WishingStar
Cadet
“The Good-bye Girl” by David Gates
“First Cut is the Deepest” by Sheryl Crow
She always hated weddings. Growing up, she never played house like the other girls. Granted, she always did want to get married but it was never a definite priority. Maybe after Danny died, she grew even more cynical about this happy occasion. No, it was long before that. She knew it was when she became a part of SD-6 that she started to hate weddings. They were normal people, doing normal things. But most of all, they were completely honest with each other (or at least they were suppose to be honest with each other.) And she knew that she could never be completely honest with the guy that she was supposed to marry. But that would never be a definite reality.
So, here she was. Two analysts, Brian Graham and Rose Collins were getting married. Sydney was invited, as were many agents from the agency but the thing that separated Sydney from everyone else was that she was alone. Even Weiss had managed to find a date. Now she was all alone, dressed in a beautiful black cocktail dress with thin straps and tight fit, holding a champagne flute full of the iridescent liquid and plumb red strawberries. She collapsed against the sage colored chairs and watched the couples dance, the women resting their heads against their partner’s chest or gazing into their eyes. Self pity took over her and she sighed, wishing she had someone to dance with. She used to but that was all gone, gone with two years of her life. She was thirty. Thirty! She took a slow sip of the drink and realized how old she truly was. Thirty years old.
But as she reflected, her eyes fell on a couple that she envied more than anyone else in the world. The blonde woman stood short next to her husband, her red dress swaying elegantly with each movement. Her husband’s green eyes were lit up like candles as he gazed down into her hazel ones. Guilt and regret filled Sydney as she felt like she was watching something she shouldn’t. She was starring and all those years of private school had taught her starring wasn’t polite. But her eyes couldn’t gravitate from the man that she once loved.
“They look so happy, don’t they, darling?” Lauren’s voice whispered softly into Vaughn’s ear as they danced slow and close.
Vaughn smiled his lopsided grin and replied, “As happy as we did on our wedding day.”
Lauren laughed as she remembered thoughtfully, “That was a wonderful day.”
“Top on my list.” Vaughn recited, completely aware how extremely lame he was sounding. The seriousness was broken when he started to laugh lightly and pulled his wife closer.
“What?” She asked, feeling her body pressed up against his. “What’s so funny?”
“You’re such a romantic. It’s funny.” He answered back and lapsed into the wonderful silence of the peace melody.
Lauren straightened up slightly and felt the presence of stares focus on her. She quickly looked over her shoulder and were met with a pair of soft brown eyes.
“Renny? Is that?” The owner of the eyes interrupted their peace.
Lauren saw a man, about her age standing there with a tiny raven hair beauty dancing in his arms. His dark hair was combed to perfection and his black on black suit screamed attention to details. “Jonathan?” Her voice giggled and immediately broke away from her beloved and hugged the six foot three man as his date graciously stepped aside. Vaughn simply looked perplexed and waited for an introduction. She broke away from his embrace and faced her husband, “Jonathan Ross, this is my husband, Michael Vaughn. Michael, this is Jonathan, we cross trained at the Farm together.” She watched with eager eyes as the men exchanged pleasantries.
“Ah well this is my girlfriend, Amada Bank.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” Amanda responded, extending her ivory gloved hand out to Lauren who took it immediately.
“You too. I can’t believe this! I didn’t think I was going to see you forever!”
“I know! I just got transferred. I was in Paris for a while and then Prague and-“
“I’m just going to get something to drink.” Amanda said suddenly, looking at her boyfriend with a slightly annoyed look. “I’ll let you two talk.” Her blonde curls whipped around as she looked towards Vaughn, “Care to join me?”
With an anxious look to his wife, who was already engrossed in a conversation about yesteryear, Vaughn slowly backed out of the conversation that would surely bore him. Amanda took his arm and they started to talk lightly, quickly dodging dancing couples to the now livelier tune.
“I don’t think I could hear another ‘Do you remember’ story. I’m so sick of all of it; I could vomit.” She scoffed and put up an annoyed façade. She had been to one too many occasions like this and quite frankly, she was sick of it.
Vaughn couldn’t help but laugh softly. It was true. Everyone at the wedding were ranking NSC members or CIA operatives, so they almost knew everyone one else. The first two hours of the wedding were filled with tight embraces and warm greetings.
