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Remembering You

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by kate_jones, Apr 19, 2003.

  1. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Apr 10, 2003
    Hi everybody. I wrote a new story. It's two years into the future, but all will become clear as you read it. Please review, critique, reply.
    (The bits in italics are Sydney's flashbacks)

    The two women walked through the park, leaves crunching under their feet. Their arms were linked and they were laughing and talking over each other as they recounted some little adventure they had had together. A blonde little girl ran before them, desperately pulling on a dog’s leash. The dog, a Dalmatian puppy, was excitedly running in circles. The woman with short brown hair was pushing a baby carriage while she chatted with her friend. They had been friends for a few years, ever since Belle had appeared in the small town.

    She was lying on the ground. What was she doing there? She slowly sat up and looked frantically around her. She was leaning against a tree in the middle of some kind of little park. On one side of the park were great mansions, probably plantations at one time. On the other side was a harbour, filled with small fishing boats and a few liners making their way to the ocean. She stood up shakily, holding on to one of the park benches for support. Her hand unconsciously went to her lip – there was dried blood on it. She had obviously been in some kind of fight and from the looks of it, she had lost. Walking through the park towards the barrier beside the ocean, she noticed a woman and child standing by the railing with a fishing pole. The little girl was trying to hold the pole while her mother threaded the fishing wire through. They weren’t having much luck, and Sydney couldn’t help but laugh. She walked over slowly. “May I?” she asked quietly. The woman handed her the pole and wire and Sydney quickly fixed it for them. The little girl was amazed.
    “Wow! Where did you learn to do that?!?” she asked, taking back her pole.
    Sydney smiled and shook her head. “I can’t remember” she said slowly.
    The woman looked at her curiously. “Are you okay?” she asked. “That’s a nasty cut on your lip.”
    Sydney touched her lip again. “Can you tell me where I am?” she asked.
    The woman was shocked. “You’re in Charleston, West Virginia. My name is Vanessa Jackson and I live right over there” she said in a soft Southern drawl, pointing to a large house down the street. “You look a little shook up, hon. Would you like to come over and get cleaned up, have something cool to drink?”
    Sydney nodded, surprised by the woman’s kindness. Vanessa linked her arm into Sydney’s and they walked down the street. The little girl walked beside Sydney, staring at her curiously, her fishing lesson forgotten.
    When they reached the house, Sydney had already heard about all of Vanessa’s neighbours and their stories. Vanessa was just starting in on the weather when she thought to ask for Sydney’s name.
    The truth was, Sydney had been trying to think of it the whole way home. “I…I don’t know” she stammered.
    The little girl, Zara, laughed gleefully. “If you don’t have a name, can I give you one? Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase?” she pleaded.
    “Zara, she has a name. She just doesn’t remember it right now” Vanessa explained.
    “Well, how about for until you remember?” she asked.
    Sydney was melted by the little girl’s eyes. When Zara grew up, she would be able to get anything she wanted. With blonde curls and blue eyes, she looked just like a little cherub. “If you want to, you and I can pick out a name to use until I remember” she told Zara.
    The child immediately raced up the stairs and returned a moment later clutching a book. She opened it and pointed to a picture.
    “You could be Belle Boyd! Isn’t that a pretty name?”
    ‘Belle Boyd was a spy during the Civil War. She passed messages from the north on to the Southern generals’ Sydney read. “It’s a very nice name, Zara…”she looked at the little girl again, which proved to be a mistake. She couldn’t say no now! “Okay. I’ll be Belle Boyd…”

    “Cicero!” called Sydney. “Zara, just pull on his leash and he’ll come back.”
    Zara was being dragged down the pathway, her heels kicking up clouds of dust as she skidded.
    “Mama, can Cicero and I go play?” asked Zara. At seven, the child was even cuter than at 5, when Sydney had first met the family.
    “You’ll have to ask Belle, baby” her mother replied.
    “Belle, can Cicero and I go play?” Zara asked in her sweetest voice.
    “Of course, hon. But stay close so your mama and I can see you, okay?” she replied.
    Zara and the puppy bounded away. Sydney and Vanessa watched her running around, giggling happily and playing with the dog.
    “I’m so glad you got that dog, Belle. Now Zara spends more time at your house than at ours!” Sydney had found a small house in the center of Charleston, not far from Vanessa’s. Vanessa had helped her find it and move in. Then they three of them had painted it together.

