Next chap-
so when we last left off vaughn was having a wonderful dream. he and the boys were "working girls" and were arrested and thought they were left to die in prison. luckly he woke up right as something was about to happen (dont remember what) so syd is there comforting him and thats where we pick up-
- vaughn! are you alright?
- huh? what happen? where am i?
-oh hell no you better not have amnesia?
-huh what are you talkin about syd?
-oh thank god you remember my name!
-why wouldnt i remember your name?
- i dont know anyways did you have a scary dream my honey bunch?
-uh yeah. it was the weirdest thing ever and a bit scary.
-do you want to tell me about it?
-well not really cause it will give you nightmares til eternity.
-oh whatever just tell me already! who do you think i am anyways?
-oh your right ok...but you are giong to have the ba Jesus scared out of you!
-ahmm. right! we'll see about that!
-ok so as i started to dream, it was like every other mission debriefing. the whole gang was there, well except you and lauren of course. argh!! i dont ever want to say or hear ass moles name again. so anyways, uh dixon was telling us about this mission where the boys and i had to go downtown to this street corner where you know...(syd cuts in)
-oh really? hmm interesting. and so what happen?
-well we had to hunt down this dude, who wasnt dressed like a dude if you know what i mean. so he had a rambaldi artifact that we needed to find and in order for this mission to be a success the boys and i had to...uh..are you ready for this?...we had to dress up. yeah we had to dress up.
-(begins to bust out laughing) HA.HA...HA..HA!! omg no way?! oh god i would have paid money to see that!! haha!! my dad and you and....SLAONE all dressed in drag! oh thats too funny! although i bet sloane looked pretty hot in a low rise shirt and high mini. damn!
-(vaughn nudges her and looks at her like she better be kidding) uh you arent serious?! i pray to god you are kidding!
-oh lighten up will you! i know you looked like a pretty little school girl! im sure all the men driving by were stopping for you!
-oh why the hell did i bother to tell you this?
-oh im sorry princess! ok so continue.
-right.. where was i...right so we all arrived at the corner and blended in quite well....dont say anything!....and we waited for this guy to show up but we didnt last that long.
-why what happen? did some one have wardrobe malfunction?
-um..NO! the cops showed up!
-HAHAHA!! no way!! oh man thats...(looks at vaughn who is not happy by her response)..thats..terrible!
-yeah it was and so all of us were cuffed and taken off to the big house.
-oh honey im sorry! here let mommy give you a kiss.
-yeah you should of seen your father and sloane. oh boy they werent happy at all.
-hehe!! i bet! so what happen next?
-we were put in a cell with a bunch of dirty unshaven hairy men who scared the s*** out of us! Marshall thought they were going to jump him.
-oh poor marshall. i bet he was peed his pants! or should i say skirt. hehe!! get it?!
-thats not funny!
-right sorry!
-so we were in there for i dont know how long..a long time though and weiss was getting hungry as always and was complaining that his stomach was growling but the gaurds werent going to feed us so we all thought we were going to die in there and noone including you or dixon would know what happen and i would never get to see your beautiful face again!
-oh sweetie thats so sweet!
-yeah it was complete terror! we were all scared to death! sloane was tryin to pick fights with the other inmates. he wasnt makin things any easier and oh your dad. he was just sitting there sipping on his vodak. totally unaware to what was going on. and i had to comfort marshall. he was a total mess.
-wow it sounds exciting. so what happen next?
-hmm! i dont know. i think thats when i realize i was goin to die and woke up.
-oh babe its alright! althought it sounds like one hell of an adventure. im glad i wasnt in the dream!
-yeah you probably would have kick some major ass and made us men look like total wussies!
-hehe!! yeah i would have! well its just a dream and now your back save with me and everything is goin to be just fine!
-i sure hope so! i cant experience any more nightmares today!
-or not ever! i wont let you out of my sight!
and the two lovey dovey duo kiss pasionaitely and hold each other for the rest of the flight home.
-oh i almost forgot what happen to sark and laruen? i forgot to ask you how on earth you manage to escape them?
-uh you dont want to know? ill let you all about it when we get back to LA and after i have had a nice long bubble bath and a few drinks.
-ok sounds like a plan. as long as i can jump in with you!
ill post more tomorrow or the next day.
so when we last left off vaughn was having a wonderful dream. he and the boys were "working girls" and were arrested and thought they were left to die in prison. luckly he woke up right as something was about to happen (dont remember what) so syd is there comforting him and thats where we pick up-
- vaughn! are you alright?
- huh? what happen? where am i?
-oh hell no you better not have amnesia?
-huh what are you talkin about syd?
-oh thank god you remember my name!
-why wouldnt i remember your name?
- i dont know anyways did you have a scary dream my honey bunch?
-uh yeah. it was the weirdest thing ever and a bit scary.
-do you want to tell me about it?
-well not really cause it will give you nightmares til eternity.
-oh whatever just tell me already! who do you think i am anyways?
-oh your right ok...but you are giong to have the ba Jesus scared out of you!
