StAgEpRiNcEsS
Cadet
OMG, do not tell me that Jack has radiation-induced mutation in S4 ... that would just be pathetic.
GAH! This is great!
GAH! This is great!
ALIAS Top Ten Lists (with apologies to Letterman)
- Thread starter NumberSix
- Start date
ms.katejones
Cadet
Top Ten Reasons Katya Derevko is Glad to Be in Prison:
10) She’s finally found the time to read The Da Vinci Code.
9) She’s been able to catch up on her soaps.
8) She was getting sick of all that Rambaldi felgercarb anyway.
7) Two words: No. Rent.
6) Three words: Prison. Beauty. Pageant. (She’s planning to sing “Mother Russia” by Iron Maiden.)
5) She’s really making progress with the prison psychologist. She’s even decided that next time she runs into Vaughn she might apologize for stabbing him.
4) Prison uniforms are way more comfortable than SVR uniforms.
3) The bad food has made it easy to keep her New Years Resolution to drop five pounds in time for bathing suit season.
2) Conjugal visits from Jack.
And the number one reason Katya Derevko is Glad to Be in Prison:
1) The prison barbers have that man haircut down to a science.
10) She’s finally found the time to read The Da Vinci Code.
9) She’s been able to catch up on her soaps.
8) She was getting sick of all that Rambaldi felgercarb anyway.
7) Two words: No. Rent.
6) Three words: Prison. Beauty. Pageant. (She’s planning to sing “Mother Russia” by Iron Maiden.)
5) She’s really making progress with the prison psychologist. She’s even decided that next time she runs into Vaughn she might apologize for stabbing him.
4) Prison uniforms are way more comfortable than SVR uniforms.
3) The bad food has made it easy to keep her New Years Resolution to drop five pounds in time for bathing suit season.
2) Conjugal visits from Jack.
And the number one reason Katya Derevko is Glad to Be in Prison:
1) The prison barbers have that man haircut down to a science.
StAgEpRiNcEsS
Cadet
lol ... please put a warning for s4 spoilers!
keep it up though!
keep it up though!sparkling_sapphire89
Cadet
sydneyluvsvaughn4eva said:
MissingSark said:
labrat said:
labrat said:
OMG what else can i say but HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!ms.katejones said:
lol these r killing my sides so funnie....
talking to one of my friends on MSN at the same time our descotion is as follows
..........
<o> says:
number 1 thing to do b4 the end of the day : Travel from room to room by way of the air ducts.
Timbo--> does anyone know the number 94159877? they tried calling me yesterday says:
wat if u dont have air ducts
<o> says:
lol ill get back to u try army rolling around the house till then
Timbo--> does anyone know the number 94159877? they tried calling me yesterday says:
right o
man he just does not get it ......
talking to one of my friends on MSN at the same time our descotion is as follows
..........
<o> says:
number 1 thing to do b4 the end of the day : Travel from room to room by way of the air ducts.
Timbo--> does anyone know the number 94159877? they tried calling me yesterday says:
wat if u dont have air ducts
<o> says:
lol ill get back to u try army rolling around the house till then
Timbo--> does anyone know the number 94159877? they tried calling me yesterday says:
right o
man he just does not get it ......
ams4alias
Cadet
TOP TEN REASONS FOR SYDNEY TO GO TO WORK NAKED...
10. Kendall is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
9. She can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on her tan.
8. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
7. To stop those creepy guys in Op-tech from looking down her blouse.
6. She wants to see if it's like the dream.
5. So that with a little help from Muzak she can add "Exotic Dancer" to her exaggerated resume.
4. People stop stealing her pens after they've seen where she keeps them.
3. Diverts attention from the fact that she also came to work drunk.
2. No one steals her chair.
And the number one reason why Sydney should go to work naked is…
1.Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
TOP 10 REASONS WHY SARK FAVORS HANDGUNS OVER WOMEN
10 - You can trade in an old 44 for a new 22, no questions asked.
9 – you can keep one handgun at home, and have another for when your on the road.
8 – If you admire a friend’s handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
7 – Your primary handgun doesn’t mind if you keep another handgun for a back up.
