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Alias/Austin Powers Crossover

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by kylo4, Apr 4, 2003.

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  1. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Tell me if you like this Alias/Austin Powers Fanfic. Your feedback would be much appreciated.
    All Alias characters were created by the very talented J.J. Abrams and all Austin Powers characters were created by Actor Mike Meyers and Movie Director Jay Roach.
    The Alias/Austin Powers crossover Fic.
    "Sydney, you've got to go to London, England immediately!" Kendall ordered. He was the director of the C.I.A. and was commanding Sydney Bristow to leave immediately.
    "We just got reports in that your mother, Irina Derevko is there with Arvin Sloane."
    "Ok, I'll do it." Sydney replied. "But only if Vaughn or my father can come with me."
    "That's fine with me. But if it was me who decided, I'd take your father with you."
    "Sydney really wasn't looking forward to this. She was sick of searching for Arvin Sloane. Even though she knew that she had to kill him sooner or later. He could use the Rambaldi device that he had made for him to wipe out anything he wanted. But Sydney was wondering why he went to London, England for.
    "Odd place to go to." Sydney muttered to herself.
    "But I have to go there anyways to check it out.
    Sydney decided that she'd take her father with her. It's not like she had a choice. Her father Jack Bristow, was so protective of her that he didn't even trust agent Micheal Vaughn. Sydneys love. Even though Vaughn had saved her life on numerous occasions. But she wasn't in the mood for arguing. She just wanted to get this mission over with and fly back to the States again to spend time with Vaughn and her friends.
    So later that day she got onto the plane with her father and off she went....

    LONDON, ENGL[A]ND
    When she got to London, England she unloaded her things in the place that the C.I.A. set them up at. It was some unknown hidden hotel. They all knew that London, England was famous for many spies. But besides that, Sydney couldn't get Vaughn off her mind. Her father gave her the brief of what to do on the mission.
    "Ok Sydney. There are many things to do on this mission and here they are:
    We have to ask around about any odd and suspicious happenings and describe what Arvin Sloane and all the rest of them look like. It'll be simple detective work there. Then we have to use a fake alias and go to the Umpire military base, where the C.I.A. believes that there are some sort of plans or something that relate to the creation of the Rambaldi device and how to stop it. The thing that Sloane has. Then, last but not least, we have to try and locate Sloane, Derevko, Sark and the rest of those people and capture them or kill them and stop the Rambaldi device. You know, put it in the C.I.A.'s custody. Did you get all that?" Jack asked after his long mission speech.
    "Yes." Sydney replied in a sort of sarcastic tone.
    "It sounds easy to me." Sydney said sarcastically.
    "Don't be sarcastic!" Her father said back hastily.
    "It'll all be over soon, hopefully." With that, Jack and Sydney unpacked everything that they had brought and called it a night. They were going to have a long day tomorrow.

    THE NEXT D[A]Y
    As soon as Sydneys and Jcks alarm clock set off at 9:00 a.m. in the morning. (Jack had set it by the way.) They both got up, ate a quick breakfeast made by Jack, got dressed, and left. They drove around to the pool that they were supposed to go to, to question around.
    It was a place where they had hundreds of people and women there. It was kind of like a beach except it was with pools outside instead.
    Sydney and Jack were about to question some people that they were ordered to because the C.I.A. believed that these people probably knew something about them. When Sydney turned around and saw some guy with a really hairy chest dancing around all the girls.
    "Who the hell is that?" Jack asked the guy that he was supposed to question.
    "His name is Austin Powers." Replied the man.
    "He's a spy. And a very good one at that."
    Austin Powers looked at Sydney for a second and then stopped his dancing. He went over to Sydney and started talking to her.
    "Who might I say, are you my lady?" Austin asked.
    "I'm Sydney Bristow. I heard that you are a spy. Is it true.?"
    "Yah baby, I'm an international man of mystery, he,he,he,he,he,he!"
    "Are you on the good side?" Sydney asked Austin suspiciously.
    "Yah." Austin replied.
    "I'm looking for an I'me Erection. Do you know where she is?"
    "No."Sydney replied, trying not to laugh at the name.
    "I work for the British government and am very sexy baby, yah baby, yah."
    "I can see that." Sydney replied sarcastically.
    Jack asked Austin Powers if he wanted to come back to their hotel room to discuss things and Austin accepted.
    At Sydney's and Jack's room, Austin was talked to about everything on their mission. It turned out that his mission administrator Bazzle, had sent Austin on the same mission too. So they decided to go on it together afterthey notified the British government and the C.I.A. about their changed plans.
    Austin turned to Jack puzzled and grinning, and then he asked Jack.
    "This Irina Derevko chick. Is she sexy.?"
    After that question was asked, Sydney had to hold her fathers arm to refrain him from killing Austin.
    Austin gave an innocent look after.
    Jack told everyone that he was leaving to interrogate the people that were assigned and to make it less suspicious, Sydney andAustin should stay in the room where they were.
    "I'll be back in about a half hour to an hour at the most." Jack told everybody. Then he left.
    Sydney was left in the troom with Austin Powers.
    As soon as Jack left, Austin jumped onto the bed and started talking to Sydney while striking stupid poses on the bed.
    "Do I make you horny baby? Do I. Do I make you randy."
    "Oh shut up! You sex freak." Sydney yelled to him. Keep your mind on the mission. We have a long road ahead of us.

