Alias Photo Funnies & Assorted Naughn-sense

[superintelligentone]

The C.I.A. Investigation of the Irina Derevko Infiltration & Disappearance

Director Smith: "Agent Jack Bristow, you seem to be evasive about
explaining how Soviet Agent Irina Derevko first came into your life."
Jack Bristow: Smirking "Not at all. You simply haven't been asking
the proper questions for me to give you a satisfactory answer.
I didn't let Irina into my life. I let 'Laura' into my life. It's different.
Now please phrase your questions in such a way that can't be
misinterpreted."
Director Smith: "Okay.... Agent Bristow, what did you see in the
woman that you knew as 'Laura'? Didn't you suspect her in any way?
After all, what did you have have to offer her other than intelligence?"

Jack Bristow: "Simple answer... I was in love. I didn't detect anything
wrong. What did we have in common? Laura had a fabulous body.
Do you want me to describe what she liked in the bedroom? She'd like
me to pinch her cute...."

Director Smith: :angry: "Now, you're making a mockery of this hearing!"
Jack Bristow: "I have tremendous respect for my country. You however...."

SIO Strikes Again

 

[Sydney Derevko Bristow]

Hope you do more. They are so good and you are the only one doing this, so don't ever stop.

 

[superintelligentone]

Victor Garber in the latest James Bond movie

Blofeld: "Give up, Bond. Or the girl gets it!"

Annie: "The gun will come out tomorrow..."

Miss Hannigan: "Shut up, kid! You don't want me to use this Tazer." :angry:

- A SIO Production

 

[Scarlet Crystal]

Haha this is great!

 

[Sydney Derevko Bristow]

Waiting for the new ones

 

[Sydney in Stockholm]

I'm new to the forum but these are SO funny! ~_~ Well done! PLEASE make more...

 

[superintelligentone]

The Christmas Miracle

Naughn: "So Jack, I can't wait until the official announcement. How did you manage to cheat
death? Did you make a deal with the Devil?"
Jack: "Why I'm fine. Thank you for your 'heartfelt concern', Naughn."
Naughn: "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so glad that you're alive and well. So are Sydney, Isabelle
and little Jackie waiting back at home for your arrival."
Jack: "I've got a grandson? I've only been thinking about Sydney and Isabella everyday for
years. I can't wait to see them."
Naughn: "After the press conference... So, your explanation?"

Jack: "I was dying, so I went into the cave with the explosives to bury Sloane under tons of rock.
You should have seen me. I told Sloane 'You beat Death, Arvin. But you couldn't beat me.' Then
I set off the explosives."
Naughn: "You both got blown up? I don't understand."
Jack: "I got blown up. Sloane got buried from the waist down under tons of rock. The Rambaldi
restorative fluid that Sloane had fallen into kept him alive as I expected. What I didn't expect
was Arvin using a shovel to splash my corpse with the same restorative fluid."

Naughn: "Amazing! I can't even imagine what you went through."
Jack: "When I revived, Arvin explained that he had seen the future and that the only reason
why he appeared to have gone bad was he had to fulfill his role in bringing an end to Irina
Derevko's plan for world domination."

Naughn: "And you took him at his word?"
Jack: "No, you dolt. There was a Rambaldi device in the cave, a visualization device that confirmed Arvin's story. It took me months to dig out Sloane. Then it took us years to dig our way out of the cave-in. Just in time for Christmas 2009."
Naughn: "That explains you and Arvin. How do you explain how badly I've aged. Did Sloane use Rambaldi to steal some of my lifeforce to revive you?"

Jack: "It's just you. We can't blame everything on Rambaldi!"

SIO Strikes Again!

 

[Sydney Derevko Bristow]

Ooooops a mean one...but I had missed these terribly..Good to have Naughnsense back.

 

[Margo-W]

Ahaha, great!

 

[sydneythechosenone_47]

Awesome!

