It Hurt

[nattie700]

This is a poen I wrote you can relate it to the Telling in a way but since this is non-alias fiction I bring it forth to you to judge as however you like. I am sorry to make you suffer from my ghastly poetry, just needed to get this out of my system. Comments/criticism appreciated.
nattie


It hurt
The knife that he had plunged into her heart
He was meant to look for her. Search and search
Until he found her, never
Resting until she was in his arms
Their hearts beating as one
Satirical fantasy
She has lost faith because he has lost faith
Opening her eyes, she wishes she were a little girl again
Messed-up, unprotected, lost, feeling
Used and alone
Call to me, save me
Help me

 

[sugababyboo]

This is a poen I wrote you can relate it to the Telling in a way but since this is non-alias fiction I bring it forth to you to judge as however you like. I am sorry to make you suffer from my ghastly poetry, just needed to get this out of my system. Comments/criticism appreciated.
nattie


It hurt
The knife that he had plunged into her heart
He was meant to look for her. Search and search
Until he found her, never
Resting until she was in his arms
Their hearts beating as one
Satirical fantasy
She has lost faith because he has lost faith
Opening her eyes, she wishes she were a little girl again
Messed-up, unprotected, lost, feeling
Used and alone
Call to me, save me
Help me

Granted, this is the only poem I've read from you but I can tell that your poetry is not ghastly! I loved how you caputred the raw emotion that syd or any in her siuatuon can empathize with. Hopefully, you'll post more of your work.

 

[nattie700]

Oops! I also forgot to mention that if you read the letters down it spells out a phrase so that's why it's broken up all funny, and thankyou sugababyboo!!! :flowers:

nattie

 

[sugababyboo]

I didn't even notice that! That's clever! No prob hun :flowers: :blowakiss:

 

[ukaliaschick]

ur poem isnt gastly at all. i really really like it. it could be about any thing and not just alias. thats what i like about a lot of poety because its not specific about what it is about.
u have a talent for writing poetry. please keep writing!!!
ukaliaschick :scotsman:

 

[Sarah Vartan]

I love it! Very clever how it spells out It hurt so much! muy bien!