shakekelly98
Cadet
YES YOUR BACK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
JUST LOVE THIS STORY AND GLAD YOUR GOING TO UPDATE
JUST LOVE THIS STORY AND GLAD YOUR GOING TO UPDATE
Caught in the Middle
- Thread starter Alias=Life
- Start date
6helterskelter6
Cadet
If you update some time in the near future you know I'll love you forever. 
Also, congrats on finishing yet another semester. They are death, most of the time.
Also, congrats on finishing yet another semester. They are death, most of the time.
Alias=Life
Cadet
I've been trying to update, but my computer is in such bad shape, its on the verge of crashing The good news is, I'm getting a new one for my birthday, which is in about two weeks. I'll try to update before then, if my computer permits it, so we'll see
The good news is, I'm getting a new one for my birthday, which is in about two weeks. I'll try to update before then, if my computer permits it, so we'll see Alias=Life
Cadet
A/N: Holy felgercarb! An update! Yes! Well, I got my new computer (one that isn't virus infested) so now it won't take me as long. This is one of my favourite chapters, just because of the realizations the characters, especially Sydney, make... both good and bad. Thanks for sticking with me, and here's the next chapter of Caught in the Middle. Enjoy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nadia Bristow's House, Los Angeles
She stared in disbelief, wondering how her sister could do this. Well, she knew perfectly well how her sister could do this, but why? She said Vaughn was nothing, yet she was carrying his child… or whom she assumed to be his child. Was she going to get rid of it? She knew Sydney hated children. She had to have at least known for a week or two, so why was she hesitating?
“And I didn’t even notice.”
Sydney was born to conceal things, so it really wasn’t all that shocking to Nadia that she hadn’t picked up on the pregnancy. She also hadn’t begun to start showing, so how could she have known? Still, there were so many red flags that Nadia didn’t realize until now. She thought it was just her sister winding down after her crazy episode with their mother, but apparently it was so much more.
Dozens of emotions stirred inside of her; anger; hate; confusion; betrayal; even a hint of jealousy. She decided to zero in and focus on one; anger.
“Who does she think she is!?” Nadia yelled, throwing the applicator back in the garbage, “She lied, said it was nothing, and here she is, pregnant! Did she honestly think she could get away with this!? Or was she planning on killing that poor kid!? Is she going to run away again!?”
Nadia was just overwhelmed by rage. This was not supposed to happen. Not with her psychotic sister who she hated with every fiber in her being and not with her best friend, who was supposed to stick by her side and hate Sydney, too.
“There’s no way I’m going to let her get away with this and keep playing us all!”
She would wait until Sydney got home. Then, the clash of the titans would ensue.
----------
In the Parking Lot of the CIA HQ, Los Angeles
She lingered in the parking lot, resting her head against the concrete wall. Should she go back in there? Vaughn had to be told. He had to.
Sighing, she groaned, sinking down onto the cold ground, “That doesn’t make it any easier.”
Knowing the truth never did. People expected it to, but that simply wasn’t how things worked. If anything, knowing the truth complicated things. The truth itself was very simple, but when applied to any circumstance, made things very complicated.
She would tell him. Not now, but soon. She just didn’t know what to say, and with such a revelation, she wanted to make this go smoothly. If she confronted Vaughn now, she’d simply stutter and stumble until he would finally force it out of her and things turned messy.
“I guess things will get messy either way,” she thought, “I just have to accept that.”
But she couldn’t.
For the first time, she didn’t want the truth. Maybe she would get rid of the baby after all. She knew she wasn’t ready, and she was willing to bet that Vaughn wasn’t, either. Then again, what if he found out that she aborted and he wanted it? He would be furious with her. He wouldn’t want her anymore. But she couldn’t keep this up. There was no way she could take Azrael down like this. If she did, she’d be putting this baby’s life at risk. It wasn’t fair to this child.
Slumping even more, she rested her head in her hands, wondering what to do. Whether it was the hormones or the seriousness of the situation, she didn’t know, but she just wanted it to end.
Closing her eyes, she thought back to the last time she was with Vaughn. That little piece of comfort and security she felt just when she thought of him made her feel better. She hoped they’d be together again soon.