-ahmm. right! we'll see about that!
-ok so as i started to dream, it was like every other mission debriefing. the whole gang was there, well except you and lauren of course. argh!! i dont ever want to say or hear ass moles name again. so anyways, uh dixon was telling us about this mission where the boys and i had to go downtown to this street corner where you know...(syd cuts in)
-oh really? hmm interesting. and so what happen?
-well we had to hunt down this dude, who wasnt dressed like a dude if you know what i mean. so he had a rambaldi artifact that we needed to find and in order for this mission to be a success the boys and i had to...uh..are you ready for this?...we had to dress up. yeah we had to dress up.
-(begins to bust out laughing) HA.HA...HA..HA!! omg no way?! oh god i would have paid money to see that!! haha!! my dad and you and....SLAONE all dressed in drag! oh thats too funny! although i bet sloane looked pretty hot in a low rise shirt and high mini. damn!
-(vaughn nudges her and looks at her like she better be kidding) uh you arent serious?! i pray to god you are kidding!
-oh lighten up will you! i know you looked like a pretty little school girl! im sure all the men driving by were stopping for you!
-oh why the hell did i bother to tell you this?
-oh im sorry princess! ok so continue.
-right.. where was i...right so we all arrived at the corner and blended in quite well....dont say anything!....and we waited for this guy to show up but we didnt last that long.
-why what happen? did some one have wardrobe malfunction?
-um..NO! the cops showed up!
-HAHAHA!! no way!! oh man thats...(looks at vaughn who is not happy by her response)..thats..terrible!
-yeah it was and so all of us were cuffed and taken off to the big house.
-oh honey im sorry! here let mommy give you a kiss.
-yeah you should of seen your father and sloane. oh boy they werent happy at all.
-hehe!! i bet! so what happen next?
-we were put in a cell with a bunch of dirty unshaven hairy men who scared the s*** out of us! Marshall thought they were going to jump him.
-oh poor marshall. i bet he was peed his pants! or should i say skirt. hehe!! get it?!
-thats not funny!
-right sorry!
-so we were in there for i dont know how long..a long time though and weiss was getting hungry as always and was complaining that his stomach was growling but the gaurds werent going to feed us so we all thought we were going to die in there and noone including you or dixon would know what happen and i would never get to see your beautiful face again!
-oh sweetie thats so sweet!
-yeah it was complete terror! we were all scared to death! sloane was tryin to pick fights with the other inmates. he wasnt makin things any easier and oh your dad. he was just sitting there sipping on his vodak. totally unaware to what was going on. and i had to comfort marshall. he was a total mess.
-wow it sounds exciting. so what happen next?
-hmm! i dont know. i think thats when i realize i was goin to die and woke up.
-oh babe its alright! althought it sounds like one hell of an adventure. im glad i wasnt in the dream!
-yeah you probably would have kick some major ass and made us men look like total wussies!
-hehe!! yeah i would have! well its just a dream and now your back save with me and everything is goin to be just fine!
-i sure hope so! i cant experience any more nightmares today!
-or not ever! i wont let you out of my sight!
and the two lovey dovey duo kiss pasionaitely and hold each other for the rest of the flight home.
-oh i almost forgot what happen to sark and laruen? i forgot to ask you how on earth you manage to escape them?
-uh you dont want to know? ill let you all about it when we get back to LA and after i have had a nice long bubble bath and a few drinks.
-ok sounds like a plan. as long as i can jump in with you!
ill post more tomorrow or the next day.
ok this is for you shelby- my one and only reader all by her lonesome-
enjoy!
next chap-
meanwhile back in Amish country there are two deranged drunk blondes on the lose harassing the poor Amish.
-so sarky poo where on earth did you get those pants?
-oh well actually its the coolest thing a little girl gave them to me.
-a girl just handed them over to you? hmm?
-yeah isnt it strange!
- no you probably beat the poor girl to the ground for them.
-yeah..haha..your right! stupid chick! she wouldnt hand them over so i kicked her ass! (points down to his pants) arent they beautiful? dont you love the color?
-oh sark im dissapointed in you! i thought those anger managment classes solved your outrage but apparently they didnt! well theres 200$ down the drain! i guess you will be buyin dinner from now on.
by the way i love the color! let me try them on.
-no they're mine and the color is the pretty sparkly, hot pink ive ever since! i think they bring out my eyes! dont you think?
-(lauren gives sark a dirty look) yeah they really make your blues eyes stand out! i think you should wear them all the time. that is if i dont steal them from you!
-well that wont happen! cause you are too fat for them, you ugly cow!! hehe!!
-what did you say you cocky bastard?! thats it! im done with you!
im going back to LA to retreive vaughn and make him pay for all he has done!
-ha good luck!! you are too dumb to get him back and he is probably in the middle of marring that broad! ugh! im suppose to be with syd not him! he doesnt deserve her! he cant fullfil her needs! only a man like me can do that! i got the pants to prove it!
