Redeeming Vaughn: Faith

Nov 18, 2003
I wrote this mainly because I haven’t liked how wishy-washy Vaughn has been this season, and I so am redeeming him by writing the conversation I think both Sydney and Vaughn deserve. The first part would happen within the week after they got back from North Korea. The second part is based on the preview for the next episode (after “After Six”), where Sark holds a gun to Sydney’s head and tells Vaughn that if he loves Sydney, he’ll put the gun down. For this story, I am assuming Vaughn won’t find out that it’s Lauren in front of him (in the preview).


“Before you leave, we should talk.” Sydney looks up from the file she is studying for her next mission to St. Petersburg. Vaughn will be monitoring her from L.A. for this mission, but he’s noticed her distractibility in the last mission they went on together.
“About what?” Vaughn stops and thinks a minute.
“I’ve been going back and forth in my head, trying to decide if you’d want to talk about it. I mean, it’s been awhile, I know. I realize it’s made things even more difficult.”
“Yes. I hoped you weren’t thinking I was never going to mention what happened.”
“I didn’t know.” Vaughn looks down. “It’s awkward, Vaughn. I know that.” Sydney looks uncomfortably around, as they are talking in the middle of operations.
“Come here.” Vaughn puts his hand on her back and leads her into another room. Sydney sighs and looks at him.
“Look, I realize that with the situation, you might have been feeling--desperation.” Vaughn’s forehead furrows, as he is obviously hurt by this comment.
“Desperation? What? No, Sydney, I’m not trying to talk to you now to take back what I said. We may have been in an extreme circumstance and I may not have said it otherwise, at least not that way, but it wasn’t a line. You know me. You know I haven’t just forgotten about you.” Sydney looks overwhelmed.
“Whether it’s true or not, I can’t let myself believe that it means anything. We’re still awkward, things still can’t be the way they used to be. We can barely even talk to each other.”
“I’m making a point of talking to you now. Syd, I know that what I said to you, even though it was true, was inappropriate. ” Sydney nods.
“Because you’re married.”
“Because I’m married and because I know it’s hard for you. I know I’m hurting you—by being there, then not being there, then being there again.”
“Being there?”
“For you. Being there for you. I’ve been inconsistent with you.”
“Vaughn, you’ve gone above and beyond what you’ve needed to do to help me.”
“Work-wise, mission-wise, yes, of course, we’ve always helped each other. Emotionally, I’m making things worse for you, aren’t I.” Sydney stares at him, with an unreadable expression on her face.
“Look, maybe I’m being overzealous, are you fine with where we are now?” Sydney sighs.
“Of course, it’s hard. I don’t want to step on your toes, or Lauren’s toes…”
“But what I told you in North Korea…”
“And then there’s that. Vaughn, I really thought you despised me before that. I mean, if it was an act, it was a good one. And then that.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve sent you in so many directions. I thought it would be easier for you to move on if I…made it easier for you.”
“By being an ass? Really, Vaughn, it doesn’t look good on you.” Vaughn laughs slightly, which brings Sydney to smile, just as slightly.
“So was it easier to think I was an ass or to know that I still have feelings for you?” Sydney shakes her head sadly.
“I hate knowing how much you’ve gone through. But how to handle all of this tactfully, that’s something that I don’t know how to do yet.”
“You live your life, Vaughn. You were okay before I returned, and now…”
“No, stop.” Vaughn shakes his head in frustration. ”Remember what you told me on the plane to North Korea, when you suggested that I was mad because you had messed up my life?”
“I never want you to think of your return as an inconvenience.” Sydney looks doubtful. “Ever.”
“I really didn’t think that, I just had no clue why you were acting…”
“Like a jerk.”
“And you’re not a jerk.” Sydney is talking passionately.
“Sydney, how things are…uncomfortable, tense, however you want to call this mess…your return, no matter how complicated it was for me, was the greatest relief in my life.” Sydney tries to stop her emotions. “You have to know that! God, don’t you know that?”
Struggling: “Vaughn, I couldn’t possibly take your perspective of seeing me two years later, coming back from the dead. I didn’t know how you felt after all that time. Everything was turned upside down. You were with Lauren. You’re still with Lauren.”
“My feelings for you haven’t changed.” Both are getting emotional. He pauses. “I’ve tried to change them, I’ve tried to be an honest husband. But they don’t change, no matter what I do. Which makes me even more of a jerk.”
“The circumstances aren’t your fault.”
“I’m in love with another woman!” Sydney looks shocked, as Vaughn has never said this to her. “I don’t want to be that guy, but I am. And it’s not fair to you or Lauren.” Sydney is speechless. “I guess I’m asking you to let me figure this out. It will take time and, like I said, tactfulness.” He pauses, as they both watch each other for a moment. “I just need time. And I should warn you, Lauren will most likely be hostile towards you.”
“You’re going to tell her?”
“I already did.”
“Wow.” She shakes her head. “I’m sure eventually, it will be okay. Women love honesty...”
“No Sydney. That’s not it.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Lauren is a wonderful, strong woman and I know why I married her. But when I said that there’s only one person…Sydney, it’s you, not her.” Vaughn is visibly upset. “That’s not an honest husband. God. I will sort this out, Syd.” Vaughn starts to say something, stops, and then looks at her again. “No matter what happens with us, would you really respect me if I didn’t try to handle this the right way with Lauren? Sydney?”
“I understand, I know. Whatever you need to do, I’ll understand.” Vaughn looks at her, suddenly coy and careful. (This would be the perfect time for Cheryl Crow’s “I Shall Believe” from the end of the episode when Vaughn gets sick in season 2)
“Since you’ve been back, you’re the same, amazing person I always knew. No matter what I try not to think about, I don’t forget that. You’re incredible, and I haven’t lost faith in that. While I’m figuring this out, just…” he stops, then looks directly into her eyes, “have a little faith in me.” (or they could use the actual “Have a Little Faith in Me” song) Sydney slowly smiles the warmest smile Vaughn has seen in over two years. She’s obviously touched. She gently touches his arm, and leaves.

