Summer Fall

I heard a loud thump. The loud sound echoed through my head and made my ears ring to the point that my head pounded. It made my head ache. I felt cold, as if I were lying in the snow, although I knew I wasn't because it was summertime. Then everything that I felt replayed through my mind over and over again. I saw myself falling until my mind went blank and all I saw was black. I lied there on the ground until I awoke to my friends laughing up above me. I lied there confused, motionless, scared because of what was beside me. What was this?
 
hey daisy its good but u did it twise by excedent lol and why did you do the quote lol it needs to be longer but wow!! ur good mine sucks compared to urs lol but yea so it was good and i want more more more cuz the bgining was interesting already lol and it was like 5 sent. long lol :D
 
Interesting. :smiley:

Lol a lot of people posted it twice. Just press the button once, and no matter how slow it is, trust me. It will work. ^_^
 
My friends and I all planned to spend the night outside in a tent, right next door to my house. I made sure to ask my mother before I did so. I ran into my house to ask permission, my mother was on the phone. I eagerly waited to get my reply, but of coarse she said no. Only for one reason, which was I had to wake up early the next morning for a soccer game. I walked outside with disappointment, and then told my friends the bad news.
I placed my pillow under my blanket and fluffed it up. I tried to form it in the shape of my body so it looked as if, it was me under the blankets and not a pillow. I glanced at my clock; it read "12:00 a.m." I wanted to be sure, not to be back too late; otherwise my mom would be furious if I was tried in the morning. I pushed against my window with all my might to open it. All the sudden it popped right open and made a big squeak. As I stepped outside onto the roof, I felt the warm breeze push lightly against my face. Above me was a bright moon that light up the sky and the stars twinkled like water when it’s sunny. I quickly crept towards the corner of my roof; down below me were my three friends waving happily********** Hey people sorry about the mess up last time I don't know how to work this thing. Anyways, my story is very short since I wrote it in school. I'm just trying to get used to doing this right now. I promise I will make better and longer stories*******
 
Then that’s when I slipped and everything went black. I woke up to my friends giggling. They were standing by me but couldn't see the horror I saw. There I laid motionless because of what I had seen. I was the only one that had seen it, no one, else, no one in the whole world. I kept screaming over and over in my mind. I ask myself what happened? How could this be? Questions ran through my mind, all that I could not answer. I wasn't in pain anymore, I was so scared I could not feel, I could not breath. But something made me stand and run and keep on running. Behind me I heard nothing but loud pitchy screams from my friends. That moment I knew something changed who I was.
 
Hey people! I said before how this is a true story but I changed it around so it’s not true anymore. I want to know what you guys think about my story; I haven't got any responses really on it. PLEASE, tell what you think about it. Even if you think this story is bad so far, tell me I can take it (constructive criticism), it’s a way to improve my writing. PLEASE tell me what you think!

Daisy
P.S. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
 
nobody said anything to start with I wanna no if people like it. Then if they do I'll write more.
I am getting tried of writing on here cuz noone says anything.
 
I just kept running until I got to the point I could no longer breath and then I stopped. Only one thought went through my head which was the sight of death. Never in my life did I expect this to happen to me. I had seen a little boy one day and the next he is dead. I mean, gone forever, nevr to be alvive again, in heaven. He was DEAD!
 
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