“That’s why they serve alcohol. Make it easier on the spouses.” Amanda continued, motioning to the bar but something quickly caught her eye. She stopped in her tracks and quickly murmured “Oh my G-d” beneath her breath.
“Are you alright?” Vaughn asked, letting concern creep into his voice. Her eyes had gone wide and she started to smirk. He stepped back slightly to stand in front of her and was surprised by her face.
“Oh I’m just fine.” She replied sarcastically, looking away from whoever she was looking at and back to Vaughn, “But if you’ll excuse me, I have to go tell a ‘do you remember me story.’ That man over there,” she pointed to a tall bald man, “was my partner for clandestine training. Oh lord, he has no hair. Jesus! I hate doing this. Will you excuse me?” and with that, Amanda walked away, muttering beneath her breath the entire way. Obviously an unhappy human being.
Vaughn laughed softly to himself as he watched her exaggerated and animated greetings. So here he was alone. Slowly he started to scan the room for someone to talk to. And that’s when he spotted her. He had almost forgotten or wished he had forgotten how beautiful she was. He loved that black dress. She had bought it the brief time they were together. She was his Syd and he was her Vaughn. Never in his life had he ever been more relieved that someone stopped calling him by his last name. He was Sydney’s Vaughn and the world’s Michael.
She sighed heavily and debated on whether or not to get another drink. Weiss had informed her earlier that she should start drinking harder liquor. ‘Get drunk faster!’ he proclaimed loudly, receiving a deadly look from both Sydney and his date, Isabel. So, here she was debating whether or not a gin and tonic would soothe her tattered soul. Her forehead creased as she gazed down into the bottom of the glass and studied it intently. She rubbed her lips together and felt the soft waxy formula smooth over her lips as the deep crimson lipstick spread. Her eyes drifted to her fingernails on the outside of the glass and found that the matching color polish had started to chip away.
“Hi Syd.” A male voice rocked her from her day dream.
“Vaughn.” She quickly managed to gasp, setting her glass down on the table, banishing all thoughts of him, lipstick and nail polish away. “How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m good.” He replied simply enough before settling down into a seat next to her. He watched her change her posture to something more professional and less revealing in her tight fitting dress.
“Good.” She answered, watching the way he moved so beautiful in the fine Italian suit that he wore. They both eased into an awkward silence and gazed off in different directions. But as much as they were in different places, their minds were in the same place.
Say something to her idiot! She’s just Sydney.
G-d, what do I say to him now? It’s just Vaughn.
“Do you-“
“I didn’t-“ They started at the same time and quickly stopped, blushing profusely.
“Why don’t you start?” Sydney spoke up rather shyly.
“Do you want to dance?” He asked, feeling really stupid all of a sudden.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Lauren might-“
“Lauren’s dancing with her ex-boyfriend, Jonathan.” He watched her apprehensiveness. “It’s okay, Sydney. It’s me.” He stood up and held his hand out to her.
She just starred up at him with empty looking eyes, obviously torn between going against what she wanted and what she should do. It hurt her so much when she saw that gold ring on his hand for the first time and seeing his outstretched hand now, made that pain come back even more. She watched the gold shimmer in the dimmed lighting and she felt part of her die all over again. Her eyes met his and they were so reassuring. He had no idea how much this was agonizing her. She couldn’t-she wouldn’t become his mistress. But he would never put her in that type of a situation. But his hand was still extended towards her. Internally, she bite hard on the inside of her lip to prevent her from smiling as she went against everything that she shouldn’t be doing and took his hand. The demons were shouting down the better angels in both of their brains. With enough caution to last them most of their live, they tentatively made their way to the dance floor just as a new song came on.
Rather reverently, he placed her hand on his shoulder and placed his hand on the same of her back. Gradually, they began to sway to the music, Sydney completely lost in his green eyes.
“This is the first time we’ve ever danced.” She managed to say at last, swallowing hard and stepping an inch closer so that they weren’t miles apart.
Vaughn smiled, “Yeah, that’s right.” With a hesitating glance, he spotted his wife who was giggling and remembering old times with a much older friend. He suddenly found himself more relaxed even though he was doing exactly what he shouldn’t have been. This was purely setting the stage for a massive fight later, he assured himself. But he was happy right here with Sydney in his arms.