(After the confrontation with Sark and Lauren…I’m assuming they had to escape.)

Sydney runs to the car and catches her breath as Vaughn jerks the car between a tight opening in the fence and speeds away. He then turns around to see if Sark is out of sight, turns the car to an abrupt stop and looks intently at Sydney.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” She realizes what Vaughn is about to discuss. “Look, Sark is just playing off of our relationship to take our focus away from the mission. Sloane did it too when I first got back, remember? They try to mess with us. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Really.”
“It is though. Sydney, the way things are now are becoming no different from the way they were back when you were still with SD-6, when we couldn’t be together. I dedicated my job and my life to trying to protect you, whether you needed it or not. You became my greatest priority and you still are.”
“No, Vaughn, please, don’t tell me this. I understand you need time, but I can’t keep hearing these things that I want so badly in my heart to believe, but I know…”
“I’m telling you I’ve made up my mind. You can’t be my priority if I’m with Lauren.” Sydney looks shocked and then looks away, trying to accept what she thinks he means.
“Okay. Okay, so, we should make a switch…”
“No, you don’t understand.” He stops and realizes he’s said this wrong. He catches her gaze intently, willing her to listen. “Sydney, this whole time I’ve been trying to save face by doing what’s supposed to be right in a marriage. My pride has stopped me from actually doing what I know the right thing really is. It’s time for me to stop, as “dysfunctional” as it makes me feel. My dedication, my devotion, whether you need it or want it or not, is to you.”
“That’s it Sydney. My mind is made up. I don’t want your reaction to this to change what I do. If you tell me it doesn’t matter, I still need to do this.” Sydney sits back. She doesn’t say anything for a long time.
“Are you cold? I could turn on the…” Sydney interrupts him, leaning over him with a passionate, full-mouthed kiss, putting her hand behind his head and pulling him towards her. She is crying. Vaughn takes her and holds her, kissing her. She finally breaks away.
“I don’t know if that was the appropriate thing to do just now, but I wanted you to know how much I’ve missed you!” Vaughn closes his eyes and hugs her. She sighs. “But you’re still married.”
“Well, it’s not like I haven’t already been a cheating husband.” Sydney looks at him with pity. “But you took my pride away again.”
“I wanted to kiss you first.”

Quiet Disaster

I heart Chris Carrabba
May 4, 2003
chagall_lover said:
“Since you’ve been back, you’re the same, amazing person I always knew. No matter what I try not to think about, I don’t forget that. You’re incredible, and I haven’t lost faith in that. While I’m figuring this out, just…” he stops, then looks directly into her eyes, “have a little faith in me.” (or they could use the actual “Have a Little Faith in Me” song) Sydney slowly smiles the warmest smile Vaughn has seen in over two years. She’s obviously touched. She gently touches his arm, and leaves.
my favorite part. :) is this just a one-parter or is there more?


May 8, 2003
this is really good cant wait for more pm me when more is up thanks so much and again good story and cant wait for more


Feb 14, 2004
:lovers: Ohh thats so cute.. I LOVE IT!!!! :D
please PM when you have updated...good job (y) give me more :jump:
Vaughn is an Angel :angelic:

Nancy O

Dec 23, 2003
Just found this and I enjoyed reading it. Please PM me when you update again. Thank you.
Nov 18, 2003
Well, that's all I kind of had for now. I don't really know where to go with Vaughn getting a divorce and stuff. I just wish Vaughn would do what I wrote in real life! I'm glad everyone likes it.
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