Breathe No More

Breathe No More
By Gabs
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, the Evanescence lyrics right at the beginning aren't mine, not making any money, etc etc.
This was for the SD-1 September challenge. The requirements are a school scene, a Shakespeare quote, the word canicular, a Ferris Bueller quote, and a pencil.

Chapter 1

Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.

~Evanescence, Breathe No More


Exhausted and still bewildered, Sydney timidly pushed the door open to discover a stricken Will waiting on the other side. He jumped to his feet and, as she entered, pain covered his face, followed by relief
“Oh my god… it’s true,” he managed to choke out before she crashed into him. He immediately wrapped his strong arms around her, holding onto her as though he never wanted to let go.
“Will…” she sobbed quietly. He held her tightly as the tears ran their course.
“It’ll be ok,” he promised gently. When he felt her shaking her head fiercely, he relinquished his hold and let her pull away from him enough to look him in the eye.
“Nothing is ok, Will… nothing will ever be ok again.” She could see the confusion in his eyes.
“Things may be all wrong right now, Syd, but they have to get better. Once you’ve hit rock bottom, you can’t go any further down.” She gave a hollow half-laugh to that.
“If anyone can find a way, it’ll be me.”
“Why? What makes you so sure things won’t get better?”
“They may get better… but they can never be right again.”
“Yes they can, Syd! You just-“
“Just what? Have to believe, have faith? How the hell am I supposed to do that? I lost two years of my life, Will! I don’t know where I went, what I did, who I was with… I thought I’d lost you. And because of me, we lost Francie. I am a curse, Will. I shouldn’t be here… I’ll only destroy you too.” She pulled further away from him and began pacing. After a few moments, he managed to catch her arm and put her motion to a stop.
“You will NOT destroy me, Sydney. I lost everything that night… you and Francie both. I’ve already been destroyed. Please, Syd, don’t disappear on me again… I couldn’t survive that.” Hearing the pain in his voice, she nodded slowly.
“OK Will… I’m not going anywhere.” He smiled at her gratefully as they came together for another hug.
A short time later, Sydney and Will were walking through the home she’d shared with Francie, discussing her return.
“So you’ve been back for two weeks now?”
“Yeah… I woke up in Hong Kong and called the CIA. Vaughn came to get me, and…” she trailed off, and he looked at her sympathetically. She turned to him, looking about to ask a question, but then stopped herself.
“Syd? Whatever it is, you can say it.”
“Yeah, I know, but it’s… ok. Have you… uh… have you met her?” she asked hesitantly.
“Met who?” There was a pause, and realization dawned in Will’s eyes. “Oh... you mean Vaughn’s… no. No, I haven’t.” She nodded, remaining silent as they approached to door to what was once her room. Sydney made no move to open the door, not sure of what she might find.
“Go on,” Will urged gently. She gave him a smile, then reached for the door. As they entered, Sydney was surprised to see it looked almost exactly how it had two years ago. Anything that had been damaged in the battle with Allison was now repaired or replaced. She spun to face Will, who smiled softly.
“You did all this?” He gave a light nod, and Sydney felt tears threatening.
“Thank you.” Will smiled again.
“You’re welcome. I never gave up on you, Syd… I moved in sometime after you disappeared, and have been trying to keep things perfect ever since. Now that you’re back… well, I can leave if you’d prefer, or-“ she cut him off briskly.
“No. No way, Will. I would never dream of asking you to leave… especially after all you’ve done for me.”
“Ok… I really didn’t want to go apartment hunting anyway.” They both laughed lightly, and Sydney began looking around again.
“It’s getting late,” Will observed, glancing at his watch. “I’ll leave you alone now, just give me a yell if you need anything… or whatever. We can catch up more tomorrow.” Sydney gave him a grateful smile.
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Ok, great… night Syd.”
“Good night.” She watched his back until he pulled the door shut behind him, and then walked around her room for a few moments before deciding that the first order of business was a shower. Ten minutes later, she walked back into her room and searched for something to wear to bed. Sydney had just pulled on a loose pair of pants and an old shirt when she heard a noise. She whirled to find a dark figure standing in the doorway.
“Will?” she asked falteringly. Staring into the darkness, she eventually realized who it was.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded anxiously. Sark said nothing, continuing to shadow the doorway for a moment. Finally, he took a few steps toward her. Sydney, entranced in curiosity, didn’t move. Sark seemed to take that as a sign, as he quickly closed the remaining distance and gently, even lovingly, lowered his lips to hers. Sydney found herself falling into it, but soon regained her senses and pushed him away. He stared at her closely, and she saw pain and uncertainty haunting his clear blue eyes.
“You really don’t remember,” he breathed, taking a few steps back. Sydney grasped his hand quickly.
“Remember what?” she asked softly. His eyes drifted to the window, where the light of the moon was shining bright.
“You’ll know,” he whispered. He gave her hand a quick squeeze before slipping his hand out of hers and fading out through the door. Sydney leaned against the wall, bringing her hands up to cover her face.
The incident, everything about it, just had to be wrong. She knew it.
So why did it feel so right?