----------
From his car, Vaughn watched as she fought inwardly, wondering what was going on. Something was bothering her, that he knew; he wasn’t sitting too far away and she hadn’t noticed him, which was unlike her. Whatever it was, it was impeding her training and her instincts… and she wouldn’t share with him.
“Sydney, what’s bothering you?” he asked himself.
He wanted to push. But he wouldn’t. As much as he wanted to, he respected her far too much to force it out of her. She would tell him when she was ready, and he hoped that would be soon.
“Damn you, Nadia.”
He felt guilty for being angry at his best friend, but in a way, this was her fault. She was the one who discovered them together. She was the one who threatened to tell their superiors if they didn’t break it off. If it weren’t for her, Sydney would be in his arms, confessing, and he wouldn’t have to worry so much.
Looking back over to her, he couldn’t believe how beautiful she looked. Even in her saddened state, she glowed beautifully. Imagine what she would look like, all lit up and happy by his side. That’s all he needed to start his car and turn towards the exit; the hope for better days.
----------
Nadia Bristow’s House, Los Angeles
Sydney walked in the door, hoping Nadia wouldn’t make a scene. She just started feeling better, the last thing she needed was trouble from her bratty little sister.
Attempting to slip in through the crack in the door to her room, she was caught, “Sneaking around, are you?”
Sydney stopped, sighed, and turned around, “Please, not tonight. I’ll come up with a witty retort tomorrow. I’m just really tired.”
“Usually, that’s what happens during pregnancy.”
Sydney froze, the world around her becoming smaller and smaller. How did she know? This was the farthest thing from good. This was worse than her knowing about her and Vaughn!
“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Save it,” Nadia barked, “I saw the test. I know all about it.”
“You couldn’t possibly know the half of it,” Sydney mumbled, too low for Nadia to hear.
“I thought you said it was nothing!” Nadia shouted, coming closer to Sydney.
“It wasn’t-”
“But you’re carrying his child!”
“Not for long!”
They both stopped, Nadia’s anger starting to slowly subside and Sydney’s sadness reappearing.
“It was a mistake. I never meant for it to happen. And then… and then I found myself pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve spent the past week trying to tell him and deciding whether or not I want to keep it. He still doesn‘t know and… I don‘t think I want this.”
Suddenly, Nadia began to feel bad. Her sister might have been insane, but she was clearly conflicted and in need of help.
“Sydney… what are you going to do?” Nadia whispered, “You can’t keep it. You just can’t. If the CIA finds out, they’ll have both yours and Vaughn’s asses. And if Vaughn finds out… maybe its best you didn’t tell him at all.”
“That’s what I felt… but… he needs to know. He has the right. As painful as it is, it’s the honest thing to do,” she replied.
“And since when do you care about honesty!? Since when do you care about anything but yourself!? Hell, if you died tomorrow, the only one who’d care would be you!”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
She fought back the urge to say this childish rhyme to her sister and to cry. The truth was, sticks and stones may have broken her bones, but words would ultimately destroy her.
When they were children, Sydney didn’t spend much time with Nadia, but the time they did spend together, they were always fighting. Sydney used to call Nadia things like “inferior” and “a mistake.” Nadia was too little to know what it meant, but she’d always say the rhyme and stick her tongue out at her sister. It was very childish and back then she would scoff, but secretly, when no one saw, she would laugh. She laughed because Nadia truly was oblivious and because of that, nothing bothered her. Still, thinking back, she probably did hurt her, to some extent.
Nadia was right, though. Since when did she care? When did she find herself actually caring about anything about herself? It was back when she spent her first night with Vaughn. She cared because she knew he did. With all that was going on… maybe Vaughn wouldn’t care, even if she did drop dead tomorrow.
That brought her back to square one; solitude.
“That’s all that matters,” Sydney said, her voice low and guttural, before slamming the door on her sister’s face.
She didn’t bother turning the lights on. She just fell forward onto her bed, laying on her back, covering her face with her hands. When she knew Nadia had left, she let the tears flow freely. For the first time in a long while, she cried for herself; not about losing Vaughn or her mother, but for herself and her existence. Now, even she began to pity what she had become.
“Everything that happened… its all because of you!” she shouted, grabbing her father by the collar of his shirt and slamming him against his desk.
“That’s not true,” he replied.