6 – Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
5 - A handgun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.
4 – Handguns function normally every day of the month.
3 - A handgun doesn’t ask, “Do these new grips make me look fat?”
2 - A handgun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason Sark favours handguns over women is…
1 – You can buy a silencer for the handgun.
10. Kendall is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
9. She can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on her tan.
8. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
7. To stop those creepy guys in Op-tech from looking down her blouse.
6. She wants to see if it's like the dream.
5. So that with a little help from Muzak she can add "Exotic Dancer" to her exaggerated resume.
4. People stop stealing her pens after they've seen where she keeps them.
3. Diverts attention from the fact that she also came to work drunk.
2. No one steals her chair.
And the number one reason why Sydney should go to work naked is…
1.Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
TOP 10 REASONS WHY SARK FAVORS HANDGUNS OVER WOMEN
10 - You can trade in an old 44 for a new 22, no questions asked.
9 – you can keep one handgun at home, and have another for when your on the road.
8 – If you admire a friend’s handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
7 – Your primary handgun doesn’t mind if you keep another handgun for a back up.
6 – Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
5 - A handgun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.
4 – Handguns function normally every day of the month.
3 - A handgun doesn’t ask, “Do these new grips make me look fat?”
2 - A handgun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason Sark favours handguns over women is…
1 – You can buy a silencer for the handgun.
MissingSark
Cadet
ams4alias said:
These are absolutely hysterical! Love them! Great job!
From the DSR Maximum Security Rambaldi Holding Facility...
TOP TEN THINGS WE MIGHT HEAR JACK BRISTOW SAYING IN THE NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE:
10. I can't believe I owe that bastard Sloane my life...again!
9. Sydney, that reminds me, have you been keeping up your piano practice?
8. Terrific, Laura and little Sydney and the happiest time of my life are a dream, Sark, Sloane, and the Derevko Demons are the real thing. I have all the luck.
7. Arvin Cloane...like one of them wasn't sufficient?!
6. Katya Derevko pointed a gun at Sydney's head and pulled the trigger last season...somebody remind me, why haven't I terminated her for that?
5. ANOTHER Derevko?! They're coming out of the woodwork!
4. What do you mean, there was no budget for bug detectors when they built APO HQ?
3. Yes, I have a cat. You got a problem with that?
2. Why the blinking heck couldn't Milo Rambaldi have just taken up knitting or something if he was that bored?!
and the number one thing we might hear Jack Bristow saying in the not too distant future...
1. Next time, I'm using a wooden stake!!!
TOP TEN THINGS WE MIGHT HEAR JACK BRISTOW SAYING IN THE NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE:
10. I can't believe I owe that bastard Sloane my life...again!
9. Sydney, that reminds me, have you been keeping up your piano practice?
8. Terrific, Laura and little Sydney and the happiest time of my life are a dream, Sark, Sloane, and the Derevko Demons are the real thing. I have all the luck.
7. Arvin Cloane...like one of them wasn't sufficient?!
6. Katya Derevko pointed a gun at Sydney's head and pulled the trigger last season...somebody remind me, why haven't I terminated her for that?
5. ANOTHER Derevko?! They're coming out of the woodwork!
4. What do you mean, there was no budget for bug detectors when they built APO HQ?
3. Yes, I have a cat. You got a problem with that?
2. Why the blinking heck couldn't Milo Rambaldi have just taken up knitting or something if he was that bored?!
and the number one thing we might hear Jack Bristow saying in the not too distant future...
1. Next time, I'm using a wooden stake!!!
StAgEpRiNcEsS
Cadet
TOP TEN WAYS TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR Alias/ ESPECIALLY Irina-DEPRIVATION:
10. Scream.
9. Write threatening/demanding/pleading letters to whatever channel it is you have that is being an ignorant ugly bunch of meanie poo nincompoops.
8. Hang up Russian flags all over your house.
7. Draw swirly codes in all your books.
6. Demand that your mother buys you a first-edition copy of Alice in Wonderland.
5. Cry every time you see your mother.
4. Jump out of a train every time your parents fight.
3. Tell your mom you are going to find the nukes she's hidden whether she likes it or not.
2. Request for your mom to be able to walk on the roof for 15 minutes each week.
and the number one way to help you with your Irina-deprivation?