 

[superintelligentone]

SIO's Lost Treasure, Originally posted from May 15 2005, 02:18 AM

Family Intervention

Nadia: Sydney, you know that we love you.
Jack: But, we're doing an intervention.
Sydney: I don't understand what you mean.
Nadia: We think that Vaughn is using you.
Jack: What is that term that young people use? Something like Galoshes phone?

Vaughn: Seems like its time for a booty call with Sydney tonight.

:naughty:

SIO Strikes Again! ;SIO;

 

[superintelligentone]

SIO's Lost Treasure, Originally posted from May 15 2005, 02:45 AM

SpyDaddy Knows Best!

Vaughn: "Oww!"
Dixon: "Vaughn? You just punched yourself in the face!"
Vaughn: "That's weird. I don't know why I did that. I didn't know what I was doing." ;shrug;

24 hours earlier.

Nadia: "Sydney, we think that Vaughn is using you."
Sydney: "I don't believe that."
Jack: "I've taken the opportunity to place a post-hypnotic suggestion in Vaughn's mind.
Every time that he thinks of another woman in an inappropriate way, it'll cause him to punch himself
in the face. That will be your proof." :smart:

Back in the present.

Vaughn: :cloud9: Mmm, Sabina was such a hottie. "Oww!"

Dixon: "Vaughn, you just punched yourself in the face again!"

:naughty: :rotf:

SIO Strikes Again! ;SIO;

 

[superintelligentone]

SIO's Lost Treasure, Originally posted from Feb 12 2004, 04:12 AM

Here is the post where I created V.O.I.D. - the elite of the Vaughn haters! I led the firing squad!

I'm not sure of the date of the original.

V.O.I.D. - Vaughn Only Incites Dementia!

SIO: "Michael Vaughn, the members of V.O.I.D (Vaughn Only Incites Dementia) sentence you to the ulitmate punishment."

Vaughn: "What did I do wrong?"

SIO: "Over use the 'brooding sensitivity' routine!"

SarksLover: "Grinning like a beaver and wrinkling your forehead!"

SexyAccentRuthlessKiller: "For being horribly ugly and boring and stupid and inadequate!"

Sydney: "Hey, what about me?"

SIO: "Oh .... Feel free to join in on the Vaughn bashing!" :lol:

Sydney: "Uh... For being a two-timing, womanizer. For making me weak and addicted to you... Hey, that feels good getting that out in the open!"

SIO: "Care to join the V.O.I.D.?" :clapping:

D.V.D. = Die Vaughn, Die!

I just added the last two lines. They weren't in the original.

 

[superintelligentone]

SIO's Lost Treasure, Originally posted from May 18 2005, 10:25 PM

Betting on Vaughn

Vaughn: "PLEASE! Don't shoot, I'm innocent!"
Henchman: "Stop the blubbering. Irina sent me. She says that she'd rather be locked in that jungle pit than
have you as a son-in-law."
Vaughn: "Not a problem. I prefer Blondes anyway."

Monitoring the situation at APO.

Sydney: "Oh - my - God!" :doh:
Jack: *sighs* "Our 'Hero'!"
Nadia: "The 'Stallion' is really a gelding!" ;shrug;
Jack: "Not a gelding. Horses are noble animals. Change that to 'The rooster is really a capon!'"

Sydney: "Thanks for showing me what Vaughn's is really like, guys."
Nadia: "That's 100 bucks you owe me Jack. Vaughn bailed out on Sydney in less than a minute."
Jack: "Double or nothing, Nadia. I bet you that Vaughn soiled himself too!"

:naughty:
SIO strikes again! ;SIO;

The reactions from Syd, Jack and Nadia are additions not in the original scenario.

 

[superintelligentone]

SIO's Lost Treasure, Originally posted from Nov 23 2005, 03:44 AM

Vaughn's Importance To Jack and the APO

Sydney: "Vaughn, I just got a call that you got shot. But, this was your day off. Did some
enemy from your past try to kill you?"

Vaughn: "No, nothing like that. I was at the variety store trying to buy a magazine, when I
noticed the price. I exclaimed that it was robbery. So the clerk misunderstood and shot me!"