“And why is that!?”
If looks could kill, he’d be dead a thousand times over. This was a time when she was at her absolute darkest. On a good day, when she felt content, her eyes were still glazed over with anger, hatred and malice. She always wore a frown, and even the area surrounding her eyes had darkened. She truly was a sociopath.
“Because its your fault.”
Sydney growled like a rabid dog, slamming him back against his desk, Even through the pain, he remained calm, which was what she hated the most.
“You know that’s not true!” she protested, “Everything that’s happened to me and to my mother is because of you!”
“No, its because of you.”
He was quieter and calmer than usual, and she knew he was hiding something. He had that look from years ago, when she was a child; she’d ask him if he loved her and he reply, “yes” with no questions asked, no hesitation, like any normal parent would. Even as a little kid, she grew to know when he was concealing something. Unlike normal parents who never hesitated to confess their love for their child, he really didn’t love her. If anything, he feared her. She had come to the conclusion; if it weren’t for her mother, he’d have killed her long ago.
“What are you hiding!?” she asked, tightening her grip, “Why are you lying, even now!?”
“You say this is my fault… but its as much as your mother’s. If it is both our faults, its because its your fault.”
“What are you talking about!?” Sydney asked, growing even more furious, “Mother loved me! You treated me like garbage, even when I’d done nothing wrong!”
“You’re wrong about that… which is why it is our fault. but yours in the end.”
Giving him a chance to explain, she made direct eye contact with him.
“You were nothing but a means to an end which was dragged on far too long. We thought it would be over and done with the second you were born, but it wasn’t. We both agreed with our agencies so we could end the madness and go back to our lives, but you resulted in even more insanity. Because of you, your mother was forced to spend a lifetime with me, the enemy, and away from her family. I was forced into a life I never wanted, as was she. You took away her happiness. She never showed it but you… you made her miserable. She did not love you.”
Sydney let go of him, stepping back, “That’s not true! You’re trying to make this easier on yourself!”
“You were not loved. You were not cared for, because of what you were and what you represented. She tried not to blame you, tried to love you, but deep down, she hated you all the same, as did I. Its your fault for destroying our lives, which is why its ours for destroying yours.”
----------
“Mommy!”
She ran from the playground over to her mother, into her arms. Nadia was in a stroller next to them, sleeping contently.
“What is it?” he mother asked, wiping the sand that caked itself onto her daughter’s face.
“Those boys,” she pointed to a group of boys her age who were laughing, “They pushed me in the sand! I wanted to hit them, but daddy told me never to hit, not ever!”
Her mother smiled a sad smile, bringing her daughter close to her chest. She embraced her tightly, “Do you love yourself, Sydney?”
“What?”
“Do you love yourself?”
“Sure I do, but-”
“Than that’s all that matters; love yourself; live only for yourself. For someone like you… that’s the only hope, the only choice, you really have.”
This was days before Laura Bristow’s death. Sydney looked up into her mother’s, not understanding what she meant. Even as a prodigy, she still couldn’t quite grasp her mother’s words.
“For someone like me…,” she repeated.
She understood it well, now. She understood what her mother had meant that day, and that her father’s words all those years ago weren’t just a tactic to get into her head. It was all true.
“For someone like me, the only love I’ll ever know and share is the love for myself. Its my only chance at survival, and I will survive.”
She’d heed her mother’s advice, which she’d been unknowingly doing for her entire life.
“But Vaughn…”
When she had met him, this all seemed so different. Life seemed to have meaning. Now she realized that her mother spoke the truth; it was Vaughn who had caused her the happiness, but all of this pain, as well, which just wasn‘t worth it. She was much better off when she was alone, as was he.
“Love myself? Live for myself? I will. I have to.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nadia Bristow's House, Los Angeles
She stared in disbelief, wondering how her sister could do this. Well, she knew perfectly well how her sister could do this, but why? She said Vaughn was nothing, yet she was carrying his child… or whom she assumed to be his child. Was she going to get rid of it? She knew Sydney hated children. She had to have at least known for a week or two, so why was she hesitating?
“And I didn’t even notice.”
Sydney was born to conceal things, so it really wasn’t all that shocking to Nadia that she hadn’t picked up on the pregnancy. She also hadn’t begun to start showing, so how could she have known? Still, there were so many red flags that Nadia didn’t realize until now. She thought it was just her sister winding down after her crazy episode with their mother, but apparently it was so much more.
