A/N: Takes place during S1. After Noah and Sydney got 'together'. S/V a bit of romance and a bit of angst.
~Part I of II/III~
He stood there, the dim lights buzzing with electricity above him as he watched her walk away from him. Was he supposed to feel this way? Was he supposed to feel jealousy even when he wasn't allowed to even think about her except in a professional manner? Something in her eyes tonight made his stomach turn. He already knew how her mission with Noah had gone, he could tell by the way she avoided eye contact with him. And that's when his fears were answered true, she slept with him. He felt stupid for even caring. After all it wasn't his decision to make whom she slept with, he had no say in how she felt, or how she acted. But if what he thought didn't matter, why wouldn't she look at him? She certainly didn't regret it did she? Did she regret sleeping with a man she hadn't seen in almost seven years, a man she thought she'd never see again? Why would she feel guilty? Obviously he was upset, but he refused to show it. He was upset due to the fact that he'd never get to tell her how he really felt, because of the world they lived in, the work they did, they could never be together. Even if they could, he wasn't sure she'd ever consider it a choice.
He felt a little betrayed. After almost a year of helping her with her problems, it was as if she pushed him down to the ground and started to kick him in the gut. He tried everything he could to help her, mostly because he wanted to be the one constant in her life. The one person she would turn too in a time of need, which happened quite often. But at the moment he felt a little bit betrayed, even though he had no right to be. And she? Well she felt guilty even though she had no right to be. Maybe they were the only two people that hadn't yet realized they were in love; maybe they were both just in denial.
He sighed and turned around to the rickety-old oak desk once she disappeared around the far end of the hallway. He rubbed his eyes, trying to will away the tiredness. Of course, he hadn’t gotten much sleep for the last few nights, because she was out of the country on 'business'. He could never sleep knowing that she might need him at any moment, knowing that while he's sleeping and dreaming peaceful dreams she could very well be taking her last breath.
It bothered him alot, what she did for her country and yet she wasn't even recognized for it. The vulgar costumes she had to wear, and the roles she had to take on made him sick at times. The way that Arvin Sloane took away everything she held dear to her heart made him sick, and the way men threw themselves at her without even really knowing her made him sick. He truly believed that he knew more about her than anyone in her life. He knew her secrets, her fears, her scars, and her pain. He knew her pain like the back of his own hand. And at times, he just wished he could help her forget.
"Why did I ever take this case?" He asked himself as he stood there. He let out a heavy sigh and began to pack up his papers as his thoughts were again plagued by her, not knowing that he wasn't alone in the room. He began to turn around, and when he saw someone standing at the entrance of the fenced in room he jumped slightly. He dropped his briefcase to the floor and grabbed his chest.
"Sydney, you scared me." He said catching his breath. She looked down at his briefcase for a moment and then looked back up at him, he couldn't quite tell what she was thinking, her eyes were cloudy to him.
"I thought you left?" He said confused for a moment. She nodded her head toward her keys that sat on the desk.
"I forgot my keys." She said. She quickly walked over to the table behind him and took them. He watched her closely. She was only inches away from him, her arm accidentally brushing up against his own. She looked up at him briefly and then turned and started to walk out. He watched her again as she walked away, but she suddenly surprised him again when she stopped as she was halfway out of the room. She turned to him and paused a moment before speaking.
"I'm sorry Vaughn, if I’ve made this hard for you. If in some way I’ve forced my problems onto you. Just tell me, and I’ll make sure the only thing we talk about are the counter-missions." She said. She began to turn away when his voice commanded her to stop.
"Sydney." He said. She slowly turned her head towards him again, as both of them stood silent. He wanted to say something, he really did, but it was as if his mind was fogged up, and he just couldn't find the right thing to say. After a moment she gave him a small smile.
"Happy Thanksgiving." She told him. She once again left him standing there, utterly amazed.