    “Belle? Where should we put this couch?” called Vanessa from the entrance.
    “I have a couch?” asked Sydney, coming out of the kitchen. “I have a couch! Oh, Vanessa where did you find this?”
    “Garage sale”
    “It’s great! Kind of…gross, but I love it anyway!” Sydney said happily. She was glad to be out of Vanessa’s house and out of the way.
    “I’ll get Jake to move it over there, okay?” Vanessa said. Her husband, Jake, was helping them out today.
    Sydney couldn’t see where Vanessa was pointing, but she said “Okay!” anyway.
    “Vanessa, who picked out this god-awful colour?” she asked, opening the can of paint they had just bought.
    “You did, Belle!” was the reply.
    Sydney crinkled her nose and started pouring the paint into trays. “Zara, are you going to help us paint?” she asked the little girl, who was sitting on the kitchen table, eating a Popsicle and watching her.
    “When I’m done my Popsicle” said Zara.
    Later that day, after Vanessa and Sydney had painted all that needed paint, Zara had asked if she could help.
    “All the painting is done, love” her mother told her.
    “Can I put a handprint on the wall?” asked Zara sweetly.
    “A handprint?!?” exclaimed Vanessa.
    “Actually, that could look kind of cool, don’t you think?” said Sydney. She thought for a moment, then jumped up and got a different colour of paint. Taking a paintbrush, she painted Zara’s palm orange.
    “There. Now put your hand right….there.” she said, pointing to a spot on the wall. “And right…there. And there.”
    When she and Zara were finished, there was a pattern of handprints bordering the room. Zara giggled happily and clapped, making blobs of paint from her hands fly everywhere.
    “Ooops…” she said.

    It was a pretty house, and every time she walked down the hallway she thought of how much she was loved by Vanessa and Zara.
    “Are we going to the candy store after our walk?” asked Sydney.
    “Oh, don’t let Zara hear you saying that”
    “Saying what?” piped up Zara. “I heard my name and ‘candy.’ Oh, mamma! Can we go to the candy store?”
    “See what you’ve done, Belle?” said her mother, rolling her eyes. “Maybe later” she told her daughter, who was bouncing around.
    “Zara, where’s Cicero?” asked Sydney, noticing that the dog was nowhere to be seen.
    “Uh oh…” said the little girl. “Cicero! Cicero!” she called.
    “Zara! Come on, we have to find him before he gets lost” said Vanessa. Soon the three of them were all calling for the lost puppy.
  2. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Apr 4, 2003
    Hmmm....This is very interesting. You've deffinately got my attention. :D Are you going to bring Vaughn into the story?? :D I hope so. ;)
  3. aliaschick4mv

    aliaschick4mv Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    East Coast
    LMAO she said S/V so I guess so... this sounds interesting, I can't wait for more! TTFN!

    Pumpkin ya,
  4. Mrs. Karie Vartan

    Mrs. Karie Vartan Rocket Ranger

    Apr 4, 2003
    Woops!! I failed to notice that part. :shamefullyembarrased: lol. Thanks for pointing that out for me. :D So, YEA!! There will be Vaughn!! :P :LOL:
  5. mer_vaughn

    mer_vaughn Rocket Ranger

    Mar 13, 2003
    Sacramento, California
    Hmm...interesting. I must know more. Please keep going... -_-
  6. nancee

    nancee Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    from da hood
    intersesting...but why is it called remembering u?.....::gasps::did u kill vaughn!?!?!?! nooooooooo!!!! post more....heehee<=D}
  7. aliasjgfanaticmv

    aliasjgfanaticmv Rocket Ranger

    Jan 9, 2003
    shouldn't matter to you where I live
    Because she lost her memory and now she's trying to remember him :) LMAO!! This is a great start, you're a wonderful writer, and I'm really interested in seeing where this goes :)
  8. A.I.C.

    A.I.C. Rocket Ranger

    Apr 21, 2003
    Nice chapter! I'm looking forward to another chap!
  9. btvaughn

    btvaughn Rocket Ranger

    Dec 7, 2002
    I'm excited...this sounds like it could turn into something truly entertaining. I'm interested right now...so I can't wait for more!
  10. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Mar 31, 2003
    the outskirts of HELL
    ok this is a great start!! but um ok this in charleston right? well there is no ocean there!! i used to live so i know.... i wish there was. :mad: anyways yeah this is interesting but keep goin!! (y) :D
  11. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Apr 10, 2003
    Oh, I meant to change that! It's meant to be Charleston, South Carolina. :shamefullyembarrased: oops!
  12. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Apr 10, 2003
    I thought I already posted this...I must be going mad. Oh, I posted it yesterday and it was lost! Well, here it is again.