    What do you think so far. Please post your comments. I'll write more as soon as possible.
     
  2. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    OMG!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!! This is hilarious! "Oh shut up! You sex freak." I love it!!!!!!!!!!!! Post more!!!!
     
  3. Ilikesloane

    Ilikesloane Rocket Ranger

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    Dec 12, 2002
    OMG that is so funny :thumbup: :ROFLMAO:
     
  4. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    rotflmao!!!!!omg this is halarious!! plez write more!!! omg that just brightened my day!
     
  5. sbmv12

    sbmv12 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2003
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    Ill
    ok, WHATEVER!
     
  6. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
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    Ok, I'll post some more since you think it's funny.
    When Jack got back from questioning people, Sydney was trying not to break something. Then, Jack asked,
    "Where's Austin?"
    "He's in the bathroom." Sydney replied.
    When Jack knocked on the bathroom door, he heard Austins voice saying, "I'm a sexy beast baby. Yah!"
    Jack kicked the bathroom door open and Austin started yelling at Jack with that funny English accent of his.
    "What's your problem mate? I'm trying to take a wizz in the water device."
    Jack had had enough.
    "I've had enough of you! You are so annoying. Why don't you just go back to your room and never come back to this room again!" Jack yelled at Austin.
    Austin gave his innocent look and turned around to look at Sydney.
    "Baby, you are one totally shagadellic chick."
    Sydney looked as if she was going to kill him.
    "I'll have you know that I'm a professional..." Sydney wasn't able to finish her sentence before Austin interrupted.
    "Kama-Sutra master. I graduated from my class baby. Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha."
    Sydney was going to explode now.
    "I take my work seriously Mr. Powers. But in this case, you just make me want to kill you. What is your problem?"
    Austin replied smiling, his grungy yellow teeth making Sydney force herself to look away.
    "My problem is that I need to get my moooojo working or I can't get on the job."
    Sydney grabbed Austin Powers bag and swung it back behind her to throw the heavy bag of Austins stuff out the door. She was able to throw his stuff out the door when she realized that one of his things fell out. She picked it up and read it. Swedish made penis enlarger.
    Austin suddenly realized that Sydney had picked it up and responded to her almost immediately. She was totally grossed out at the site of it.
    "It's not mine, seriously."
    Sydney threw it out the door with the rest of his stuff. Austin was now no longer in their place with them.

    What do you think so far now. Post your comments. It would be much appreciated.
     
  7. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    OMG!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!! :ROFLMAO: I can see it!!!! More, more!
     
  8. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Austin left and was a bit upset.
    Later that day, Sydney began feeling really sorry for Austin. So, without her fathers permission, she slipped out of their place and went over to Austins.
    When she knocked on Austins door, Austin came out without a shirt on. There was some 60's music playing in the background.
    Austin invited Sydney in where Sydney gave him a long serious talk about the mission. Austin agreed to tone his behaviour down for her.
    Later, they were going to begin their mission again. Austin brought his little gun with him and his normal blue suit. He went to go to the Umpire military base with them.
    At the Umpire military base, they had fake Alias's except Austin. Everybody thought that he was wearing a halloween costume. His yellow teeth. He was just dressing normally. Anyways, Sydney and Jack and Austin were all able to pass through security together. They brought a tiny camera gadget with them to take pictures. When Sydney and Jack were taking pictures of the secret files, Austin was taking pictures of himself calling himself sexy. Sydney looked at him wierdly, and then went back to what she was doing.
    After they left, thay had all the information that they needed for that part of the mission. Two objectives were complted and there were still a few more to go.
    While they were driving in Austins car, they suddenly came to a stop. Austin hopped out and ran over to a guy who had baggy skin.
    "How's it going Fat Bastard?" Austin asked.
    "My skin no longer looks like a vagina." Fat Bastard replied.

    I'll post some more later. I hope you like it so far.
     
  9. spywolf

    spywolf Wicked Writer

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    Location:
    East Coast, USA
    This is great, hilarious! Oh, can Vaughn show up and want to beat up Austin for hitting on his girl? Anyway, please add more, what does fat bastard say to Sydney?
     