More to come soon...
 
Thanks for the feedbacks, people! And yes Sarah, this is posted at SD-1 as well. :smiley:


Chapter 2

Don’t try to fix me…
I’m not broken, hello.
~Evanescence, Hello


Sydney was running down the dark hallway, trying to elude her pursuer. The harder she ran, the faster he seemed to get… and there was no escape in sight. She was preparing herself to turn around, face whomever was after her, when something caught her eye. A dark savior, clad in black, had appeared to light her way. He took her hand and steered her down a hall she hadn’t previously noticed, soon leading her to freedom.
“Thank you,” Sydney said hesitantly. As he turned to face her, Sydney gasped.
“You’ll know,” Sark said, repeating the words he’d said to her last night.
“Know what?” she pleaded. He gave her a sad smile.
“Seven months.” He placed her hand over his heart, holding it there for a moment, before closing his eyes and disappearing into the mist. She still heard the man chasing her, but knew he was no longer a threat to her well-being.
Sark had saved her.

Sydney sat straight up in bed, looking around wildly before realizing- it was only a dream. She sighed to herself, and glanced to the clock to find it was 4:07. She rubbed her eyes, but decided to try for a few more hours of sleep. She settled back down, trying to coax herself into sleep, but with her mind racing through the possibilities. Nothing was clear anymore… but had it ever truly been to begin with? She fell asleep, her mind locked on dream-Sark’s pained smile.
Early the next morning, Sydney walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. She’d just sat down and started drinking when the door opened and Will walked in, shirt in hand. He paused as he caught sight of her.
“Morning.”
“Hey. I take it you went for a run?” he nodded. “Should’ve gotten me up; I would’ve gone with you.”
“Thought you might need your rest. Tomorrow, ok?” he suggested with a smile.
“Ok.” Looking concerned, Will moved over and sat across from her.
“Syd… are you all right?” She sighed.
“Uh… no. Not really.”
“Do you want to talk?”
“It’s just… something happened last night, and I can’t understand it.”
“Something happened? Like… a bad dream, or…” Sydney shaking her head caused him to stop.
“No… nothing that simple.” With another sigh, she proceeded to tell him about Sark’s visit, but left out all details of her dream. When she’d finished, Will was left staring down at the table, idly twiddling his thumbs. After an enduring silence, Sydney spoke again.
“I’m sorry Will, I shouldn’t have told you. I-“
“No, no, I asked you to tell me. What now?”
“I’m not sure. He must know something about what happened while I was… gone. I’ve got to find some way to get him to tell me.” Will looked at her nervously.
“Be careful Syd. You know better than I what this guy is capable of.” She nodded slowly.
“I know… but last night, there was nothing threatening about him. He was just so…”
“Syd… don’t fall into some kind of trap here. I’m not trying to downplay your instincts, I’m just saying- be careful.” She smiled at him as she finished her coffee and stood.
“I’ll be very careful, I promise. Thanks Will.” She leaned over to give him a quick hug, and then headed back to her room to change. When she walked back out a short time later, Will was in the kitchen, working on breakfast.
“Have you become a master chef?” she asked teasingly.
“Hardly. Just figured that since I didn’t have anyone around to feed me anymore, I’d better learn to do it myself.” Despite the joking tone, Sydney heard the underlying pain in his voice, and it reminded her that there were still a lot of things they needed to talk about.
“Hey,” she said softly. He turned to face her, and she enveloped him in a hug. He was surprised, but returned the gesture.
“What’s this for?” he whispered.
“Everything,” she replied. “I’m so sorry for everything. I think we should talk when I get back.”
“When you get back? Where are you going?” She gave him a look, and held up her cell phone.
“The CIA beckons.”
“What? You just got home last night, and they already want you back in?” Sydney nodded.
“It’s not like they’re sending me off to Germany on some insane mission. It’s just… more debriefing. And there are things they still haven’t told me- about Vaughn, my father… I just don’t know what’s going on.”
“All right then, I guess I’ll see you when I see you,” Will replied, resuming his aborted attempt at breakfast. Sydney turned to leave, then thought of something and slowly faced him again.
“Will?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you… still working for the CIA?” He grew still, staring down at his French toast. A moment later, he continued what he was doing, but still didn’t look at her.
“No.”
“What happened?” Will finally glanced up at her, a faint flicker of amusement playing in his eyes.
“Syd… didn’t they call you in?” Sydney rolled her eyes.
“Screw the CIA… they can wait.” He gave her a thankful smile.
“Ok then… I quit. I hadn’t even been in that long, or that deep, and yet that life had taken everything from me. Because of it, I lost Francie, I lost you, I lost my normalcy… I almost lost my life. I tried to hang in, but I just… I couldn’t. I couldn’t stick around there with the full knowledge of all it had cost. So I resigned, and they helped me get a job at a magazine- a real magazine.”
“The CIA helped you?” Sydney repeated dubiously. He dropped his eyes back to his cooking, but looked up at her again a moment later. Sydney nodded slowly.
“Vaughn helped you.”
“He turned in his own resignation the next day.”
“Have you kept in touch with him?” Will shook his head.
“Nah… I see him around, every so often, but that’s it.” Sydney was about to reply when her cell phone went off again.
“Ah… the joys of technology,” she sighed. “I guess I’d better go in before they send a search team after me or something.” Will gave her a blank look, and she smiled apologetically.
“Sorry… guess that wasn’t very funny.” He shook his head.
“No, ‘fraid not.”
“Sorry,” she repeated.
“See you when you get home, all right?”
“Yeah… home.” Sydney walked out to her car, which Will had also taken good care of in her absence, and was about to unlock the door when something caught her attention. There, on the drivers seat, sat a white envelope, her name on the front. Baffled, Sydney inspected the car. All doors were locked, all windows rolled up, and yet there it was. She looked around quickly, not sure what she was expecting to find, then unlocked the car and picked up the envelope. Sitting down, she tore it open and pulled out a single piece of paper. It was a poem, which she read over carefully.
Take this kiss upon the brow
And, in parting from you now,
This much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone ?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

