what do you want to escape form?

[cinders]

me life, pain, memories,

as i know i posted this to steph just thought i would see what u guys wanna escape from

 

[<steph>]

my parents, school, teachers, stupid people, stupid things i have done. things that i can't escape in my brain that i just want to go away.

 

[cinders]

yeh things u cant believe u were forced to go through

 

[<steph>]

yeah...
and paranoia. i can;t get away from that.

 

[cinders]

yeh i constantly think everyones talking about me and laughing

 

[<steph>]

yeah. and i always wonder if something i said could in any way have been taken the wrong way and whehter someone now hates me for something i didn't mean to say. or whether they hate me anyway. or if they're just pretending to be nice or whatever.

 

[cinders]

i dont get tht but i spose i always think that ppl couldnt like me and r pretending

 

[<steph>]

yeah. i always think that about people. even if i've been friends with them for years.

 

[sunsetgirl]

my college, life, this word, people

 

[m<o>j]

Shcool. And schoolwork. And laziness...is it possible to escape from laziness? And people who stand there (Well my mum and teachers), and ask me loads of questions that I really don't understand, and don't know the answer to, but they persist.

Jai

 

[cinders]

yeh lol, they are like so how did u do with the communism final? and you'r elike we had a final on communism?!

 

[<steph>]

grr... why do my parents know what coursework i should be doing better than i know?!

 

[cinders]

yeh lol, i dont let my parents into my life, lol, but i swear my parents ring up my teachers weekly cos i always get the, hey, are you ok? u dont look too happy thing.

 

[m<o>j]

He he...lol! And as well as asking me about subjects I don't understand, they get up in my face about things I did or whatever.
Like the other week, I had to stay in duty for half a lesson 'cause the headteacher asked me why I was late. I said I don't know, and then she asked me what time I normally get in, and I didn't answer, because it depends on so many things, like whether I'm coming to use the computer room, whether I'm at my mum's or dad's house, whether I miss the bus etc, and I get really weird sometimes; sometimes the way people ask a question really honestly confuses me, and if they ask too many of those kinds of questions , I freeze up, and then they want me to do s***(<for lack of a better word :blink: ) like look them in the eyes and stop fidgeting or something, and they don't understand that I concentrate best when I'm doing something else, and find it hard to look people in the eyes and it just frustrates me like hell, and OMG, this is the longest sentence I have ever written in my life so maybe I'll stop.
And possibly breath a little...:lol:

Jai

 

[<steph>]

yeah, Jai, i get the whole need to fidget thing. teachers get like "could you please stop fidgeting/playing with ur hair/whatever" and its like grrrrrrr.... its easier to talk without having to look at someone. its strange.

and breathing is a good idea

 

[cinders]

totally understand
i cant look ppl in the eyes cos i'm scared they know what i'm thinking

 

[<steph>]

yeah... looking right at people freaks me out. i usually like go with shifty eyes. and then they think i'm being suspicious.

 

[cinders]

yeh lol or look at the floor so they are always like, are you ok?

 

[i_love_you_mv]

steph, i swear that katie always knows what i am thinking! cos she knows my moods and it really scares me.

 

[m<o>j]

Yeah, lol...and I'll be standing there, thinking something stupid, but I go into this STUPID OCD state where I'm suddenly thinking that there is one person in the world that can read my thoughts, and the person I'm talking to is that person. And then they go away, and I curse myself for ever thinking something so silly...

Jai