  10. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Sydney went over to the Fat Bastard man. He looked at Sydney and said,
    "My, she looks tasty. I'd love to eat her."
    Unfortunately, Sydney took out her gun and shot Fat Bastard in the leg.
    "Now look what you've done, you shot me and the bullet stuck in my flab you imbecile."
    Austin and the rest of them except Fat Bastard hopped into the car to drive back to their place.
    On the drive back to their place, Bazzle came up on Austins screen in his car.
    "Hello Austin." Bazzle said.
    "I'm sure that you can stop Goldmember from destroying a woman named Irina Derevko right."
    Austin yelled out, "CRIKEY!" and put the pedal to the metal.
    "Do you know where she is. I'd sure like to rough her up."
    By that point in time, Jack had had enough and he took out his gun and pistol whipped Austin in the neck. Austin was knocked out and Jack took the wheel.
    "Oh my!" Bazzle said.
    "Anyways." Bazzle continued.
    "She's near the I'veahuge Rectum srore on 654'th street.
    Jack was unfamiliar with the car because he was used to driving with the wheel on the left side of the car but he adjusted to it easily.
    Austin woke up when they all arrived at the I'veahuge Rectum place.
    They all hopped out of the car and loaded their guns. Austin whispered to Sydney,
    "I can't wait to get my hands on Irina Derevko baby. I hope she's a swingin chick."
    Sydney wanted to pistol whip Austin but Jack told her not too. He told her that he was important even if he was on drugs to make himself think he was handsome.

    When they got into the building, they saw another car behind them.
    "Oh my God!" Sydney gasped, "It's Vaughn!"
    "Is he sexy?" Austin asked. "Just kidding, just kidding. Don't take that seriously baby, yah!"
    I'll post more later or tomorrow. Hope you like it so far.
     
  11. Ilikesloane

    Ilikesloane Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    good job right more it is soo funny
     
  12. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    Vaughn came up to Sydney and looked at Austin and started laughing.
    "Is this guy wearing a halloween costume?" Vaughn asked Sydney.
    "I wish!" Sydney replied.

    Sydney went with Austin and Jack went with Vaughn. They were going to stop Sark.
    They went into the building and snuck around. They looked at all the guards, then they shot them all. Sydney blasted out the cameras too.
    "You're very aggressive." Austin told Sydney.
    "Why, thank you." Sydney replied.
    "That's the nicest thing I've heard you say for a long time."
    "What I was going to say." Austin continued.
    "Was, are you that aggressive in the bedrrom too baby?"
    Sydney didn't care about his crude sexual comments anymore. She just wanted to complete the mission.
    They stumbled upon the room where Irina was. Sloane was gone. Same with Sark. But Goldmember and Irina were there.
    "Holy shishcabob!" Austin yelled, looking at Irina.
    "She is one sexy lady. Mind if we shag now, or shall we shag later baby."
    Irina tried not to laugh, even though she was really evil.
    Goldmember looked at Sydney.
    "My,my,my. We've got a fancy one here, don't we?"
    Sysney took one look at the bulge in Goldmembers pants and shot him there.
    "You didn't think it was real did you? I stuff it with Gold."
    Sydney looked disgusted. "This has definitley got to come to an end." She said.
    They broke out into firing.
    Austin couldn't concentrate though. He was too focused on Irina's butt.
    "Wow!" Austin kept saying to himself.
    "I'd love to fight her using some of my gadgets. Yah!"
    Austin went face to face with Irina with no weapons.
    Austin went for first attack.
    "Judo chop!" He yelled to Irina.
    "I wish it was something else though." He quickly muttered after.
    Irina blocked Austin and kicked him right in his grapevine.
    "Ooh, that felt good!" Austin yelled out.
    Sydney slapped her head.
    "Man, this guy's a nut. A sexual predator at that."

    What do you think now. Please post your comments. It would be much appreciated.
    kylo4
     
  13. liliana

    liliana Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003
    Location:
    South Africa
    um okay good fic i don't like austin powers all that much but i liked it
     
  14. crazy_4_alias

    crazy_4_alias Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    OH MAN!!!!! ROTFLMAO! :ROFLMAO: I hope Jack KILLS Austin! This is hilarious! And did I mention it's funny?
     
  15. Ilikesloane

    Ilikesloane Rocket Ranger

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    Dec 12, 2002
    LOL :sideroll:
     
  16. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    OMG!!!!! this has to be the funniest crossover ever!!!!! omg!!! its hahalarious!hahahahaha!!!111lolololololololol lmao!!!!! rothflmao!
     
  17. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    OMG!!!!! this has to be the funniest crossover ever!!!!! omg!!! its hahalarious!hahahahaha!!!111lolololololololol lmao!!!!! rothflmao!
     
  18. Chanel

    Chanel Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2003
    OMG!!!!! this has to be the funniest crossover ever!!!!! omg!!! its hahalarious!hahahahaha!!!111lolololololololol lmao!!!!! rothflmao!
     
  19. Sophie

    Sophie in love

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Location:
    France
    really funny, LOL, MDR, PTDR !!
     
  20. kylo4

    kylo4 Rocket Ranger

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2003
    Location:
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    I hate to have to do this to another one of my fanfics, but CLOSING!!!!
    kylo4
     

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