-oh im sure syd would love to see you in those! i think those pants would really do the trick.
-thats it i got to get the hell out of this place! if i step in one more pile of horse poo im goin to kill someone! and i may start with you!
-you need a nother drink! and when we get back to LA im sending you back to anger managment!
-hell no i cant go back to that place! those men scare me! they threaten me and follow me to the potty and threaten to kick my ass! please im not goin back!
-well then you need to find away to deal with your anger!
-ok mommy ill behave i promise!
-good! now i need to find a car!
-good luck. how bout a buggie?
-oh no im not goin to be caught dead on one of those!
-well if you want to get out this insane place it looks like the only ride out.
-fine ok but it better be clean! i didnt bring my santitary wipes with me and if end up developing some killer disease then im suing!
-oh please will you shut up!! wheres that vodak?
-i drank it all!
-well get some more cause im gonna need it!
-no there is no time for drinking! we need to hurry and get back to LA.
-whatever lets go flag down a buggie.
and the two head off to begin their long painful journey back to california.
TBA......
enjoy!
next chap-
meanwhile back in Amish country there are two deranged drunk blondes on the lose harassing the poor Amish.
-so sarky poo where on earth did you get those pants?
-oh well actually its the coolest thing a little girl gave them to me.
-a girl just handed them over to you? hmm?
-yeah isnt it strange!
- no you probably beat the poor girl to the ground for them.
-yeah..haha..your right! stupid chick! she wouldnt hand them over so i kicked her ass! (points down to his pants) arent they beautiful? dont you love the color?
-oh sark im dissapointed in you! i thought those anger managment classes solved your outrage but apparently they didnt! well theres 200$ down the drain! i guess you will be buyin dinner from now on.
by the way i love the color! let me try them on.
-no they're mine and the color is the pretty sparkly, hot pink ive ever since! i think they bring out my eyes! dont you think?
-(lauren gives sark a dirty look) yeah they really make your blues eyes stand out! i think you should wear them all the time. that is if i dont steal them from you!
-well that wont happen! cause you are too fat for them, you ugly cow!! hehe!!
-what did you say you cocky bastard?! thats it! im done with you!
im going back to LA to retreive vaughn and make him pay for all he has done!
-ha good luck!! you are too dumb to get him back and he is probably in the middle of marring that broad! ugh! im suppose to be with syd not him! he doesnt deserve her! he cant fullfil her needs! only a man like me can do that! i got the pants to prove it!
-oh im sure syd would love to see you in those! i think those pants would really do the trick.
-thats it i got to get the hell out of this place! if i step in one more pile of horse poo im goin to kill someone! and i may start with you!
-you need a nother drink! and when we get back to LA im sending you back to anger managment!
-hell no i cant go back to that place! those men scare me! they threaten me and follow me to the potty and threaten to kick my ass! please im not goin back!
-well then you need to find away to deal with your anger!
-ok mommy ill behave i promise!
-good! now i need to find a car!
-good luck. how bout a buggie?
-oh no im not goin to be caught dead on one of those!
-well if you want to get out this insane place it looks like the only ride out.
-fine ok but it better be clean! i didnt bring my santitary wipes with me and if end up developing some killer disease then im suing!
-oh please will you shut up!! wheres that vodak?
-i drank it all!
-well get some more cause im gonna need it!
-no there is no time for drinking! we need to hurry and get back to LA.
-whatever lets go flag down a buggie.
and the two head off to begin their long painful journey back to california.
TBA......
perviously i believe syd recused vaughn and are back safe and sound tryin to figure out how vaughn escaped the evil duo, jack, dixon, marshall, sloane and weiss all went on an adventure and have been MIA.
i think thats where we are now.
CIA office-
d- weiss have you seen jack?
w-uh...no not since our....um you know... mission. why is something wrong?
d- uh not really just need his imput on some intel i retrieved.
w- alrighty well if i see him ill tell him to pay you a visit.
d- ok man sounds good.
dixon runs off into the sunset. no not really but runs off to where ever he always disappears to.
meanwhile syd and vaughn are tryin to work on finding a lead on the drunken duo as they are still somewhere in the eastern portion of the US.
-Vaughn do you remember hearing sark or lauren talking about where they might be headed or any clues for that matter that could lead us to them?
-im afraid not. i was more concerned with focusing on not hitting any cows.
-uh? what cows?
-oh its a long story. anyways, i would imagine they are still in PA or have amazingly discovered a way to drive us crazy by sending us on a wild goose chase.
-uh Blondie- in case you have forgotten we are on a wild goose chase! we're always on one! and you certainly dont help! hmm im going to find marshall and see if he has found any clues.
-ok sweet cheeks im just going to sit here and stare into my computer screen and look like im doing something constructive.
-ok you do that. (she gives him a little kiss on the forehead and walks off to marshall's lab)
marshalls lab
syd walks in and notices marshall is chilling to music
-hey marshal!! (syd taps him on the shoulder)
-oh hey syd! sorry i wasnt singing out loud was i?