She inched closer and could almost feel his heartbeat against hers. She had been hurt so badly in her life and hated every moment of it. She was a simple girl and had only a few boyfriends and dates under her belt. She dated Nick Mayer her senior year but that only lasted about two months. But then it was Noah and then Danny and then Noah again and then Vaughn. But she had only ‘been with’ Noah, Danny, and of course, Vaughn. She had made her peace with all of them and said her good-byes. Except Vaughn. They never had any type of closure. Granted, Danny and Noah took two years to get closure with but she managed. But as she swallowed hard, she realized that Vaughn was different. He never gave her a pet name or had little things that annoyed her. And she never had closure.
All your life you've waited for love to come and stay
And now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know it´s hard believin' the words you've heard before
But darlin' you must trust them just once more...
'Cause baby
He hated that she had suffered so much since she “rose from the dead.” But at the same time, he didn’t regret that he had moved on. He honestly did love Lauren and nothing, even Sydney being back, would ever change that. A piece of him would always belong to her, no matter what. But as he held her in his arms, smelling her sweet perfume of wild roses and honeysuckles, he realized that no matter what, they would always be there for each other. If not on an intimate level, there was a steady bond between the two of them that could never be broken. They spent almost two years stealing longing glances at each other and spending long nights thinking about each other.
He wanted to clear his throat to clear the awkward air but knew that he couldn’t. His body was almost frozen as he felt Sydney creep closer and he thought he was going to die as her forehead hovered along his jaw line. This was different than anything he had ever experienced in his lifetime. First off, girls were always considerably shorter than him as he stood about six feet tall and Sydney was about five foot nine (or was it five foot ten? it was hard to tell when she wore heels). Second, he very rarely danced with girls. There were many embarrassing moments that he had growing up with girls. Going to private, all boys schools was not good on his love life at all.
He had always been somewhat clumsy growing up and never wonderful around the opposite sex. As for former girlfriends, there weren’t many. There was Antoinette Rose, daughter of a French diplomat he had met in high school….she attended the sister school of Vaughn’s private high school. They dated most of their junior year but broke up shortly after Vaughn and his mother relocated to the West coast. There was Nora at Georgetown and Alice after he transferred to the LA office. Marianna was after Nora but he wasn’t allowed to be in love with her and after all, she played him (different story, different day). But then there was Sydney. And we all know how that ended. Here she was in his arms again, though….with his wife standing twenty feet away in the arms of another man. This was by far the most screwed up situation he had ever been in.
Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there, I won't be long away
'Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you
Oh how she missed how his arms felt around her! They did something to her that no drug or drink known to man could do. She was utterly intoxicated by his very presence. But as sweet as it felt to be in his arms again, it was that bittersweet. He wasn’t hers anymore. “Rose makes a beautiful bride, doesn’t she?” She spoke up, needing to clear her head from the swooning thoughts.
He was clearly startled by her actually making conversation and did a poor job shielding this from showing on his face, “Uh-yeah. Yeah, she does.”
And cue the awkward silence that really, in all honesty, wasn’t that awkward. The silence coated them and the rest of the world went hazy. Gone were all the troubles that they had faced in the real world and here they were, just as they were two years ago. She started to debate internally whether or not she should just go for it and rest her forehead against some part of his body. It would be so wrong but something felt so right. Sure, Lauren would probably try, key word try, to kill her but she could break that twiggy like blonde like a-well, twig. She felt her heart pound louder than ever in her chest as she leaned forward and rested her right temple against his clean shaven jaw line. Her eyes shut and she realized that she still loved him.
But suddenly, something all changed.
I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin' in
But I can wait forever, a-helpin' you to see
That I was meant for you and you for me...
So remember
He looked at her and caught something in her eye and titled his head softly towards her. She smiled softly and continued their little bit of a sway and had to refrain from laughing at how incredibly oblivious he was about the war going on inside her head.