Dozens of emotions stirred inside of her; anger; hate; confusion; betrayal; even a hint of jealousy. She decided to zero in and focus on one; anger.
“Who does she think she is!?” Nadia yelled, throwing the applicator back in the garbage, “She lied, said it was nothing, and here she is, pregnant! Did she honestly think she could get away with this!? Or was she planning on killing that poor kid!? Is she going to run away again!?”
Nadia was just overwhelmed by rage. This was not supposed to happen. Not with her psychotic sister who she hated with every fiber in her being and not with her best friend, who was supposed to stick by her side and hate Sydney, too.
“There’s no way I’m going to let her get away with this and keep playing us all!”
She would wait until Sydney got home. Then, the clash of the titans would ensue.
----------
In the Parking Lot of the CIA HQ, Los Angeles
She lingered in the parking lot, resting her head against the concrete wall. Should she go back in there? Vaughn had to be told. He had to.
Sighing, she groaned, sinking down onto the cold ground, “That doesn’t make it any easier.”
Knowing the truth never did. People expected it to, but that simply wasn’t how things worked. If anything, knowing the truth complicated things. The truth itself was very simple, but when applied to any circumstance, made things very complicated.
She would tell him. Not now, but soon. She just didn’t know what to say, and with such a revelation, she wanted to make this go smoothly. If she confronted Vaughn now, she’d simply stutter and stumble until he would finally force it out of her and things turned messy.
“I guess things will get messy either way,” she thought, “I just have to accept that.”
But she couldn’t.
For the first time, she didn’t want the truth. Maybe she would get rid of the baby after all. She knew she wasn’t ready, and she was willing to bet that Vaughn wasn’t, either. Then again, what if he found out that she aborted and he wanted it? He would be furious with her. He wouldn’t want her anymore. But she couldn’t keep this up. There was no way she could take Azrael down like this. If she did, she’d be putting this baby’s life at risk. It wasn’t fair to this child.
Slumping even more, she rested her head in her hands, wondering what to do. Whether it was the hormones or the seriousness of the situation, she didn’t know, but she just wanted it to end.
Closing her eyes, she thought back to the last time she was with Vaughn. That little piece of comfort and security she felt just when she thought of him made her feel better. She hoped they’d be together again soon.
----------
From his car, Vaughn watched as she fought inwardly, wondering what was going on. Something was bothering her, that he knew; he wasn’t sitting too far away and she hadn’t noticed him, which was unlike her. Whatever it was, it was impeding her training and her instincts… and she wouldn’t share with him.
“Sydney, what’s bothering you?” he asked himself.
He wanted to push. But he wouldn’t. As much as he wanted to, he respected her far too much to force it out of her. She would tell him when she was ready, and he hoped that would be soon.
“Damn you, Nadia.”
He felt guilty for being angry at his best friend, but in a way, this was her fault. She was the one who discovered them together. She was the one who threatened to tell their superiors if they didn’t break it off. If it weren’t for her, Sydney would be in his arms, confessing, and he wouldn’t have to worry so much.
Looking back over to her, he couldn’t believe how beautiful she looked. Even in her saddened state, she glowed beautifully. Imagine what she would look like, all lit up and happy by his side. That’s all he needed to start his car and turn towards the exit; the hope for better days.
----------
Nadia Bristow’s House, Los Angeles
Sydney walked in the door, hoping Nadia wouldn’t make a scene. She just started feeling better, the last thing she needed was trouble from her bratty little sister.
Attempting to slip in through the crack in the door to her room, she was caught, “Sneaking around, are you?”
Sydney stopped, sighed, and turned around, “Please, not tonight. I’ll come up with a witty retort tomorrow. I’m just really tired.”
“Usually, that’s what happens during pregnancy.”
Sydney froze, the world around her becoming smaller and smaller. How did she know? This was the farthest thing from good. This was worse than her knowing about her and Vaughn!
“I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Save it,” Nadia barked, “I saw the test. I know all about it.”
“You couldn’t possibly know the half of it,” Sydney mumbled, too low for Nadia to hear.