1. Scream.
*this one is mainly for those who actually ARE being deprived of Alias, ie ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Damn channel 7.
10. Scream.
9. Write threatening/demanding/pleading letters to whatever channel it is you have that is being an ignorant ugly bunch of meanie poo nincompoops.
8. Hang up Russian flags all over your house.
7. Draw swirly codes in all your books.
6. Demand that your mother buys you a first-edition copy of Alice in Wonderland.
5. Cry every time you see your mother.
4. Jump out of a train every time your parents fight.
3. Tell your mom you are going to find the nukes she's hidden whether she likes it or not.
2. Request for your mom to be able to walk on the roof for 15 minutes each week.
and the number one way to help you with your Irina-deprivation?
1. Scream.
*this one is mainly for those who actually ARE being deprived of Alias, ie ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Damn channel 7.
DreamOutLoud
Cadet
NumberSix said:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Lemon-Krumpitz
Cadet
Alrighty this my attempt at being funny...
Top Ten Reasons Why Jack Should Have Realized Laura Was A Spy
10. She always got excited when they passed a Wig Shop
9. When Jack asked her if she'd heard about a man being murdered she mumbled "Well I had to. My boss ordered me to!"
8. Shadowy people Laura happened to bump into on the street kept saying "Excuse me Irina"
7. When Jack happened to glance at Laura's "secret" diary at the bottom it read
Till I Write Again Diary... love,
"The Man"
6. The piece of jewerly Laura gave Sydney for her 4th birthday started beeping while Jack was making out with Laura
5. Whenever Jack asked Laura what a Russian word was in English she'd reply "Oh! That's an easy one!"
4. The first time she met Bill Vaughn she asked him "How do you feel about dying?"
3. She threatened to leave Jack if he kept asking her questions about her "sisters"
2. Strange people would call at three o' clock in the morning whispering "The eagle has flown repeat the eagle has flown" These strange calls only came when Jack was on a "business trip" (This one's dumb...)
And the number one reason....
1. She had alot of special friends
Top Ten Reasons Why Jack Should Have Realized Laura Was A Spy
10. She always got excited when they passed a Wig Shop
9. When Jack asked her if she'd heard about a man being murdered she mumbled "Well I had to. My boss ordered me to!"
8. Shadowy people Laura happened to bump into on the street kept saying "Excuse me Irina"
7. When Jack happened to glance at Laura's "secret" diary at the bottom it read
Till I Write Again Diary... love,
"The Man"
6. The piece of jewerly Laura gave Sydney for her 4th birthday started beeping while Jack was making out with Laura
5. Whenever Jack asked Laura what a Russian word was in English she'd reply "Oh! That's an easy one!"
4. The first time she met Bill Vaughn she asked him "How do you feel about dying?"
3. She threatened to leave Jack if he kept asking her questions about her "sisters"
2. Strange people would call at three o' clock in the morning whispering "The eagle has flown repeat the eagle has flown" These strange calls only came when Jack was on a "business trip" (This one's dumb...)
And the number one reason....
1. She had alot of special friends
Lemon-Krumpitz
Cadet
I didnt mean it like that. Well not exactly... Yup yup.
Don't mess with us! Hehe.Riley xoxo
Alias=Life
Cadet
Top 10 Favourite Irina Quotes
10.) "You haven't told her what you did to her after I disappeared... have you?"
9.) "Sydney? Interesting..."
8.) "Because I'm your mother"
7.) "Tell me how you feel about my daughter. Are you in love with her?"
6.) "I didn't do it for you"
5.) "Agent Vaughn has trouble sleeping, when you're in the field"
4.) "I'd say you were setting me up to be killed... or I underestimated the love for
your wife"
3.) You don't need to know, you want to know. There's a difference"
2.) "I've given you a gift, and all you get from me... is one"
1.) "Truth Takes Time"
10.) "You haven't told her what you did to her after I disappeared... have you?"
9.) "Sydney? Interesting..."