Sydney: "That's what you get for being so cheap! ... You know, Michael, people at the office
are whispering that you're a 'bullet-magnet'.
Vaughn: "Tell, Jack that I won't be able to work until I recover, okay? And don't tell him that I
got shot buying 'Blonde Bimbo Magazine'.
Sydney: "How I am supposed to explain how you got shot? I won't lie to my father. You know
how he can detect lies."
Vaughn: "Tell him that I got shot by a suspicious Middle Eastern man. It's the truth!"
Sydney: "So, the clerk was a Middle Eastern man? I won't be lying to my father."
Vaughn: "That's my girl!"

Later at the office.

Sydney: "Dad, Vaughn is going to recover, but we'll have to make due without him for a while."

Jack: "Oh, how will we cope without Vaughn!" :naughty:

:naughty:
SIO strikes again! ;SIO;

 

[superintelligentone]

SIO's Lost Treasure, Originally posted from Jun 11 2005, 12:02 AM

Naughn Reward

Irina: "You're not as covert as you like to think. Consider my life an object lesson. If you don't
want to end up like Jack and me, tell Sydney the truth."
Vaughn: "Tell Sydney the truth, I understand."

A few minutes later.

Vaughn: "Sydney, I want to tell you something that I've been hiding. There shouldn't be secrets
between us. That's what went wrong between your parents."
Jack: "That's surprising asute of you, Agent Vaughn!"
Vaughn: "I slept with Elena. That's what you meant, Irina. Your sister told you, right?"
Irina: "I meant that you were a double agent, you slimy worm!"
Sydney: "Vaughn! How could you!" :doh:

Jack: "Well now... Should I give him a quick death, or a slow, agonising one ladies?" onder:
Vaughn: "I can explain. I thought that she was 'Sophia Vargas' at the time. I was so grateful
with her help in Lisbon telling me about how she met my father, that I wanted to reward her."

Elena: "You call that a reward? I'll have you know that I filed a complaint under the Geneva
Convention!" :yucky:

:naughty:
SIO strikes again! ;SIO;

 

[superintelligentone]

SIO's Lost Treasure, Originally posted from Jul 14 2005, 03:40 AM

Vaughn's Confession

Vaughn: "Sydney, I have to tell you something. My name isn't really Michael Vaughn. I've been deceiving you from the start."
Sydney: "Talk, you lying bastard. Or I'll rip your ear off!"

Vaughn: *Owww!* "I give up! My name is really Michael Von Dumm. I am a bad guy."

Sydney: "Should I know that name?"

Vaughn: "The world fears me, for my alias is Dr. Dumb!"

:naughty:

SIO strikes again! ;SIO;

 

[superintelligentone]

Sydney At Naughn's Funeral

:naughty:

SIO Strikes Again! ;SIO;

 

[superintelligentone]

Naughn's Valentine Gift Surprise!

Vaughn: "Happy Valentine's Day, Syd!"

Sydney: "Vaughn, I got all dressed up for a nice romantic Valentine's Day dinner at this fancy restaurant, expecting a special evening. Now, I find that you got me this broom as my present??!! How could you!"

Vaughn: "Uh, 'let me explain. Syd, you're always talking about pollution. This is good for the environment since its manual, unlike a vacuum cleaner would be. And see, I bought a silver tipped, ebony hardwood, custom model. You'll remember me every time you use it!"

Sydney: "How about I use it on you and stick it where the sun don't shine!" :yucky:

:naughty:

SIO strikes again! ;SIO;

 

[superintelligentone]

Victor Garber in the latest James Bond movie

Blofeld: "Give up, Bond. Or the girl gets it!"

Annie: "The gun will come out tomorrow..."

Miss Hannigan: "Shut up, kid! You don't want me to use this Tazer." :angry:

- A SIO Production

I got to present this one as a gift to Victor Garber at a London, Ontario Diabetes fundraiser on April 22, 2012. He chuckled and thanked me for it. He was warm and friendly.