She loved him enough to let him go. They could still have this romantic interlude or whatever you wanted to call it but she loved him enough to stop lusting over him. ‘Michael Vaughn is just a boy who was never good enough for you’ her father’s words came ringing through her mind. Yes, she loved him so much that it hurt her inside and there was nothing that was ever going to change it. She needed to let him go. But for now, she would just revel in the sense of his touch and as soon as the song ended, that would be that and they would move on with their lives. There would be another Michael Vaughn. Right? She moved so that she was dancing almost cheek to cheek to him. Lord, this was so wrong! But if this was being wrong, she never wanted to be right again.
No. She needed to let him go. He was with Lauren now and he loved her. She could tell by the look in his eye and how he acted around her. He was in love with Lauren, not Sydney. She licked her lips and waited a few more moments until the song ended, almost wishing that it never would. At the end of this song, she would walk away and that would be that. Whatever relationship they had would be strictly professional and a friendship. FRIENDSHIP. She emphasized the point in her mind. Walking away this one time would probably be a difficult task for her to do, mentally but in the end, it would all work out. Lusting over him was not going to accomplish anything at all. She needed to get over him. And walking away would accomplish that.
He swallowed hard as he felt the familiar sentiment flood his system. He was being torn apart inside. This was a bad idea. A completely and horribly bad idea. He shouldn’t have asked her to dance and then he wouldn’t have her in his arms and wouldn’t be realizing how much he still loved her. He exhaled and tried to mask his emotions.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked softly, her eyes closing as she settled against him again. It sounded very seductive but when you’re dancing that close with someone you loved and love so much, you can’t help asking.
“Everything.” He answered truthfully and pulled her tighter. His hand, that had rested in the middle of her back had drifted down to the elegant curve there and almost wrapped around her tiny waist. “What about you?”
Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart you still will have my heart
So forget your past my Goodbye Girl
'Cause now you're home at last
Tears suddenly welled up in her closed eyes but as she went to reply, the music ended. She stepped away, breaking their connection and looked into his eyes, “I was thinking about how everything’s gonna be okay now. I’m gonna go and grab something to eat. Bye, Vaughn.” And with that, she turned on her heels, her head held higher than ever before. She still loved him and would always. She didn’t want to turn around and see what he was doing, what his face looked like. But as her heels gently clicked along the wood floor, a new song came on. Completely appropriate.
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
“First Cut is the Deepest” by Sheryl Crow
She always hated weddings. Growing up, she never played house like the other girls. Granted, she always did want to get married but it was never a definite priority. Maybe after Danny died, she grew even more cynical about this happy occasion. No, it was long before that. She knew it was when she became a part of SD-6 that she started to hate weddings. They were normal people, doing normal things. But most of all, they were completely honest with each other (or at least they were suppose to be honest with each other.) And she knew that she could never be completely honest with the guy that she was supposed to marry. But that would never be a definite reality.
So, here she was. Two analysts, Brian Graham and Rose Collins were getting married. Sydney was invited, as were many agents from the agency but the thing that separated Sydney from everyone else was that she was alone. Even Weiss had managed to find a date. Now she was all alone, dressed in a beautiful black cocktail dress with thin straps and tight fit, holding a champagne flute full of the iridescent liquid and plumb red strawberries. She collapsed against the sage colored chairs and watched the couples dance, the women resting their heads against their partner’s chest or gazing into their eyes. Self pity took over her and she sighed, wishing she had someone to dance with. She used to but that was all gone, gone with two years of her life. She was thirty. Thirty! She took a slow sip of the drink and realized how old she truly was. Thirty years old.
But as she reflected, her eyes fell on a couple that she envied more than anyone else in the world. The blonde woman stood short next to her husband, her red dress swaying elegantly with each movement. Her husband’s green eyes were lit up like candles as he gazed down into her hazel ones. Guilt and regret filled Sydney as she felt like she was watching something she shouldn’t. She was starring and all those years of private school had taught her starring wasn’t polite. But her eyes couldn’t gravitate from the man that she once loved.
“They look so happy, don’t they, darling?” Lauren’s voice whispered softly into Vaughn’s ear as they danced slow and close.
Vaughn smiled his lopsided grin and replied, “As happy as we did on our wedding day.”
Lauren laughed as she remembered thoughtfully, “That was a wonderful day.”
“Top on my list.” Vaughn recited, completely aware how extremely lame he was sounding. The seriousness was broken when he started to laugh lightly and pulled his wife closer.