~Edgar Allen Poe~


She recognized the handwriting; it was familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it. She flipped the paper over, and found two sentences on the back, and proceeded to read them aloud.
“The canicular heat of Italy… the cool rains of Switzerland. You’ll know.”
 
love it and the evanescence in it! :smiley: hehe You never cease to amaze me with your writing abilities...now, i was wonderin' about that fanfic...uhh what's it called...umm oh yea, Sporky Meese! lol when's that gonna be updated? :angelic:
 
Hope I got everyone for the PM list... thanks for reading and reviewing!


Chapter 3

Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again
~Evanescence, Lies



“And you don’t know where you were? Or with whom?”
“No, I do not.”
“Not even an idea?” Dr. Barnett prodded. Sydney sighed and looked up at her. Before she could reply, Weiss cut in.
“Look, the CIA kept Sydney locked up here for two weeks. They ran all kinds of tests, asked her every question you’re asking, and decided that she was telling the truth, and it was ok to let her go. Why are you repeating all of it now?”
“Agent Weiss, I can understand and appreciate your protectiveness in this matter. However, we had hoped that her being home, with Mr. Tippin, might somehow help spur some kind of memory.” “Well in that case, don’t you think it’d be a bit more conducive to your goals to actually allow her some time at home before interrogating her again? She’s hardly had time to make her bed, much less recover any memories.” Dr. Barnett didn’t reply, nor did she look up, instead writing something down in her notes. Then she glanced at Sydney again.
“Is there anything I should know about?” Sydney’s mind flashed to Sark; that kiss, the poem, his note. She glanced up and met Dr. Barnett’s eyes.
“No. Nothing.”
“Ok then. Taking Agent Weiss’ words under advisement, I’m scheduling your next appointment two weeks from today. Is that ok with you?” Sydney nodded briskly.
“Good. Thank you for coming in, Sydney, and I sincerely hope things get better for you.” Sydney gave her a genuine smile. “Thank you.” Weiss gently took her arm and led her out. She smiled up at him.
“You know Eric, you don’t have to hold my hand all day.” He gave her an odd look.
“Syd, I’m not… I’m holding your elbow.” She smacked his arm.
“You know what I meant.” He grinned and released her arm.
“What do you have to do now?” he questioned.
“Nothing… I’m not needed here right now. No one’s telling me anything about my father, and there are no more questions that I have the answer to.”
“Heading home?” Sydney nodded slowly.
“Yeah… it’s too hard to be here right now.”
“Call me if you need anything.” Sydney smiled.
“Of course. Thank you, Weiss.” He nodded and walked away as Sydney pulled a hasty retreat. As she headed out, she kept her eyes out for Marshall, whom she’d yet to see since her return, and Dixon, who’d spoken to her only briefly. She spotted neither of them, and headed to the parking garage. Sydney approached her car apprehensively, half expecting Sark to have been brazen enough to enter the CIA parking garage and leave her another note.
She sighed as she found nothing, though she couldn’t truly say if it had been a sigh of relief, or disappointment.
When she got home, she found Will busily scrawling something on a pad of paper. His pencil stopped moving as he caught sight of her. His glance swung to the clock in the kitchen before he looked her way again.
“Geez Syd, it’s past 6… what the hell did they do, interrogate you?”
“May as well have…” she muttered. Will grimaced.
“Sorry… hit a nerve?” She shrugged off his concern.
“Will, right now, I don’t think there’s anything that won’t hit a nerve.” He glanced down at his hands, before facing her again, a apologetic look on his face.
“Well… this is definitely going to touch upon a sore spot…” she looked at him curiously.
“What is?”
“Uh… Vaughn called.” Sydney blinked.
“What?”
“He wants to talk to you… in person.” Will stood quickly as he noticed Sydney going pale.
“I don’t think I can handle that right now…” she mumbled, rubbing her head with her left hand.
“I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea right now.” She gave him a grateful look.
“Thanks Will.”
“Don’t mention it,” he replied, sitting down to resume his writing.
“What’re you working on?”
“Article on Germany,” he answered briefly.
“Oh… have you been there?”
“Very shortly, last year.” Sydney wandered over to grab a bottle of water before making her way back to him.
“Will… is everything ok?” He paused, biting on the end of his pencil, before replying.
“It’s just… it’s so hard, Sydney.” She pulled out a chair and sat next to him.
“What, the article?” He laughed lightly, shaking his head.
“No… it’s 4-7 pages of talking about how wonderful Germany is. Easiest thing I’ve ever had to write.” Sydney leaned back, looking perplexed, and Will sighed.
“Syd… you can be so unbelievably dense sometimes.” She seemed completely taken aback at his words, and he laughed again.
“Ok… well maybe I am, but I still have no clue what you’re thinking.” He nodded.
“Let’s just keep it that way for now.”
“What? You’re not going to tell me?”
