this is my first attempt at fan fiction, so i could use a lot of input 
. pretty much anything would be wonderful . so it's not finished yet, but i was wondering if you guys would let me know how it's going so far and if i should finish it.
Out of Mind
Chapter 1
Jack couldn’t really tell what was going on, everything was blurry and slightly bluish. He figured out he was standing in the corner of a room somewhere. He rubbed his eyes and saw a table with a white sheet in the center of the room. He heard the door on the other side of the room open up. Dr. Fraiser walked in towards the table and picked up a tape recorder.
Fraiser said into the recorder, “The subject died of a bullet to the right temple. It appears to be suicide. No additional bruising, other than to his right abdomen.”
A nurse walked into the room and pulled back the sheet as Fraiser said, “The victims name is Jonathan O’Neill.”
Jack rushes to the table and looks down to see himself on the table. He stumbles backwards, not knowing how to react to this kind of situation. He covers his hands with his head and starts moaning, “This can’t be, it can’t be.”
Suddenly, he sits up on his bed with a look of complete shock on his face. ‘It was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just a dream,’ he told himself over and over again. He looked down at his hands and realized that he was shaking uncontrollably. He unsteadily stepped off the bed and onto the floor. The wood seemed like ice on his feet. He realized that it was in the middle of winter and he had slept in only his boxers. He felt in the dark for the light and turned it on, only to be blinded by it. He groped around for his robe and eventually found it on the chair across the room. ‘How stupid was I to put it across the room?’ he thought. He eventually found his way to the kitchen and to the sink for some water. Looking around his kitchen and living room, he remembered all the fun memories of having his team over on those rare occasions. Daniel going on about Teal’c being deep, Teal’c coming over for a fishing trip, and the team discovering that he’d been cloned by the Asgard. He laughed especially at the last one.
As he stood there in his kitchen reminiscing, his pager went off. He walked over to his living room coffee table and picked it up. Damn, I took a week off and do they honor it? Nope, no siry, they don’t. I wonder what it’s about this time? Gouald invasion? Alien infection? Replicator takeover? I guess I’ll have to go there to find out.
. pretty much anything would be wonderful . so it's not finished yet, but i was wondering if you guys would let me know how it's going so far and if i should finish it.Out of Mind
Chapter 1
Jack couldn’t really tell what was going on, everything was blurry and slightly bluish. He figured out he was standing in the corner of a room somewhere. He rubbed his eyes and saw a table with a white sheet in the center of the room. He heard the door on the other side of the room open up. Dr. Fraiser walked in towards the table and picked up a tape recorder.
Fraiser said into the recorder, “The subject died of a bullet to the right temple. It appears to be suicide. No additional bruising, other than to his right abdomen.”
A nurse walked into the room and pulled back the sheet as Fraiser said, “The victims name is Jonathan O’Neill.”
Jack rushes to the table and looks down to see himself on the table. He stumbles backwards, not knowing how to react to this kind of situation. He covers his hands with his head and starts moaning, “This can’t be, it can’t be.”
Suddenly, he sits up on his bed with a look of complete shock on his face. ‘It was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just a dream,’ he told himself over and over again. He looked down at his hands and realized that he was shaking uncontrollably. He unsteadily stepped off the bed and onto the floor. The wood seemed like ice on his feet. He realized that it was in the middle of winter and he had slept in only his boxers. He felt in the dark for the light and turned it on, only to be blinded by it. He groped around for his robe and eventually found it on the chair across the room. ‘How stupid was I to put it across the room?’ he thought. He eventually found his way to the kitchen and to the sink for some water. Looking around his kitchen and living room, he remembered all the fun memories of having his team over on those rare occasions. Daniel going on about Teal’c being deep, Teal’c coming over for a fishing trip, and the team discovering that he’d been cloned by the Asgard. He laughed especially at the last one.
As he stood there in his kitchen reminiscing, his pager went off. He walked over to his living room coffee table and picked it up. Damn, I took a week off and do they honor it? Nope, no siry, they don’t. I wonder what it’s about this time? Gouald invasion? Alien infection? Replicator takeover? I guess I’ll have to go there to find out.