-uh im afraid so but you have a beautiful singing voice and that song rocks!
-oh yeah dont you love (thinks of a song we know marshall would listen to) outkast! (begins to sing) roses really smell like poo hoo hoo. yeah roses really smell like poo hoo hoo. Caroline… she’s the reason for the word...b****……. crazy b****. stupid ass b****.(however it goes, cant you see marhsall singing that? hehe)
-yeah marhsall great song. anyways i need your help....ha why else would i come to see you? we cant find sark or lauren and im hoping you know something or anything that could help us out.
-well im sorry to disapoint you syd but i have nothing. nada!.... zip!
-damn it! how can we have nothing?
-well thats very simple. your loser boyfriend sucks at his job and didnt supply us with any info why he was so called kidnapped by sark and lauren.
-hey ok there is no need for the dising of vaughn! i know he is a crumy agent but he treats me well...ok some of the time but i love him and....anyways so we got nothing?!
-yeah.
-hmmm? think syd think.
-theres got to be something.
-oh i know ill get my magic 8 ball and ask it what we should do. (props to i think Gab for the idea)
(syd runs off to her desk to pull out our 8 ball freind. Vaughn is still staring at his computer)
syd returns with 8 ball in hand
-ok marshall this my friend is the worlds greatest invention!
-really the magic 8 ball?! i beg to differ but we dont have time!
-ok so what are you goin to ask it?
-hmm? im goin to ask it, oh by the way it has a name.
-haha!! you named the 8 ball?!
-yes i did! and its name is george.
-hi george pleasure to meet you. im marshall! oh let me show you a pic of my guy. this is mitch! hes my boy! aww!
(syd looks up at marshall and he shuts up)
-sorry got carried away. where were we?
-ok im goin to ask george if sark and lauren are....really siblings?
-what?! who cares if they are and ew!! hey george does lauren love me? please say yes!
-MARSHALL!!! arent you married and you dont want lauren!! she is a criminal! Remember?
-oh right! duh!
-ok george does vaughn still love me? (george says...ask again later)
-what the hell!! wrong answer george!
-uh arent we suppose to be asking about the where abouts of sark and lauren?
- oh right sorry marhsall! i just had to ask.
-right... now.... are sark and lauren in CA? (george says...no)
-ok so they arent in ca. hmm where could they be?
-uh if i were sark i would be sitting on the beach in hawaii watching lauren run up and down the beach in a two peice and be sipping on one of those fruit drinks with the toys in it.
-oh why do i bother to drag you into this! i got to find my father. he is the only one with some sense in him.
(marshall remains sitting in his chair daydreaming about sitting on the beach)
-see you later marshall! i wouldnt tell carrie about your little fantasies.
-oh bye syd! have fun with george!
(syd walks out leaving marshall alone)
syd leaves in search of jack who is still MIA at this point. although he is probably sitting in a car in the parklot of the CIA instant messaging irina.
and thats the end of that chap.
i think thats where we are now.
CIA office-
d- weiss have you seen jack?
w-uh...no not since our....um you know... mission. why is something wrong?
d- uh not really just need his imput on some intel i retrieved.
w- alrighty well if i see him ill tell him to pay you a visit.
d- ok man sounds good.
dixon runs off into the sunset. no not really but runs off to where ever he always disappears to.
meanwhile syd and vaughn are tryin to work on finding a lead on the drunken duo as they are still somewhere in the eastern portion of the US.
-Vaughn do you remember hearing sark or lauren talking about where they might be headed or any clues for that matter that could lead us to them?
-im afraid not. i was more concerned with focusing on not hitting any cows.
-uh? what cows?
-oh its a long story. anyways, i would imagine they are still in PA or have amazingly discovered a way to drive us crazy by sending us on a wild goose chase.
-uh Blondie- in case you have forgotten we are on a wild goose chase! we're always on one! and you certainly dont help! hmm im going to find marshall and see if he has found any clues.
-ok sweet cheeks im just going to sit here and stare into my computer screen and look like im doing something constructive.
-ok you do that. (she gives him a little kiss on the forehead and walks off to marshall's lab)
marshalls lab
syd walks in and notices marshall is chilling to music
-hey marshal!! (syd taps him on the shoulder)
-oh hey syd! sorry i wasnt singing out loud was i?
-uh im afraid so but you have a beautiful singing voice and that song rocks!
-oh yeah dont you love (thinks of a song we know marshall would listen to) outkast! (begins to sing) roses really smell like poo hoo hoo. yeah roses really smell like poo hoo hoo. Caroline… she’s the reason for the word...b****……. crazy b****. stupid ass b****.(however it goes, cant you see marhsall singing that? hehe)
-yeah marhsall great song. anyways i need your help....ha why else would i come to see you? we cant find sark or lauren and im hoping you know something or anything that could help us out.
-well im sorry to disapoint you syd but i have nothing. nada!.... zip!
-damn it! how can we have nothing?
-well thats very simple. your loser boyfriend sucks at his job and didnt supply us with any info why he was so called kidnapped by sark and lauren.