“I thought you said it was nothing!” Nadia shouted, coming closer to Sydney.
“It wasn’t-”
“But you’re carrying his child!”
“Not for long!”
They both stopped, Nadia’s anger starting to slowly subside and Sydney’s sadness reappearing.
“It was a mistake. I never meant for it to happen. And then… and then I found myself pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve spent the past week trying to tell him and deciding whether or not I want to keep it. He still doesn‘t know and… I don‘t think I want this.”
Suddenly, Nadia began to feel bad. Her sister might have been insane, but she was clearly conflicted and in need of help.
“Sydney… what are you going to do?” Nadia whispered, “You can’t keep it. You just can’t. If the CIA finds out, they’ll have both yours and Vaughn’s asses. And if Vaughn finds out… maybe its best you didn’t tell him at all.”
“That’s what I felt… but… he needs to know. He has the right. As painful as it is, it’s the honest thing to do,” she replied.
“And since when do you care about honesty!? Since when do you care about anything but yourself!? Hell, if you died tomorrow, the only one who’d care would be you!”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
She fought back the urge to say this childish rhyme to her sister and to cry. The truth was, sticks and stones may have broken her bones, but words would ultimately destroy her.
When they were children, Sydney didn’t spend much time with Nadia, but the time they did spend together, they were always fighting. Sydney used to call Nadia things like “inferior” and “a mistake.” Nadia was too little to know what it meant, but she’d always say the rhyme and stick her tongue out at her sister. It was very childish and back then she would scoff, but secretly, when no one saw, she would laugh. She laughed because Nadia truly was oblivious and because of that, nothing bothered her. Still, thinking back, she probably did hurt her, to some extent.
Nadia was right, though. Since when did she care? When did she find herself actually caring about anything about herself? It was back when she spent her first night with Vaughn. She cared because she knew he did. With all that was going on… maybe Vaughn wouldn’t care, even if she did drop dead tomorrow.
That brought her back to square one; solitude.
“That’s all that matters,” Sydney said, her voice low and guttural, before slamming the door on her sister’s face.
She didn’t bother turning the lights on. She just fell forward onto her bed, laying on her back, covering her face with her hands. When she knew Nadia had left, she let the tears flow freely. For the first time in a long while, she cried for herself; not about losing Vaughn or her mother, but for herself and her existence. Now, even she began to pity what she had become.
“Everything that happened… its all because of you!” she shouted, grabbing her father by the collar of his shirt and slamming him against his desk.
“That’s not true,” he replied.
“And why is that!?”
If looks could kill, he’d be dead a thousand times over. This was a time when she was at her absolute darkest. On a good day, when she felt content, her eyes were still glazed over with anger, hatred and malice. She always wore a frown, and even the area surrounding her eyes had darkened. She truly was a sociopath.
“Because its your fault.”
Sydney growled like a rabid dog, slamming him back against his desk, Even through the pain, he remained calm, which was what she hated the most.
“You know that’s not true!” she protested, “Everything that’s happened to me and to my mother is because of you!”
“No, its because of you.”
He was quieter and calmer than usual, and she knew he was hiding something. He had that look from years ago, when she was a child; she’d ask him if he loved her and he reply, “yes” with no questions asked, no hesitation, like any normal parent would. Even as a little kid, she grew to know when he was concealing something. Unlike normal parents who never hesitated to confess their love for their child, he really didn’t love her. If anything, he feared her. She had come to the conclusion; if it weren’t for her mother, he’d have killed her long ago.
“What are you hiding!?” she asked, tightening her grip, “Why are you lying, even now!?”
“You say this is my fault… but its as much as your mother’s. If it is both our faults, its because its your fault.”
“What are you talking about!?” Sydney asked, growing even more furious, “Mother loved me! You treated me like garbage, even when I’d done nothing wrong!”
“You’re wrong about that… which is why it is our fault. but yours in the end.”
Giving him a chance to explain, she made direct eye contact with him.
“You were nothing but a means to an end which was dragged on far too long. We thought it would be over and done with the second you were born, but it wasn’t. We both agreed with our agencies so we could end the madness and go back to our lives, but you resulted in even more insanity. Because of you, your mother was forced to spend a lifetime with me, the enemy, and away from her family. I was forced into a life I never wanted, as was she. You took away her happiness. She never showed it but you… you made her miserable. She did not love you.”