“I will eventually, but right now is just horrible timing… I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“I was the one who asked about it,” Sydney reminded him.
“Technicality,” he mumbled.
“Will, please… I need to know there’s someone I can trust to be honest with me.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Ok… fine. But don’t day I didn’t warn you that the timing is crappy.”
“I’ll remember that,” Sydney promised. Will nodded slowly, but before he could reply, the doorbell rang. He and Sydney exchanged confused looks.
“Are you expecting someone?” she asked. He shook his head.
“No… I take it you aren’t either?” Sydney stood and started towards the door, then faced Will again.
“Wait… but we-“
“Can talk later,” Will cut in. “We’ve got time.” Sydney hesitated until the doorbell sounded again. With an abrupt sigh, she hurried over and opened it, gaping in a mix of shock and anger when she saw the visitor.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded. Will, overhearing her strained voice, appeared behind her a moment later, frowning as he caught sight of him.
“Look, I think we need to talk,” Vaughn stated. Sydney glared at him unflinchingly.
“I agree… but not now, not here.”
“I think this is the perfect setting.”
“Your opinion doesn’t mean a damn thing to me anymore, Vaughn.” Will saw the pain register in Vaughn’s eyes, but he quickly shook it off.
“Syd, I know-“ she cut him off angrily.
“Do not call me Syd… you don’t have that right anymore.” Vaughn’s jaw clenched.
“Fine. Agent Bristow, I’ve heard-“ she interrupted again.
“Ok, now you’re just mocking me.” He gave no reply, and she shook her head in frustration. “Way to earn points there Vaughn.”
“You know what, I’m not leaving until we’ve talked.” Vaughn crossed his arms and stared at her, waiting for a response. She nodded slowly.
“If that’s how it’s gonna be…” she turned and stormed to her room. Will, after shooting Vaughn a glare, chased after her. He found her pulling on a pair of shoes.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I guess we’ll have to talk even later,” she mumbled, avoiding his question. She finished tying her shoes and started for the door. Will caught her arm and pulled her back.
“What are you doing?”
“There’s something I need to tell you before you go out there.”
“We’ll talk later… I promise.”
“No… no, it’s something different.” Recognizing the repentant look on his face, Sydney took a step back.
“What’s going on?”
“Um… he sorta knows.”
“Knows what?”
“Well, about…” he trailed off, eyes trained firmly on his feet. Sydney groaned.
“You told him about Sark?”
“I didn’t mean to Syd, it just… I don’t know, slipped out.”
“Will, I trusted you!”
“I know, I’m sorry… I was worried. Look, all he knows is that Sark showed up here… he doesn’t even know you talked to him, or… anything else that happened.”
“Why’d you tell me? That he knew, I mean.”
“I didn’t want you to go out there and face him without knowing that ahead of time.” She rubbed her forehead, and looked at him a few moments later.
“Thank you. But we are still going to talk later.” A small smile played over his lips.
“Ok.” He walked her back to where Vaughn still stood, waiting. Feeling it wasn’t his place to be involved, Will gave Sydney’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze before turning to continue work on his article. Sydney grabbed hold of his hand as he tried to slip away, keeping him firmly anchored next to her. Understanding that she needed his support, he stayed
“Vaughn, I’ll ask again… please, let it wait for another time.”
“Sydney, I told you… I’m not leaving until we talk. This is too important to simply brush aside.” A potent mix of pain and anger covered Sydney’s face at this remark.
“We are talking about two years of my life that I have lost, Vaughn! I am not simply… brushing it aside. How dare you even imply that?” He had the decency to look suitably apologetic, but Sydney wouldn’t allow him to speak again. “And if you refuse to leave- which, really, Will should call the cops on you for. There must be a million laws to protect people against things like this- but if you’re not leaving… then I am.” Will looked bewildered as she suddenly shoved past Vaughn and took off down the street. After a moment of confusion, Vaughn turned to follow her, but was stopped by Will.
“Do not go after her,” he warned before shutting the door. Dejected, Vaughn returned to his car, staring down the street in the direction Sydney had taken. Knowing full well that giving chase would now be pointless, he angrily slammed his palms against the steering wheel before starting the car and heading in the opposite direction.
For her part, Sydney covered only three blocks before slowing to a walk in a small park she had frequented in the past. She headed for the bench closest to her, but began to steer away as she realized that someone else already occupied it. Another thought occurred to her, and she again redirected herself towards the bench. Mere seconds later, she was sitting next to Sark. He looked at her calmly, and the strength radiating from his blue eyes was enough to soothe her frayed nerves. She frowned and leaned back.
“Enough of this cryptic felgercarb. I want answers, and I want them now.”
 