-hey ok there is no need for the dising of vaughn! i know he is a crumy agent but he treats me well...ok some of the time but i love him and....anyways so we got nothing?!
-yeah.
-hmmm? think syd think.
-theres got to be something.
-oh i know ill get my magic 8 ball and ask it what we should do. (props to i think Gab for the idea)
(syd runs off to her desk to pull out our 8 ball freind. Vaughn is still staring at his computer)
syd returns with 8 ball in hand
-ok marshall this my friend is the worlds greatest invention!
-really the magic 8 ball?! i beg to differ but we dont have time!
-ok so what are you goin to ask it?
-hmm? im goin to ask it, oh by the way it has a name.
-haha!! you named the 8 ball?!
-yes i did! and its name is george.
-hi george pleasure to meet you. im marshall! oh let me show you a pic of my guy. this is mitch! hes my boy! aww!
(syd looks up at marshall and he shuts up)
-sorry got carried away. where were we?
-ok im goin to ask george if sark and lauren are....really siblings?
-what?! who cares if they are and ew!! hey george does lauren love me? please say yes!
-MARSHALL!!! arent you married and you dont want lauren!! she is a criminal! Remember?
-oh right! duh!
-ok george does vaughn still love me? (george says...ask again later)
-what the hell!! wrong answer george!
-uh arent we suppose to be asking about the where abouts of sark and lauren?
- oh right sorry marhsall! i just had to ask.
-right... now.... are sark and lauren in CA? (george says...no)
-ok so they arent in ca. hmm where could they be?
-uh if i were sark i would be sitting on the beach in hawaii watching lauren run up and down the beach in a two peice and be sipping on one of those fruit drinks with the toys in it.
-oh why do i bother to drag you into this! i got to find my father. he is the only one with some sense in him.
(marshall remains sitting in his chair daydreaming about sitting on the beach)
-see you later marshall! i wouldnt tell carrie about your little fantasies.
-oh bye syd! have fun with george!
(syd walks out leaving marshall alone)
syd leaves in search of jack who is still MIA at this point. although he is probably sitting in a car in the parklot of the CIA instant messaging irina.
and thats the end of that chap.
jack is sitting in his car parked in the garage of the CIA instant messaging irina. jack also is dressed in disguise wearing a long curly red wig, large jackie o sunglasses and a fringy 80ish style dress.
jack begins to chat with irina.
loverboy47- puppy lover seeking mommy dog
mary popins101- well, well its nice to hear from you so soon.
loverboy47- yeah you too. i was hoping you had intel for me.
mary popins101- cant you tell me how much you miss me?
loverboy47- i dont have time for romance. i was hoping you could tell me what you know.
mary popins101- but i dont know any more then you know.
loverboy47- hmm? i know you know more then i know. you always know more.
mary popins101- damn it i dont have time for you i know what games. how is our daugther?
loverboy47- she is doing just fine. still with that bone head though. im trying to get her to dump him but she swears he is the one.
mary popins101- oh let her be. as long as she is happy. anyways i miss you and our daughter.
loverboy47- right! you never miss me! you only want me for one thing and one thing only!
mary popins101- and what would that be?
loverboy47- do i need to really tell you? look i really cant be long. im wearing this rediculous costum and i dont want to be seen in it.
mary popins101- well now you have me wondering what in the world mr bristow is wearing.
loverboy47- and you will never find out! damn it someone is coming i must not be seen.
mary popins101- uh my love how will anyone know its you if you are in disguise? hmm?
loverboy47- uh..good point. i dont know. oh duh..my car!
mary popins101- cause your car will give it away.
loverboy47- oh sh*t its sydney! she is coming right towards me. i got to hide. ill lock doors and hide in the back seat. yeah good plan!
mary popins101- um...your windows arent tinted. syd will see you.
loverboy47- how do you know why windows arent tinted?
mary popins101- cause i have seen your car before.
loverboy47- ok i got to go like now! syd is looking through my window yelling at me to get the hell out of her dads car! she doesnt recognize me. oh thank god i can play this off.
mary popins101- have fun explaining this to your daugther. talk to you later.
and jack gets out of the car in complete terror.
-who the hell are you and what are you doing in agent bristows car?
-(jack in the greatest womans voice answers) clears throat- well i can explain. mr. bristow asked me to park his car for him after i droped him off to pick up his dry cleaning.
-and where is he now and why doesnt he have his dry cleaning in his car?
-uh he got beeped for a meeting. very important. now if you excuse me im going to be late for my wax.
-wait a minute those wiskers, i know them.
(jack begins to freak, he knows he has been made) - uh i beg your pardon? im getting them waxed today. it sucks growing old. you start to grow hair where its never grown before.
-hmmm? something else doesnt fit. those broad shoulders i know them.
-no im sorry i work out.
-no let me see. (rips off his wig) HOLY SH*T DAD!!! WHAT?...HUH? OH GOD PLEASE DONT TELL ME YOU HAVE BECOME A WOMAN?!
