have stood there for much longer than I realized because I suddenly feel a gentle hand on my shoulder and practically jump out of my skin. It’s Vaughn; he’s brought groceries. I go to follow him in the house but when I turn around I stop when I catch my first glimpse of the back side of the house. It’s even more stunning than the front with its many windows, balconies and glass doors.
Once inside I begin to examine the groceries he’s purchased. He didn’t buy much, only enough for a few days. I wonder if that’s because he didn’t want to stock up or because he only thinks we’ll be here for a few days.
“You wanna help me make something?” he smiles. His tone would suggest that he finds cooking fun. I, however, do not.
“Umm, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much help.” I cringe. “I really can’t cook.”
“You can’t cook?” He asks.
“Well I can microwave a potato and heat up a can of soup but that’s about the extent of it.” I say. Then I laugh at how pathetic I am. Seriously, when I say it out loud like that, it’s just plain sad. Vaughn laughs and promises to help me so I reluctantly agree, after all this could be fun right?
(awesome). I really really really like this fic so can I get a PM, please? 