considering my updating schedule for this fic, the waiting time wasn't that long :lol:
hope you like it
Chapter 18
“You slept with Scott? That’s…” Nadia stopped when she took a closer look at Sydney. She had intended to say that this was great, but Sydney’s guilt ridden face told her otherwise. “It’s not good.” She stated instead and waited for her to agree or deny it.
“No, it’s not,” Sydney shook her head furiously, “Not one little bit.”
“Why?” Nadia looked at her asking, “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Yeah, right,” Sydney sighed deeply, running a hand over her face, “Nothing wrong,” She muttered and got up quickly, continuing to change into her street clothes.
“Talk to me,” Nadia demanded, grabbing one if Sydney’s hands and pulling her down again, forcing her to stay down. “What’s so bad about it?”
“You really don’t get it?” Sydney asked and Nadia could have sworn the look she gave her was one full of disbelief.
“No, so explain it,” She looked at her, mustering as much patience as she could.
“I…I’m already an adulterer…” Sydney began, her voice unsteady when emotions seemed to catch up with her. Bringing all that unpleasant knowledge back was hard and she could already feel the burning in the back of her throat and her stomach clench painfully. She sure knew how to bring herself in complicated situations. And painful ones.
She swallowed hard, willing memories to disappear into blissful ignorance again, wanting forgot about all her mistakes. Unfortunately, she just kept making new ones, “And now… now I’m the girl who sleeps with her friend just to…” Sydney paused for a moment, quickly wiping one eye before that tear threatening to fall, could escape, “Just to make me feel better,” Somehow, she had expected to feel slightly better once she had said it, but it only made her actions that much more obvious.
“Oh, don’t think of it as that,” Nadia interjected, “That’s not…” She didn’t get any further because she was cut off by Sydney.
“That’s exactly what it is,” She replied sadly, “I didn’t plan on it to happen when I called him but when I kissed him it was to feel better, nothing more.”
“So, you have no feelings for him whatsoever?” Nadia question, not really believing that Sydney would sleep with him without feeling something. Well, besides the need to forget.
“I don’t know,” Sydney sighed heavily in response, “I haven’t got the slightest clue as to what I’m feeling anymore.”
“So, theoretically you could have feelings for him?” Nadia asked carefully.
“Maybe, but a new relationship isn’t exactly what I need or even should have at the moment,” Sydney answered. Life was complicated and it seemed with every decision she made, she made it more messed up and confusing.
“What are you going to do now? And most importantly, tell Scott?” Somehow, Nadia doubted Sydney had an answer to that question but she had to ask anyway.
“I don’t know,” Sydney shrugged and laughed bitterly, “That seems to be the sentence of the day.” She needed a solution but where to get it? Maybe she should just leave everything behind and start somewhere new. With no one who knew her. It was a silly idea but the more she thought about it, the more appealing it became. Though, she had never been a quitter, and she wouldn’t start now.
“You have to talk to him,” Nadia reminded her softly.
“I know, I just don’t know what to tell him,” Sydney gave her a weak smile.
“Tell him what you feel,” Nadia suggested, well knowing what Sydney was going to reply. But she needed to face her problems and make decisions. She hoped that Sydney would finally give her and Scott a chance. They could be happy and Sydney deserved happy, especially after Michael.
The thing that worried her was that Sydney chose to be back together, if you could call it being together. She was finally free of him, if she went back, it would start all over again.
“I don’t know what I feel,” Sydney said with a slight hint of desperation in her voice.
“Then tell him,” Nadia urged her, “But tell him something if you want him at least as a friend.”
“I just hope it’s not already too late for that,” Sydney muttered quietly, not daring to utter her fears loud.
Not that she needed to speak loudly with Nadia sitting right next to her, “It’s never too late as long as you try. And be honest,” She nudged Sydney’s side playfully, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
“I hope you’re right,” Sydney replied defeated and stood up to finally get dressed so that she could leave. To go home. Home where with a high chance Scott was waiting for her.
“I’m always right,” Nadia laughed and even though Sydney couldn’t see her, she was sure of the big smirk on Nadia’s face.
She turned around and raised an eyebrow at her, “Really?”
“Yeah,” Nadia grinned, “But now, hurry to get home, and I want every detail tomorrow.”
“We’ll see about that,” Sydney muttered and hid the sly smirk on her face. She knew that she was now pushing Nadia’s buttons. She always had to know everything and Sydney had often teased her with that.
“We will.” Nadia replied certainly and waved lightly as Sydney walked out, giving her a smile.
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