“What?” She asked, feeling her body pressed up against his. “What’s so funny?”
“You’re such a romantic. It’s funny.” He answered back and lapsed into the wonderful silence of the peace melody.
Lauren straightened up slightly and felt the presence of stares focus on her. She quickly looked over her shoulder and were met with a pair of soft brown eyes.
“Renny? Is that?” The owner of the eyes interrupted their peace.
Lauren saw a man, about her age standing there with a tiny raven hair beauty dancing in his arms. His dark hair was combed to perfection and his black on black suit screamed attention to details. “Jonathan?” Her voice giggled and immediately broke away from her beloved and hugged the six foot three man as his date graciously stepped aside. Vaughn simply looked perplexed and waited for an introduction. She broke away from his embrace and faced her husband, “Jonathan Ross, this is my husband, Michael Vaughn. Michael, this is Jonathan, we cross trained at the Farm together.” She watched with eager eyes as the men exchanged pleasantries.
“Ah well this is my girlfriend, Amada Bank.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” Amanda responded, extending her ivory gloved hand out to Lauren who took it immediately.
“You too. I can’t believe this! I didn’t think I was going to see you forever!”
“I know! I just got transferred. I was in Paris for a while and then Prague and-“
“I’m just going to get something to drink.” Amanda said suddenly, looking at her boyfriend with a slightly annoyed look. “I’ll let you two talk.” Her blonde curls whipped around as she looked towards Vaughn, “Care to join me?”
With an anxious look to his wife, who was already engrossed in a conversation about yesteryear, Vaughn slowly backed out of the conversation that would surely bore him. Amanda took his arm and they started to talk lightly, quickly dodging dancing couples to the now livelier tune.
“I don’t think I could hear another ‘Do you remember’ story. I’m so sick of all of it; I could vomit.” She scoffed and put up an annoyed façade. She had been to one too many occasions like this and quite frankly, she was sick of it.
Vaughn couldn’t help but laugh softly. It was true. Everyone at the wedding were ranking NSC members or CIA operatives, so they almost knew everyone one else. The first two hours of the wedding were filled with tight embraces and warm greetings.
“That’s why they serve alcohol. Make it easier on the spouses.” Amanda continued, motioning to the bar but something quickly caught her eye. She stopped in her tracks and quickly murmured “Oh my G-d” beneath her breath.
“Are you alright?” Vaughn asked, letting concern creep into his voice. Her eyes had gone wide and she started to smirk. He stepped back slightly to stand in front of her and was surprised by her face.
“Oh I’m just fine.” She replied sarcastically, looking away from whoever she was looking at and back to Vaughn, “But if you’ll excuse me, I have to go tell a ‘do you remember me story.’ That man over there,” she pointed to a tall bald man, “was my partner for clandestine training. Oh lord, he has no hair. Jesus! I hate doing this. Will you excuse me?” and with that, Amanda walked away, muttering beneath her breath the entire way. Obviously an unhappy human being.
Vaughn laughed softly to himself as he watched her exaggerated and animated greetings. So here he was alone. Slowly he started to scan the room for someone to talk to. And that’s when he spotted her. He had almost forgotten or wished he had forgotten how beautiful she was. He loved that black dress. She had bought it the brief time they were together. She was his Syd and he was her Vaughn. Never in his life had he ever been more relieved that someone stopped calling him by his last name. He was Sydney’s Vaughn and the world’s Michael.
She sighed heavily and debated on whether or not to get another drink. Weiss had informed her earlier that she should start drinking harder liquor. ‘Get drunk faster!’ he proclaimed loudly, receiving a deadly look from both Sydney and his date, Isabel. So, here she was debating whether or not a gin and tonic would soothe her tattered soul. Her forehead creased as she gazed down into the bottom of the glass and studied it intently. She rubbed her lips together and felt the soft waxy formula smooth over her lips as the deep crimson lipstick spread. Her eyes drifted to her fingernails on the outside of the glass and found that the matching color polish had started to chip away.
“Hi Syd.” A male voice rocked her from her day dream.
“Vaughn.” She quickly managed to gasp, setting her glass down on the table, banishing all thoughts of him, lipstick and nail polish away. “How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m good.” He replied simply enough before settling down into a seat next to her. He watched her change her posture to something more professional and less revealing in her tight fitting dress.