-sydney no! its not what you think?
-dad! i dont know what to say! god! i thought after the drag mission you would never be seen in womans clothing again but apparently i was wrong!
-syd no!! listen! i was tryin to communicate with your mother and so i had to disguise myself in case i was noticed! im not turning into a woman! i swear!
-oh thank god dad!! you had me worried! god please dont ever wear that wig or that god awful dress ever again!!
-oh but i kind of like the dress! i feel...i feel...sexy!
(syd rolls her eyes and hits jack upside his head)
-im kidding!! geez you need to ligthen up! how bout drinks and maybe some chinese and we can disgus your relationship with vaughn? how is he doing anyways? i hope he isnt heart broken over lauren.
-dad shut up!! geez what is wrong with you?
-nothing. cant i talk to my daughter?
-no you cant!
and the two walk off into lala land. jack still wearing his drag.
The END.....ha no not yet!!
jack begins to chat with irina.
loverboy47- puppy lover seeking mommy dog
mary popins101- well, well its nice to hear from you so soon.
loverboy47- yeah you too. i was hoping you had intel for me.
mary popins101- cant you tell me how much you miss me?
loverboy47- i dont have time for romance. i was hoping you could tell me what you know.
mary popins101- but i dont know any more then you know.
loverboy47- hmm? i know you know more then i know. you always know more.
mary popins101- damn it i dont have time for you i know what games. how is our daugther?
loverboy47- she is doing just fine. still with that bone head though. im trying to get her to dump him but she swears he is the one.
mary popins101- oh let her be. as long as she is happy. anyways i miss you and our daughter.
loverboy47- right! you never miss me! you only want me for one thing and one thing only!
mary popins101- and what would that be?
loverboy47- do i need to really tell you? look i really cant be long. im wearing this rediculous costum and i dont want to be seen in it.
mary popins101- well now you have me wondering what in the world mr bristow is wearing.
loverboy47- and you will never find out! damn it someone is coming i must not be seen.
mary popins101- uh my love how will anyone know its you if you are in disguise? hmm?
loverboy47- uh..good point. i dont know. oh duh..my car!
mary popins101- cause your car will give it away.
loverboy47- oh sh*t its sydney! she is coming right towards me. i got to hide. ill lock doors and hide in the back seat. yeah good plan!
mary popins101- um...your windows arent tinted. syd will see you.
loverboy47- how do you know why windows arent tinted?
mary popins101- cause i have seen your car before.
loverboy47- ok i got to go like now! syd is looking through my window yelling at me to get the hell out of her dads car! she doesnt recognize me. oh thank god i can play this off.
mary popins101- have fun explaining this to your daugther. talk to you later.
and jack gets out of the car in complete terror.
-who the hell are you and what are you doing in agent bristows car?
-(jack in the greatest womans voice answers) clears throat- well i can explain. mr. bristow asked me to park his car for him after i droped him off to pick up his dry cleaning.
-and where is he now and why doesnt he have his dry cleaning in his car?
-uh he got beeped for a meeting. very important. now if you excuse me im going to be late for my wax.
-wait a minute those wiskers, i know them.
(jack begins to freak, he knows he has been made) - uh i beg your pardon? im getting them waxed today. it sucks growing old. you start to grow hair where its never grown before.
-hmmm? something else doesnt fit. those broad shoulders i know them.
-no im sorry i work out.
-no let me see. (rips off his wig) HOLY SH*T DAD!!! WHAT?...HUH? OH GOD PLEASE DONT TELL ME YOU HAVE BECOME A WOMAN?!
-sydney no! its not what you think?
-dad! i dont know what to say! god! i thought after the drag mission you would never be seen in womans clothing again but apparently i was wrong!
-syd no!! listen! i was tryin to communicate with your mother and so i had to disguise myself in case i was noticed! im not turning into a woman! i swear!
-oh thank god dad!! you had me worried! god please dont ever wear that wig or that god awful dress ever again!!
-oh but i kind of like the dress! i feel...i feel...sexy!
(syd rolls her eyes and hits jack upside his head)
-im kidding!! geez you need to ligthen up! how bout drinks and maybe some chinese and we can disgus your relationship with vaughn? how is he doing anyways? i hope he isnt heart broken over lauren.
-dad shut up!! geez what is wrong with you?
-nothing. cant i talk to my daughter?
-no you cant!
and the two walk off into lala land. jack still wearing his drag.
The END.....ha no not yet!!
ok chap....whatever # this is.
ok let me warn you i dont know when ill have a new chapter after this becasue its summer and im working.oh who am i kidding i gots lots of free time but i havent been in a writing mood so..but ill try and come up w/ something.
for the time being enjoy!
uh previously.....lets see the evil duo still on the loose and location unknow. vaughn has been rescued and is back home but now has been MIA along with the boys, jack..dont think i mentioned him in the last chap., weiss, sloane and dixon. ill try and make them present in this chapter. oh i want to bring up syd's sister i think i can have fun with that.
ok so here i go. dont know what will come to mind just to prepare you guys..