Me gusta!! Awesome chapter, more evanescence, and great story! What more could I ask from a fanfic? hehe update again soon and i love it :D
 
Chapter 4

Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me into madness
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away
~Evanescence, Whisper




Sark stared at Sydney for a long moment, before refocusing his gaze on the sky above them.
“Fascinating, aren’t they? The stars, that is. Anyone can see them, plain as day… yet how many people truly know them?”
“I said enough cryptic talk. I don’t care what kind of metaphor that’s supposed to be… all I care about is knowing what happened to me, why I have two years of my life missing.”
“That doesn’t explain why you’re sitting next to me.”
“Because you know, damn it!” she stood up and began pacing, Sark watching in slight amusement. She stopped momentarily and stared at him intently.
“You do know… don’t you?” Seeing the pain and uncertainty sheltered in her eyes, Sark sighed and gave in as she resumed her pacing.
“I know… some of it. I don’t know the full two years, just a portion of it.” Sydney’s mind abruptly flashed back to the dream she’d had. You’ll know… seven months, he’d said. She’d originally been afraid that meant it would take seven months for her to find the truth. Now, in light of what Sark had just said, it all made sense. She whirled to face him again.
“Seven months.” He looked mildly surprised, nodding slowly.
“Yes… you remember?”
“No… but I had a dream the other night… and you said seven months.” Sark raised an eyebrow.
“You’ve been dreaming about me?” she shot him a glare.
“Don’t get any ideas.” He merely smirked in response.
“Yes, I know of your whereabouts for the seven months prior to your… appearance in Hong Kong.”
“Why won’t you tell me?” she asked softly.
“Because this is something you need to realize on your own. Besides which, I highly doubt you’d believe the things I could tell you.”
“And yet this little game of yours allows for you to leave mysterious notes in my car?” Sark smiled lightly.
“The proverbial rules of this game say nothing about giving you minor hints.” Sydney threw her hands up in frustration.
“Damn it Adam, this isn’t fair! Everything about-“ she abruptly cut herself off mid-tirade, and stood there motionless for a moment, before slowly facing him. She discovered a look of utter shock on his face that soon melted into a full-fledged smile. She blinked in surprise.
“Did I just… is that really your…” he nodded, the smile still firmly in place. “Adam… Adam Sark.”
“The one and only,” he said lightly. She slowly sat back down next to him, a bit closer this time.
“Those seven months… we were together.” He hesitated in replying, not sure if it really needed a response.
“Yes.”
“Doing what?” There was another silence, only this time, he wasn’t the one to break it. “You don’t want to tell me,” Sydney deduced.
“I still feel it’s in your own best interests to remember it for yourself. Not only will it become a true part of your memory, which wouldn’t necessarily be so if you were to simply hear it from me, but there’s also the fact that I’m not yet sure you’d believe me.”
“Look, Sar- Adam, with everything that’s happened in the short time I’ve been home, I’m inclined to believe whatever you may have to tell me.”
“Which I find even more troublesome. In that case, I could make up anything, and you might believe it.” Sydney rubbed her jaw thoughtfully, but made no reply. “Do you understand my reasoning?” Sark asked.