After a few minutes he gathered up his things once again and walked down the long corridor of the warehouse. He knew that he wouldn't stop thinking about her until the next time he saw her, and even after that she would most likely plague his mind. He pushed open the iron door and walked outside. It was evening, and the sun was just starting to set, bringing the city closer to darkness.
As he walked to his car he spotted a pink envelope stuck in-between the window on the driver’s side door. He found himself curious, but happiness soon consumed his features as he realized whom it was from. Once he reached his door he carefully plucked the card out of the door and smiled to see his first name written on it. He knew the handwriting; he knew it all to well. He opened the car door and threw his briefcase in the passenger seat, getting in he closed his door and settled into his seat. He debated for a moment whether he should open the card or wait. But his curiosity got the best of him and he ran his finger between the flap of the envelope that sealed it closed. He took the card out and turned it over so he was looking at the front. The front had a picture of a lake, beautiful fall trees surrounding it. He smiled and opened it up. There was no saying inside, no greeting; instead her writing filled both inside panels of the card. He started to read it.
~Michael
First of all don't laugh at me for the card I picked, I know it's a bit stupid, but I just wasn't sure of what to get. I just wanted to tell you Happy Thanksgiving, and Happy Birthday. I really hope you have a great day tomorrow. I know you said you're spending it with your mother and I hope you can relax for the weekend. I promise I won't bother you during the holidays, I’ll wait till you get back.
He laughed softly and read on.
It's ironic to me that your birthday is on Thanksgiving, because you can believe I’m thankful for having you in my life. I'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me, I just simply can't, because the things you have done for me are priceless. You may not think so, or you may not see it, but you're the one that's gotten me through this hell I’ve been living in. You. I know I don't say it enough, I definitely know I don't show it alot, I’ve blown up on you many times, but despite all of that, you're so special to me.
He sat there, goosebumps running up and down his arms as his heart skipped a beat.
I can't imagine my life without you, Vaughn. You know more about me than my own best friends do. You know my secrets, you know my pains, my past scars, but you don't criticize me for them. You look beyond the facade that I put on for everyone else and see me for who I am. I'm not a super-spy and I’m not invincible. You know I cry after killing someone on a mission, you know I get frustrated when things don't go as planned. I'm sure you already know that I’m just a girl, just a girl with a broken heart, broken memories, a broken past, and most likely a broken future.
His face grew soft and he felt his throat start to tighten up, his eyes started to burn with unshed tears.
I'm a disaster waiting to happen, and you're the only person in my life that hasn't left me hanging outside in the storm. You have no idea how much that means to me. Knowing that you're here, knowing that you're waiting to help me through my next problem makes me want to keep fighting. Sometimes I forget who I am, sometimes I forget why I’m fighting, and sometimes I just feel like giving up. But everytime I do I think of you. I think about everytime you've listened, to everytime you've cared, and I find my reason to fight again, that reason is you.
A tear finally fell onto his cheek and he quickly pushed it away.
So I just wanted you to know, that when I’m sitting around the dinner table with Will, Francie, and my father tomorrow night. When Francie makes us say what we're thankful for, even though I can't say it outloud, I’ll be silently thanking g*d for bringing you into my life. You are my guardian angel, I’ve never doubted that and I never will. I love you.
~Syd
He stared at the last sentence of her letter. The last three words. He knew that the meaning behind them wasn't one of lovers, but of friends, friends that truly cared for one another. He realized that she had taken a risk and put herself out there, hoping that he would feel the same way, and he did, the thing was, she didn't know that. He knew how rare it was for Sydney Bristow to wear her feelings on her sleeve. He knew that this may be the only time that he'd receive something this deep from her, and he knew this may be the only chance he gets to tell her exactly how much he loves her. This woman made the worst days bearable, the best days better, she made him laugh, and unlike any other woman he's ever known besides his mother, she's made him cry. And that was something he hadn't done since he was eight years old and standing in front of his father coffin.