CIA headquaters LA office-
the gang is gathered around in a huddle disgusting their lastest obstacle course-
syd- so you are telling me that once again we dont know where sark and lauren are and for all we know they could be hiding out in these ceiling tiles planning a surprise birthday party for sloane?
weiss- uh syd why the hell would they plan a party for sloane? but yeah dixon is saying that we got nothing on these ho bags and im ticked cause i got a bone to pick with that tramp!! she hurt my buddy and im not gonna let ass mole get away!!
vaughn- dude chill!! dont worry ive got lauren covered!! after all it was my stupid ass that she betrayed and i didnt have a freakin clue.
syd- oh babe its ok! you got to stop letting yourself down. im just glad that assmole is gone and now i can finally have you to myself once again.
weiss- uh syd correction...you have to share him with me! dont forget we have our man time on tuesday and thrusdays we play some puck and then after eating 10 lbs of junk we blop down in front of the tv and watch a few hrs of porn!!
dixon- uh...men this is not the place to be disgusting your daily acivities!! now come on we need to focus! now these 2 are out there somewhere probably laughing their asses off that we havent tracked them down! come on people we need to get together and stop this madness! (dixon begins to tear up as syd comes over and wipes away his tears)
syd- oh cheif its ok!! we can work it out!! we can work it out! now before we were takin of course marshall was showing us his lastest in tech gear. what have you got marshall?
marshall- oh right....uh...here is..uh..now this baby is the finest peice of chewing gum but its not any peice of gum this marvelous baby will let you retreive any peice of clothing from all sexes in seconds! ...yeah i know! awesome right!! i use it on carrie all the time and she never knows its me! haha!!
(everyone in the room looks at marshall and ask for a peice of this gum)
sloane- now marshall what is the importance of this gum..other then ripping the clothing off women?
marhsall- well thats good question and uh..to be honest i havent figured that out yet. but isnt it the greatest invention ever?!!
syd- hmmm? it really is quite interesting but surely it can come in handly somewhere?
vaughn- im sure marshall will come up with something but in the meantime can i test it out?
marshall- sorry pretty boy its only for professionals right now!
syd- oh poor baby! always getting shot down.
vaughn- oh but i wanna try it. sniff sniff!!
weiss- come here my little pup. here wanna peice of chocolate? its been in my pocket for 5 days. its nice and warm but im sure its still mighty good!!
sloane- eww please dont eat it vaughn!! so what exaclty is our next mission?
weiss- yeah what are we suppose to do?
dixon- well there is a local night club down town that you wiess, syd and vaughn will go to. you will be looking for a waiter who has intel on Mr. Frankenstein who may hold the key to my heart.
syd-..uh.. im sorry what?!
marshall- aww syd didnt you hear dixon has a crush on frankenstein!! hehe!!
dixon- yeah he's my hero anyways so you 3 will go down and vaughn and syd will pose as a married couple looking to hold a party at this club while weiss will go in as a skater boy looking for a job.
weiss- oh fun! i always have the fun ones!
sloane- well little boy at least you get to go out into the world and not be locked up with this felgercarb hole!
weiss- yeah true!! hehe!!
syd- so ok when do we leave?
dixon- in aprox. 5 mintues!
vaughn- 5 mitnues?!! are you for real! i cant get ready in 5 mintues!! i have to do my hair and makeup and.....(syd cuts him off)
syd- oh dont worry ill do it for you! oh this is goin to be fun! wait i dont have to wear one of those short skimpy little numbers do i? i mean i know my body is superb but i hate those things!! i feel like my ass hangs out!! dont say anything boys!!
sloane- im not gonna say anything!
dixon- ok boys and girl go get frankenstien! and be carefull!!
vaughn- yes captin!! lets go!
(jack finally wakes up from his little nap in the back of the room)
dixon- jack so nice of you to jion us? i was wondering where you dove off to.
jack- uh...sorry...i dont know what happen? i was just sittin there listening to marhsall going over his gear and then next mintue i was having wonderful dreams about running in the meadows tryin to catch butterflies. hmm aww oh i how miss that!
sloane- aww sounds so sweet! dotn you love having sweet dreams? it makes you want to dream all day.
dixon- ahmm. ok well anyways i need to run along. dont want to miss my soap. you 2 shoudl probably go make sure marshall isnt doing anything he should.
jack- uh yeah ok.
sloane- come on jack i got to show you something really cool that i just discovered.
jack- uh ok? im worried at what it could be?
and the 3 boys run off as syd, vaughn and weiss begin thier mission.
...TBA
ok let me warn you i dont know when ill have a new chapter after this becasue its summer and im working.oh who am i kidding i gots lots of free time but i havent been in a writing mood so..but ill try and come up w/ something.
for the time being enjoy!
uh previously.....lets see the evil duo still on the loose and location unknow. vaughn has been rescued and is back home but now has been MIA along with the boys, jack..dont think i mentioned him in the last chap., weiss, sloane and dixon. ill try and make them present in this chapter. oh i want to bring up syd's sister i think i can have fun with that.
ok so here i go. dont know what will come to mind just to prepare you guys..