    Chapter 2

    “There he is!” shouted Zara happily after a while. Cicero was trotting towards them, being led by a stranger. The two of them walked over to where the women had stopped calling, their voices hoarse.
    “Excuse me. Is this your dog?” asked the man, offering the leash to Zara.
    Zara shook her head, her curls bouncing. “Nuh uh. It’s Belle’s” she told him, pointing towards Sydney.
    “Belle?” asked the man, as he looked up at the women. Sydney smiled and held out her hand to take the leash. He froze as he looked at her. His emerald green eyes locked onto hers, searching them. She stared back, confused.
    “Sydney?” he finally asked. All she could do was look at him. She had no idea who this man was and why he was calling her Sydney. She looked at him blankly.
    “Syd?” he repeated quietly. She looked at Vanessa, who was shrugging, then back to the man.
    “No, her name’s Belle Boyd” piped up Zara. “I named her!”
    Sydney laughed. Zara told every one they met that she had named Sydney. “I’m sorry” she said. “I’m not Sydney.”
    “Sydney, don’t you remember me? What’s wrong?”
    Sydney just shook her head. “Who are you?” she asked.
    “Vaughn. I’m the one who loved you. I’m the one who never forgot you, who couldn’t forget you. I’m the one who never stopped looking for you. I just never thought I would ever find you!“ he said passionately. He desperately wanted to touch her, to make sure she was real, but she looked so bewildered. “Why can’t you remember me?” he asked.
    Sydney was feeling more and more uncomfortable. “You haven’t even given me your name.” she asked again, shakily.
    “Michael Vaughn” he replied, equally disturbed. “Sydney, please!” he grabbed hold of her hand and she snatched it away.
    “Tell me exactly who you are and why you think you know me” she said, trying to be logical. Perhaps this strange man had known her before she had come. Before she had to restart her life. Perhaps he knew who she realy was.
    Vaughn sighed. “My name is Michael Vaughn, and you and I were in love. We worked together for the CIA two years ago. We had just started dating. But then you were abducted on a mission and we never found you…until now.”
    Vanessa raised her eyebrows skeptically. “You’re saying she was a spy or something?”
    “Cool!” said Zara, who was holding her mother’s hand and peeking from behind her skirt. She was quickly shushed by Vanessa who said, “Maybe you two want to go talk somewhere…”
    Sydney shot her a look to silence her.
    “That’s not a bad idea” said Vaughn. “Would you like to have lunch with me so I can prove I’m not a lunatic?”
    Sydney smiled. “I guess…so” she said somewhat reluctantly. “Want to go to Bubba Gump’s?”
    “Bubba Gump’s?” asked Vaughn. “What’s that?”
    “It’s a restaurant dedicated to Forrest Gump. It’s a good place to just hang out and chat. Plus it’s close to my house.”
    “You…you have a house?” asked Vaughn, then mentally smacked himself. “Sorry, I’m just surprised. You had a house in L.A. too. It seems weird for you to have one here.”
    Sydney gave him a small smile, then turned to Vanessa and said, “Can you take Cicero back home for me?” Vanessa nodded. “Bye Zara, do I get a kiss?” Zara bounced over and kissed Sydney on the cheek.
    “Bye Belle! Bye Mr. Michael!” she said as she grabbed her mother’s hand again. Vanessa took the baby carriage from Sydney, kissed her on the cheek and walked away.

  13. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    post more post more. need more need more. its getting really really good. its sad that she cant remember Vaughn.
  14. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Apr 10, 2003
    I was planning to post this chapter tonight, so I might as well. Enjoy!