She had his heart, she had his soul, and she had his love. He just needed to make her realize that.
~Part I of II/III~
He stood there, the dim lights buzzing with electricity above him as he watched her walk away from him. Was he supposed to feel this way? Was he supposed to feel jealousy even when he wasn't allowed to even think about her except in a professional manner? Something in her eyes tonight made his stomach turn. He already knew how her mission with Noah had gone, he could tell by the way she avoided eye contact with him. And that's when his fears were answered true, she slept with him. He felt stupid for even caring. After all it wasn't his decision to make whom she slept with, he had no say in how she felt, or how she acted. But if what he thought didn't matter, why wouldn't she look at him? She certainly didn't regret it did she? Did she regret sleeping with a man she hadn't seen in almost seven years, a man she thought she'd never see again? Why would she feel guilty? Obviously he was upset, but he refused to show it. He was upset due to the fact that he'd never get to tell her how he really felt, because of the world they lived in, the work they did, they could never be together. Even if they could, he wasn't sure she'd ever consider it a choice.
He felt a little betrayed. After almost a year of helping her with her problems, it was as if she pushed him down to the ground and started to kick him in the gut. He tried everything he could to help her, mostly because he wanted to be the one constant in her life. The one person she would turn too in a time of need, which happened quite often. But at the moment he felt a little bit betrayed, even though he had no right to be. And she? Well she felt guilty even though she had no right to be. Maybe they were the only two people that hadn't yet realized they were in love; maybe they were both just in denial.
He sighed and turned around to the rickety-old oak desk once she disappeared around the far end of the hallway. He rubbed his eyes, trying to will away the tiredness. Of course, he hadn’t gotten much sleep for the last few nights, because she was out of the country on 'business'. He could never sleep knowing that she might need him at any moment, knowing that while he's sleeping and dreaming peaceful dreams she could very well be taking her last breath.
It bothered him alot, what she did for her country and yet she wasn't even recognized for it. The vulgar costumes she had to wear, and the roles she had to take on made him sick at times. The way that Arvin Sloane took away everything she held dear to her heart made him sick, and the way men threw themselves at her without even really knowing her made him sick. He truly believed that he knew more about her than anyone in her life. He knew her secrets, her fears, her scars, and her pain. He knew her pain like the back of his own hand. And at times, he just wished he could help her forget.
"Why did I ever take this case?" He asked himself as he stood there. He let out a heavy sigh and began to pack up his papers as his thoughts were again plagued by her, not knowing that he wasn't alone in the room. He began to turn around, and when he saw someone standing at the entrance of the fenced in room he jumped slightly. He dropped his briefcase to the floor and grabbed his chest.
"Sydney, you scared me." He said catching his breath. She looked down at his briefcase for a moment and then looked back up at him, he couldn't quite tell what she was thinking, her eyes were cloudy to him.
"I thought you left?" He said confused for a moment. She nodded her head toward her keys that sat on the desk.
"I forgot my keys." She said. She quickly walked over to the table behind him and took them. He watched her closely. She was only inches away from him, her arm accidentally brushing up against his own. She looked up at him briefly and then turned and started to walk out. He watched her again as she walked away, but she suddenly surprised him again when she stopped as she was halfway out of the room. She turned to him and paused a moment before speaking.
"I'm sorry Vaughn, if I’ve made this hard for you. If in some way I’ve forced my problems onto you. Just tell me, and I’ll make sure the only thing we talk about are the counter-missions." She said. She began to turn away when his voice commanded her to stop.
"Sydney." He said. She slowly turned her head towards him again, as both of them stood silent. He wanted to say something, he really did, but it was as if his mind was fogged up, and he just couldn't find the right thing to say. After a moment she gave him a small smile.
"Happy Thanksgiving." She told him. She once again left him standing there, utterly amazed.