Sydney let go of him, stepping back, “That’s not true! You’re trying to make this easier on yourself!”
“You were not loved. You were not cared for, because of what you were and what you represented. She tried not to blame you, tried to love you, but deep down, she hated you all the same, as did I. Its your fault for destroying our lives, which is why its ours for destroying yours.”
----------
“Mommy!”
She ran from the playground over to her mother, into her arms. Nadia was in a stroller next to them, sleeping contently.
“What is it?” he mother asked, wiping the sand that caked itself onto her daughter’s face.
“Those boys,” she pointed to a group of boys her age who were laughing, “They pushed me in the sand! I wanted to hit them, but daddy told me never to hit, not ever!”
Her mother smiled a sad smile, bringing her daughter close to her chest. She embraced her tightly, “Do you love yourself, Sydney?”
“What?”
“Do you love yourself?”
“Sure I do, but-”
“Than that’s all that matters; love yourself; live only for yourself. For someone like you… that’s the only hope, the only choice, you really have.”
This was days before Laura Bristow’s death. Sydney looked up into her mother’s, not understanding what she meant. Even as a prodigy, she still couldn’t quite grasp her mother’s words.
“For someone like me…,” she repeated.
She understood it well, now. She understood what her mother had meant that day, and that her father’s words all those years ago weren’t just a tactic to get into her head. It was all true.
“For someone like me, the only love I’ll ever know and share is the love for myself. Its my only chance at survival, and I will survive.”
She’d heed her mother’s advice, which she’d been unknowingly doing for her entire life.
“But Vaughn…”
When she had met him, this all seemed so different. Life seemed to have meaning. Now she realized that her mother spoke the truth; it was Vaughn who had caused her the happiness, but all of this pain, as well, which just wasn‘t worth it. She was much better off when she was alone, as was he.
“Love myself? Live for myself? I will. I have to.”
6helterskelter6
Cadet
WHAT IS SYDNEY DOING?!?!??!?!?!??!??!? GAH!!!
texasalias2004
Cadet
Great chapter. I hope that Sydney will tell Vaughn about the baby. Maybe Nadia will feel bad and tell him. haha
texasalias
texasalias
derevkointraining
Cadet
wow.. great update! very powerful.
but i hope she realizes vaughn does love her and that she can not get rid of that baby!
thanks for the PM!
but i hope she realizes vaughn does love her and that she can not get rid of that baby!
thanks for the PM!
Nicky_Bristow
Cadet
What is wrong with Sydney, is she stupid or something? she has to tell Vaughn about the baby.
And I so hate Nadia right now, I can't believe she told her not to tell Vaughn.
Great chapter. Can't wait for more.
°°NiCkY°°
And I so hate Nadia right now, I can't believe she told her not to tell Vaughn.
Great chapter. Can't wait for more.
°°NiCkY°°
soccer_sweety_18
Cadet
Great update BUT
Syd really needs to tell Vaughn and where does Nadia get off telling her not to tell Vaughn...but i also think Vaughn she maybe try and talk to her like so what about Nadia they snuck around her before they can do it again.
Thanks for the pm can wait for more!
Syd really needs to tell Vaughn and where does Nadia get off telling her not to tell Vaughn...but i also think Vaughn she maybe try and talk to her like so what about Nadia they snuck around her before they can do it again.
Thanks for the pm
can wait for more!phoenix shotgun 47
Cadet
yay!!! an update!! 
noooo!! what's sydney doing??
she needs to go and talk to vaughn.
i really don't like nadia at the moment.
thanks for the pm.
can't wait for more!
~Kay ^_^
noooo!! what's sydney doing??
she needs to go and talk to vaughn.
i really don't like nadia at the moment.
thanks for the pm.
can't wait for more!
~Kay ^_^
sydneymicheal
Cadet
Nadia needs to mind her own damn business...
Syd needs to talk to Vaughn
not a sister who hates her...
thanks for the pm.
Syd needs to talk to Vaughn
not a sister who hates her...
thanks for the pm.
Lor_Aliasfan47
Cadet
I love this! Can I get a PM?
gtwallichs
Cadet
Great update, but she needs to tell Vaughn!