8.) "Because I'm your mother"
7.) "Tell me how you feel about my daughter. Are you in love with her?"
6.) "I didn't do it for you"
5.) "Agent Vaughn has trouble sleeping, when you're in the field"
4.) "I'd say you were setting me up to be killed... or I underestimated the love for
your wife"
3.) You don't need to know, you want to know. There's a difference"
2.) "I've given you a gift, and all you get from me... is one"
1.) "Truth Takes Time"
Lemon-Krumpitz
Cadet
Top Ten Reasons Why Sydney Might Leave APO/CIA/.... everything else....
10. She's tired of having all her bosses be men. (Feminist power)
9. Marshall? With a gun? Oh man....
8. Four people she loved have been killed because of her job. Or maybe it was five... it's hard to keep track...
7. She hasnt seen Sark in a while. That's only reason she went on those life-threatning missions... those eyes
6. Just when she thought Rambaldi was over... he came back
5. She's tired of her dad always yelling "Are you sure you're decripting that right?"
Just once she'd like to her him say "That's perfect honey" or at least "I love you"
4. She's tired of going to Moscow, Russia. She'd rather go to the one in Kentucky (Yes there is a Moscow, Kentucky...)
3. All these wierd names like The Covenant and APO are starting to confuse her. I mean can we get some cooler rogue agency names?
2. She'd like to see what working at a bank is really like....
1. Before she had Arvin Sloane to deal with. Now she has Arvin Clone to. Soon there's going to be a third one! You know what they say 'Third one's a charm'
These really arent funny. But I have nothing else to do...
10. She's tired of having all her bosses be men. (Feminist power
)9. Marshall? With a gun? Oh man....
8. Four people she loved have been killed because of her job. Or maybe it was five... it's hard to keep track...
7. She hasnt seen Sark in a while. That's only reason she went on those life-threatning missions... those eyes
6. Just when she thought Rambaldi was over... he came back
5. She's tired of her dad always yelling "Are you sure you're decripting that right?"
Just once she'd like to her him say "That's perfect honey" or at least "I love you"
4. She's tired of going to Moscow, Russia. She'd rather go to the one in Kentucky (Yes there is a Moscow, Kentucky...)
3. All these wierd names like The Covenant and APO are starting to confuse her. I mean can we get some cooler rogue agency names?
2. She'd like to see what working at a bank is really like....
1. Before she had Arvin Sloane to deal with. Now she has Arvin Clone to. Soon there's going to be a third one! You know what they say 'Third one's a charm'
These really arent funny. But I have nothing else to do...
StAgEpRiNcEsS
Cadet
Top Ten Things We Hope Jack Will Never Say
10. Sydney, Sark and I, we ... well, what i mean to say is ...
9. Not if i see you first, love.
8. I'm leaving the CIA to star in my own Broadway musical.
7. Vaughn, you are the smartest, most handsome man i have ever met.
6. Could I grab some Vodka over here?
5. Ok, so i killed everyone you care about. Lighten up, Syd!
4. Be sure to take extra underwear with you.
3. No no no Syd, pink just does not go with that awful, awful red. Whatever was Calvin Klein thinking! Here, borrow my sparkly fish-nets.
2. I forgive you Arvin. Lets be bestest buddies forever!
And the number one thing we hope Jack will never say:
1. Thats it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college!
i amuse myself.
10. Sydney, Sark and I, we ... well, what i mean to say is ...
9. Not if i see you first, love.
8. I'm leaving the CIA to star in my own Broadway musical.
7. Vaughn, you are the smartest, most handsome man i have ever met.
6. Could I grab some Vodka over here?
5. Ok, so i killed everyone you care about. Lighten up, Syd!
4. Be sure to take extra underwear with you.
3. No no no Syd, pink just does not go with that awful, awful red. Whatever was Calvin Klein thinking! Here, borrow my sparkly fish-nets.
2. I forgive you Arvin. Lets be bestest buddies forever!
And the number one thing we hope Jack will never say:
1. Thats it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college!
i amuse myself.
Sarahmañana
Cadet
these cracked me up! they're great! you guys are too funny.