“Good.” She answered, watching the way he moved so beautiful in the fine Italian suit that he wore. They both eased into an awkward silence and gazed off in different directions. But as much as they were in different places, their minds were in the same place.
Say something to her idiot! She’s just Sydney.
G-d, what do I say to him now? It’s just Vaughn.
“Do you-“
“I didn’t-“ They started at the same time and quickly stopped, blushing profusely.
“Why don’t you start?” Sydney spoke up rather shyly.
“Do you want to dance?” He asked, feeling really stupid all of a sudden.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Lauren might-“
“Lauren’s dancing with her ex-boyfriend, Jonathan.” He watched her apprehensiveness. “It’s okay, Sydney. It’s me.” He stood up and held his hand out to her.
She just starred up at him with empty looking eyes, obviously torn between going against what she wanted and what she should do. It hurt her so much when she saw that gold ring on his hand for the first time and seeing his outstretched hand now, made that pain come back even more. She watched the gold shimmer in the dimmed lighting and she felt part of her die all over again. Her eyes met his and they were so reassuring. He had no idea how much this was agonizing her. She couldn’t-she wouldn’t become his mistress. But he would never put her in that type of a situation. But his hand was still extended towards her. Internally, she bite hard on the inside of her lip to prevent her from smiling as she went against everything that she shouldn’t be doing and took his hand. The demons were shouting down the better angels in both of their brains. With enough caution to last them most of their live, they tentatively made their way to the dance floor just as a new song came on.
Rather reverently, he placed her hand on his shoulder and placed his hand on the same of her back. Gradually, they began to sway to the music, Sydney completely lost in his green eyes.
“This is the first time we’ve ever danced.” She managed to say at last, swallowing hard and stepping an inch closer so that they weren’t miles apart.
Vaughn smiled, “Yeah, that’s right.” With a hesitating glance, he spotted his wife who was giggling and remembering old times with a much older friend. He suddenly found himself more relaxed even though he was doing exactly what he shouldn’t have been. This was purely setting the stage for a massive fight later, he assured himself. But he was happy right here with Sydney in his arms.
She inched closer and could almost feel his heartbeat against hers. She had been hurt so badly in her life and hated every moment of it. She was a simple girl and had only a few boyfriends and dates under her belt. She dated Nick Mayer her senior year but that only lasted about two months. But then it was Noah and then Danny and then Noah again and then Vaughn. But she had only ‘been with’ Noah, Danny, and of course, Vaughn. She had made her peace with all of them and said her good-byes. Except Vaughn. They never had any type of closure. Granted, Danny and Noah took two years to get closure with but she managed. But as she swallowed hard, she realized that Vaughn was different. He never gave her a pet name or had little things that annoyed her. And she never had closure.
All your life you've waited for love to come and stay
And now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know it´s hard believin' the words you've heard before
But darlin' you must trust them just once more...
'Cause baby
He hated that she had suffered so much since she “rose from the dead.” But at the same time, he didn’t regret that he had moved on. He honestly did love Lauren and nothing, even Sydney being back, would ever change that. A piece of him would always belong to her, no matter what. But as he held her in his arms, smelling her sweet perfume of wild roses and honeysuckles, he realized that no matter what, they would always be there for each other. If not on an intimate level, there was a steady bond between the two of them that could never be broken. They spent almost two years stealing longing glances at each other and spending long nights thinking about each other.
He wanted to clear his throat to clear the awkward air but knew that he couldn’t. His body was almost frozen as he felt Sydney creep closer and he thought he was going to die as her forehead hovered along his jaw line. This was different than anything he had ever experienced in his lifetime. First off, girls were always considerably shorter than him as he stood about six feet tall and Sydney was about five foot nine (or was it five foot ten? it was hard to tell when she wore heels). Second, he very rarely danced with girls. There were many embarrassing moments that he had growing up with girls. Going to private, all boys schools was not good on his love life at all.