CIA headquaters LA office-
the gang is gathered around in a huddle disgusting their lastest obstacle course-
syd- so you are telling me that once again we dont know where sark and lauren are and for all we know they could be hiding out in these ceiling tiles planning a surprise birthday party for sloane?
weiss- uh syd why the hell would they plan a party for sloane? but yeah dixon is saying that we got nothing on these ho bags and im ticked cause i got a bone to pick with that tramp!! she hurt my buddy and im not gonna let ass mole get away!!
vaughn- dude chill!! dont worry ive got lauren covered!! after all it was my stupid ass that she betrayed and i didnt have a freakin clue.
syd- oh babe its ok! you got to stop letting yourself down. im just glad that assmole is gone and now i can finally have you to myself once again.
weiss- uh syd correction...you have to share him with me! dont forget we have our man time on tuesday and thrusdays we play some puck and then after eating 10 lbs of junk we blop down in front of the tv and watch a few hrs of porn!!
dixon- uh...men this is not the place to be disgusting your daily acivities!! now come on we need to focus! now these 2 are out there somewhere probably laughing their asses off that we havent tracked them down! come on people we need to get together and stop this madness! (dixon begins to tear up as syd comes over and wipes away his tears)
syd- oh cheif its ok!! we can work it out!! we can work it out! now before we were takin of course marshall was showing us his lastest in tech gear. what have you got marshall?
marshall- oh right....uh...here is..uh..now this baby is the finest peice of chewing gum but its not any peice of gum this marvelous baby will let you retreive any peice of clothing from all sexes in seconds! ...yeah i know! awesome right!! i use it on carrie all the time and she never knows its me! haha!!
(everyone in the room looks at marshall and ask for a peice of this gum)
sloane- now marshall what is the importance of this gum..other then ripping the clothing off women?
marhsall- well thats good question and uh..to be honest i havent figured that out yet. but isnt it the greatest invention ever?!!
syd- hmmm? it really is quite interesting but surely it can come in handly somewhere?
vaughn- im sure marshall will come up with something but in the meantime can i test it out?
marshall- sorry pretty boy its only for professionals right now!
syd- oh poor baby! always getting shot down.
vaughn- oh but i wanna try it. sniff sniff!!
weiss- come here my little pup. here wanna peice of chocolate? its been in my pocket for 5 days. its nice and warm but im sure its still mighty good!!
sloane- eww please dont eat it vaughn!! so what exaclty is our next mission?
weiss- yeah what are we suppose to do?
dixon- well there is a local night club down town that you wiess, syd and vaughn will go to. you will be looking for a waiter who has intel on Mr. Frankenstein who may hold the key to my heart.
syd-..uh.. im sorry what?!
marshall- aww syd didnt you hear dixon has a crush on frankenstein!! hehe!!
dixon- yeah he's my hero anyways so you 3 will go down and vaughn and syd will pose as a married couple looking to hold a party at this club while weiss will go in as a skater boy looking for a job.
weiss- oh fun! i always have the fun ones!
sloane- well little boy at least you get to go out into the world and not be locked up with this felgercarb hole!
weiss- yeah true!! hehe!!
syd- so ok when do we leave?
dixon- in aprox. 5 mintues!
vaughn- 5 mitnues?!! are you for real! i cant get ready in 5 mintues!! i have to do my hair and makeup and.....(syd cuts him off)
syd- oh dont worry ill do it for you! oh this is goin to be fun! wait i dont have to wear one of those short skimpy little numbers do i? i mean i know my body is superb but i hate those things!! i feel like my ass hangs out!! dont say anything boys!!
sloane- im not gonna say anything!
dixon- ok boys and girl go get frankenstien! and be carefull!!
vaughn- yes captin!! lets go!
(jack finally wakes up from his little nap in the back of the room)
dixon- jack so nice of you to jion us? i was wondering where you dove off to.
jack- uh...sorry...i dont know what happen? i was just sittin there listening to marhsall going over his gear and then next mintue i was having wonderful dreams about running in the meadows tryin to catch butterflies. hmm aww oh i how miss that!
sloane- aww sounds so sweet! dotn you love having sweet dreams? it makes you want to dream all day.
dixon- ahmm. ok well anyways i need to run along. dont want to miss my soap. you 2 shoudl probably go make sure marshall isnt doing anything he should.
jack- uh yeah ok.
sloane- come on jack i got to show you something really cool that i just discovered.
jack- uh ok? im worried at what it could be?
and the 3 boys run off as syd, vaughn and weiss begin thier mission.
...TBA
~*~Tinker Belle~*~
Cadet
This is too funny! I like it very much, and I love the randomosity that has nothing to do with Alias, it's a nice change lol. But I hope you get inspiration, I'd like to read an update soon!
Love Katie xoxo
Love Katie xoxo