    Chapter 3

    Vaughn let out a sigh of relief. “I was afraid that was your baby” he said as they walked out of the park.
    “No, no. That’s Vanessa’s. His name is Thomas and the little girl is Zara.”
    “You’re not married, are you Syd?” Vaughn asked nervously, afraid of what his answer might be.
    Sydney laughed. “Nope, not yet”
    “Do you have a boyfriend?”
    Sydney looked at him. “Not that it’s any of your business” she said pointedly, “but no, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
    Vaughn couldn’t help but smile happily at this news. He was ecstatic to be with Sydney again, even if she had no idea who he was.
    She looked over at him, and saw him staring at her. “What?” she asked.
    “I’m sorry. You’re just so beautiful” he told her. “I’m so happy to see you again.”
    “We’re here” she said as they walked up to a tented patio where 15 tables were set out. “Inside or outside?”
    “Which is better?” he asked.
    “Outside you can watch the people. But inside, you can watch Forrest Gump…” she told him. “I say inside.”
    “Sounds good” Vaughn said as they walked into the building. “Hey, is that the suit that Tom Hanks wore in the movie?”
    “Yup” said Sydney. She ate at Bubba Gump’s far too often and knew all about the paraphernalia hung on the walls. They sat down at a table in the corner.
    For a second, neither of them spoke.
    “Look, Michael. I don’t know what you want from me exactly. I have a life here, and I’m not going to leave it just because you tell me I’m a spy from L.A. who’s in love with you”
    “Syd- sorry, Belle. What I want is to have you back.” He sighed. “Can you tell me about…this life?” he asked.
    “Um, okay. I showed up in a park, all beaten up. I met Vanessa and Zara, who were kind enough to let me stay with them for a few months. I got a job at a bank and bought my own little house. Um…I just bought a dog because I was lonely.”
    Vaughn laughed. “You work in a bank?” he asked incredulously.
    “Yeah, what’s so funny about that?”
    “It’s just that when you were at the CIA, your cover, the story you told your friends, was that you worked at a bank. Sydney, I need to make you remember. Do you remember anything at all? Do you remember our first date? When we were in France and we went for dinner? We talked for hours, and then the restaurant owner offered us a room key. We decided to take it, but we never got the chance. Do you remember that?”

    Sydney shook her head sadly. “I’m so sorry, Michael. I know this is probably very hard for you, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t just remember like that.”
    Vaughn looked tired all of a sudden. “I don’t know what to do either, Syd. I never thought I would find you, I thought my life was over! But I knew you weren’t dead, I knew you couldn’t be so I didn’t give up looking. I looked everywhere. Your father did too. We were so sick with worry. Even when the CIA gave up looking, he and I didn’t. I’m not going to just walk away and forget you now. I love you too much to do that. Maybe there’s some way to get your memory back…We could go to the CIA and you could undergo hypnotic regression therapy.”
    “Hypnotic regression therapy? What exactly are we talking about here?” she asked warily.
    “They just hypnotize you and it brings back memories. You’ve done it before. You did it when you wanted to remember a specific time when your father was training you.”
    “What do you mean, my father was training me?”
    “You father also works for the CIA. Look, if you come to L.A. we can deal with all this. You can get your old life back. You just have to trust me a little bit.”
    Sydney looked at him. He looked so forlorn, so lost. He was obviously very much in love with her and she could imagine being in love with him. He was certainly very cute.
    “I don’t know…” she said slowly. “There are so many issues with this. I don’t know if it would be very smart to go off to L.A. with a stranger who claims to know me.” The strange thing was that Sydney didn’t feel like he was a stranger. She felt safe when he was near her, like he would protect her from anything. “Okay” she said finally.
    Vaughn raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “Okay? You’ll come back?”
    She nodded, smiling at the elated look on his face.

  15. bluheart13

    bluheart13 Rocket Ranger

    Feb 26, 2003
    YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!PWESE POST MORE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ITS GETTING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OHHHH HYPNOSIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    timmy :ninja:
  16. sbmv12

    sbmv12 Rocket Ranger

    Apr 1, 2003
    Wow, this story is awsome!!!! I love it. Please post more soon!

    Thanks alot
    ~Kyle~ :D
  17. krisAll4Alias

    krisAll4Alias Rocket Ranger

    Feb 28, 2003
    This is a GREAT story! please keep writing. I wish I could be this creative with my writing.
  18. Xtremelimits08

    Xtremelimits08 Rocket Ranger

    Apr 19, 2003
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Great chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    please write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  19. Alias_luver33

    Alias_luver33 Rocket Ranger

    Apr 9, 2003
    MI, US
    :D Wow! Amazing story!! I love it! Write more soon!

    ~Shammi~ :love:
  20. Ames47

    Ames47 Amy Strikes Back

    Mar 31, 2003
    the outskirts of HELL
    i love charleston sc!!! great place my sister goes to school there!! ok off topic but anyways love it as always!! post more soon!! :D (y)

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