“Yes, I do… but I don’t think you can possibly realize how much this is tearing me up. It seems like I’m completely out of the loop on everything, including my own life… and I hate it.”
“I can understand that, to an extent. And I hope you believe me when I say I’d like nothing more than to make it all right again. But Sydney, you’re the only one who can do that.” There was an amiable silence until Sydney spoke again.
“I have all these… images in my mind, just small flashes of memory, not enough to really grasp, but enough to… to know it feels right.”
“What feels right?”
“This.” She gently took his face in her hands and lowered her lips to his. He was initially shocked, but deepened the kiss moments later. Before it could progress any further, a startled voice interrupted them.
“What the hell is going on here?” Sydney and Sark instantly broke apart and jumped to their feet to find Vaughn staring at them.
“What concern is it of yours?” Sydney demanded.
“Oh, you mean aside from the fact that you’re sitting here kissing an internationally wanted terrorist who escaped from CIA custody nine months ago?”
“Whoever I decide to kiss is not your business anymore, Vaughn, and neither is his status on the CIA watch list. You’re no longer Agent Vaughn, and I’m no longer your girlfriend.” Her words seemed to be a shot to the heart, and Vaughn barely managed to stumble over a reply.
“Look, Syd, you don’t understand-“
“Understand what, Vaughn? The fact that you got married? You’re wrong… I do understand. I may despise it- as well as you, at the moment- but I understand it. The difference is, you’ve had two years to adjust to the things that have changed, and I’ve had two weeks.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
“I know,” she replied. “Something I have to know… just one thing. Did you ever… were you in love with me?” A mix of confusion and pain covered Vaughn’s face with that question.
“Syd, yes… of course. You know that. I sti-“
“No! Whatever you’re going to say… don’t. Please, just don’t. Vaughn, you have a wife now, and I refuse to allow myself to be put in the middle at all. I meant what I said earlier- I can’t handle seeing you right now.”
“I know. I started to go home, but I just couldn’t leave things like that. So I turned around and came after you. Are you sure it’s safe for me to leave you with him?” he questioned, his eyes drifting to where Sark stood, watching the interchange. Sydney answered without hesitation.
“Yes.” With nothing more than a nod, Vaughn walked away. Sydney collapsed onto the bench, rubbing her forehead tiredly.
“Are you all right?” Sark questioned, making himself as comfortable as possible on the cool wooden seat.
“Yeah… I just don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
“How it can be possible to feel this way about two different men.” Sark said nothing, silently urging her to continue. “I loved Vaughn… but that was two years ago. Everything’s changed. Those feelings won’t just disappear, but at the same time, I can feel that you and I- whatever we had- is right. I may not remember it, but I know it’s real.”
“Yet again, Sydney, the only one who can sort these things out is you; no one else has the answer. And until you can understand and make sense of all that you currently know, I will not add anymore for you to figure out. Just remember one thing Sydney: this above all, to thine own self be true.” She gave him a weakened smile, and a moment later, he was gone.
 
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