After a few minutes he gathered up his things once again and walked down the long corridor of the warehouse. He knew that he wouldn't stop thinking about her until the next time he saw her, and even after that she would most likely plague his mind. He pushed open the iron door and walked outside. It was evening, and the sun was just starting to set, bringing the city closer to darkness.
As he walked to his car he spotted a pink envelope stuck in-between the window on the driver’s side door. He found himself curious, but happiness soon consumed his features as he realized whom it was from. Once he reached his door he carefully plucked the card out of the door and smiled to see his first name written on it. He knew the handwriting; he knew it all to well. He opened the car door and threw his briefcase in the passenger seat, getting in he closed his door and settled into his seat. He debated for a moment whether he should open the card or wait. But his curiosity got the best of him and he ran his finger between the flap of the envelope that sealed it closed. He took the card out and turned it over so he was looking at the front. The front had a picture of a lake, beautiful fall trees surrounding it. He smiled and opened it up. There was no saying inside, no greeting; instead her writing filled both inside panels of the card. He started to read it.
~Michael
First of all don't laugh at me for the card I picked, I know it's a bit stupid, but I just wasn't sure of what to get. I just wanted to tell you Happy Thanksgiving, and Happy Birthday. I really hope you have a great day tomorrow. I know you said you're spending it with your mother and I hope you can relax for the weekend. I promise I won't bother you during the holidays, I’ll wait till you get back.
He laughed softly and read on.
It's ironic to me that your birthday is on Thanksgiving, because you can believe I’m thankful for having you in my life. I'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me, I just simply can't, because the things you have done for me are priceless. You may not think so, or you may not see it, but you're the one that's gotten me through this hell I’ve been living in. You. I know I don't say it enough, I definitely know I don't show it alot, I’ve blown up on you many times, but despite all of that, you're so special to me.
He sat there, goosebumps running up and down his arms as his heart skipped a beat.
I can't imagine my life without you, Vaughn. You know more about me than my own best friends do. You know my secrets, you know my pains, my past scars, but you don't criticize me for them. You look beyond the facade that I put on for everyone else and see me for who I am. I'm not a super-spy and I’m not invincible. You know I cry after killing someone on a mission, you know I get frustrated when things don't go as planned. I'm sure you already know that I’m just a girl, just a girl with a broken heart, broken memories, a broken past, and most likely a broken future.
His face grew soft and he felt his throat start to tighten up, his eyes started to burn with unshed tears.
I'm a disaster waiting to happen, and you're the only person in my life that hasn't left me hanging outside in the storm. You have no idea how much that means to me. Knowing that you're here, knowing that you're waiting to help me through my next problem makes me want to keep fighting. Sometimes I forget who I am, sometimes I forget why I’m fighting, and sometimes I just feel like giving up. But everytime I do I think of you. I think about everytime you've listened, to everytime you've cared, and I find my reason to fight again, that reason is you.
A tear finally fell onto his cheek and he quickly pushed it away.
So I just wanted you to know, that when I’m sitting around the dinner table with Will, Francie, and my father tomorrow night. When Francie makes us say what we're thankful for, even though I can't say it outloud, I’ll be silently thanking g*d for bringing you into my life. You are my guardian angel, I’ve never doubted that and I never will. I love you.
~Syd
He stared at the last sentence of her letter. The last three words. He knew that the meaning behind them wasn't one of lovers, but of friends, friends that truly cared for one another. He realized that she had taken a risk and put herself out there, hoping that he would feel the same way, and he did, the thing was, she didn't know that. He knew how rare it was for Sydney Bristow to wear her feelings on her sleeve. He knew that this may be the only time that he'd receive something this deep from her, and he knew this may be the only chance he gets to tell her exactly how much he loves her. This woman made the worst days bearable, the best days better, she made him laugh, and unlike any other woman he's ever known besides his mother, she's made him cry. And that was something he hadn't done since he was eight years old and standing in front of his father coffin.
She had his heart, she had his soul, and she had his love. He just needed to make her realize that.