He had always been somewhat clumsy growing up and never wonderful around the opposite sex. As for former girlfriends, there weren’t many. There was Antoinette Rose, daughter of a French diplomat he had met in high school….she attended the sister school of Vaughn’s private high school. They dated most of their junior year but broke up shortly after Vaughn and his mother relocated to the West coast. There was Nora at Georgetown and Alice after he transferred to the LA office. Marianna was after Nora but he wasn’t allowed to be in love with her and after all, she played him (different story, different day). But then there was Sydney. And we all know how that ended. Here she was in his arms again, though….with his wife standing twenty feet away in the arms of another man. This was by far the most screwed up situation he had ever been in.
Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
If you wake up and I'm not there, I won't be long away
'Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Will bring me back to you
Oh how she missed how his arms felt around her! They did something to her that no drug or drink known to man could do. She was utterly intoxicated by his very presence. But as sweet as it felt to be in his arms again, it was that bittersweet. He wasn’t hers anymore. “Rose makes a beautiful bride, doesn’t she?” She spoke up, needing to clear her head from the swooning thoughts.
He was clearly startled by her actually making conversation and did a poor job shielding this from showing on his face, “Uh-yeah. Yeah, she does.”
And cue the awkward silence that really, in all honesty, wasn’t that awkward. The silence coated them and the rest of the world went hazy. Gone were all the troubles that they had faced in the real world and here they were, just as they were two years ago. She started to debate internally whether or not she should just go for it and rest her forehead against some part of his body. It would be so wrong but something felt so right. Sure, Lauren would probably try, key word try, to kill her but she could break that twiggy like blonde like a-well, twig. She felt her heart pound louder than ever in her chest as she leaned forward and rested her right temple against his clean shaven jaw line. Her eyes shut and she realized that she still loved him.
But suddenly, something all changed.
I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin' in
But I can wait forever, a-helpin' you to see
That I was meant for you and you for me...
So remember
He looked at her and caught something in her eye and titled his head softly towards her. She smiled softly and continued their little bit of a sway and had to refrain from laughing at how incredibly oblivious he was about the war going on inside her head.
She loved him enough to let him go. They could still have this romantic interlude or whatever you wanted to call it but she loved him enough to stop lusting over him. ‘Michael Vaughn is just a boy who was never good enough for you’ her father’s words came ringing through her mind. Yes, she loved him so much that it hurt her inside and there was nothing that was ever going to change it. She needed to let him go. But for now, she would just revel in the sense of his touch and as soon as the song ended, that would be that and they would move on with their lives. There would be another Michael Vaughn. Right? She moved so that she was dancing almost cheek to cheek to him. Lord, this was so wrong! But if this was being wrong, she never wanted to be right again.
No. She needed to let him go. He was with Lauren now and he loved her. She could tell by the look in his eye and how he acted around her. He was in love with Lauren, not Sydney. She licked her lips and waited a few more moments until the song ended, almost wishing that it never would. At the end of this song, she would walk away and that would be that. Whatever relationship they had would be strictly professional and a friendship. FRIENDSHIP. She emphasized the point in her mind. Walking away this one time would probably be a difficult task for her to do, mentally but in the end, it would all work out. Lusting over him was not going to accomplish anything at all. She needed to get over him. And walking away would accomplish that.
He swallowed hard as he felt the familiar sentiment flood his system. He was being torn apart inside. This was a bad idea. A completely and horribly bad idea. He shouldn’t have asked her to dance and then he wouldn’t have her in his arms and wouldn’t be realizing how much he still loved her. He exhaled and tried to mask his emotions.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked softly, her eyes closing as she settled against him again. It sounded very seductive but when you’re dancing that close with someone you loved and love so much, you can’t help asking.
“Everything.” He answered truthfully and pulled her tighter. His hand, that had rested in the middle of her back had drifted down to the elegant curve there and almost wrapped around her tiny waist. “What about you?”
Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart you still will have my heart
So forget your past my Goodbye Girl
'Cause now you're home at last
Tears suddenly welled up in her closed eyes but as she went to reply, the music ended. She stepped away, breaking their connection and looked into his eyes, “I was thinking about how everything’s gonna be okay now. I’m gonna go and grab something to eat. Bye, Vaughn.” And with that, she turned on her heels, her head held higher than ever before. She still loved him and would always. She didn’t want to turn around and see what he was doing, what his face looked like. But as her heels gently clicked along the wood floor, a new song came on. Completely appropriate.
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst
I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know
get them together!!!!!!!