This is so amazing. I'm sorry i didn't read it earlier but I've been on vacation. i was so happy to see that you had posted a new fic though, and YES, I WOULD LOVE A PM! i really like Sydney's character in this because she is so broken. I'm happy that she has finally opened up to Michael because I think that talking about it will really help her break down her walls. Cute Michael...he's so sweet to her. PLEASE DON'T LET ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN TO HER!
I'm glad she finally opened up to Michael. He now knows she's expecting all good things to explode in her face and the people she loves, either to die or betray her.
Chapter 8
Sometime in the middle of the night Sydney awoke and was confused of her surroundings. There were warm, strong arms around her and her head was resting on someone’s chest that was rising and falling slowly. She raised her head slightly and saw Michael sleeping peacefully with his head resting against the arm of the sofa. She had to admit that waking up this way made her smile; it made her feel safe. Yet the scared, insecure part of her that was still slightly broken was afraid.
It had happened. She had fallen for him. She tried to stop it but she just couldn’t help it because he was amazing and wonderful and he cared for her like no one had in quite some time. She had let her guard down and she had fallen for him hard but now she was in a vulnerable spot. She could keep going. She could continue their relationship. She could let him love her, but could she?
She tried to ignore her nagging thoughts of uncertainty and fall back asleep but it was difficult. Her mind just kept playing out scenarios, horrible ones, so she ended up being awake all night, just listening to the sound of Michael’s breathing.
~*~
Michael awoke and tried to stretch his aching back but he couldn’t since he was weighted down with something or rather someone. He looked down and saw the top of Sydney’s head resting on his chest with her brown hair fanned out on his arm. He smiled slightly as he tried to adjust once more, being careful not to wake her. But she sat up when she felt him move.
“Hi.” She smiled.
“Hey.” He said as he tried to stretch his neck, causing it to crack loudly. “Sorry.” He mumbled at the disturbed expression on her face.
“It’s ok. Thanks for staying with me last night.” She smiled.
“No problem.” He smiled back. “I’m gonna go shower, change, etc but do you want to grab some lunch then?”
“Sure.” She smiled.
“Great.” He said as he got off the couch and walked towards the door, but before he left he looked back and winked at her.
Sydney sighed slightly as she made her way to the shower, unable to get the fact that he looked entirely sexy with a day’s worth of stubble on his face out of her mind.
~*~
When Sydney opened her apartment door she found Vaughn already outside waiting for her. He smiled, said hello and took her hand as they walked towards the elevator.
“So... you still want to hang out with me even after you know how irreversibly screwed up I am?” She asked timidly.
“What? Of course.” He smiled as he tucked some hair out of her face. “I’m really glad you told me.”
“Me too.” She sighed. “I never told anyone before... ever.” He smiled as he kissed her forehead and thanked her for telling him. “You’re welcome but... I’m still going to need some time to....”
“It’s ok. Take the time you need.” He smiled.
~*~
Michael had thought that after Sydney’s confession of her less than blissful past she would open up more to him. Or at least he hoped that she would. No, he truly believed that she would. Her admission had been the first stepping stone and she would let him in slowly but in a matter of time, right?
Unfortunately, he couldn’t have been more wrong. In fact, Sydney’s admissions had actually seemed to make it worse. For the first few days, everything was alright. Sydney actually seemed to be more relaxed and less tense around him which gave Michael a false sense of hope. Then the next week she started to get more distant and reclusive again. She would go out with him but stay mostly silent the whole time and only answer direct questions. It wasn’t always that way, some days she acted like her old self but most of the time she was shut down around him. She even tended to react negatively when he kissed her. In fact, it actually seemed like she was trying to push it away but whether it was intentional or subconsciously, he wasn’t sure.
Michael was practically beside himself with confusion. On the one hand he had fallen desperately in love with her and craved her more than ever. But, on the other hand he didn’t know how much longer he could support their one sided relationship before he broke. He didn’t want to leave her but he didn’t know what to do to get her to let him in and at the rate she was going it looked like she never would.
Finally when Sydney’s hot and cold routine had gone on for over a month, they fought about it and that’s when an ultimatum came to light.
Michael and Sydney had been quietly watching a movie on the couch for the past two hours. Sydney had been silent the whole time, something that had been happening over the past few weeks. Michael had to admit that he found her talkativeness during films annoying at first but he had come to except it and when she suddenly stopped, he missed it.
“Hey, whatcha thinking?” He asked sweetly.
Her eyes darted over to him briefly but then looked away. “Nothing.” She said shortly.
“Damn it Sydney, I can’t do this anymore!” He shouted with frustration.
Stunned by his outburst, Sydney looked at him questioningly. “What?”
“This, I can’t do this! You’re pushing me away. I’m trying to get in but you just... you won’t let me. I can’t keep this up; I’m exhausted trying. I’ve tried everything I can but I guess.... I guess you just don’t want to let me in. I only hope that you can find someone you trust before it’s too late.” He sighed sadly as he stood up from the couch.
“Wait, are you leaving?” She asked as she too stood.
He nodded his head slowly. “I’m sorry Sydney. I don’t want to leave, I love you but... I just don’t know what else to do to help you.” He admitted. He knew that was the first time he had confessed his love for her in the back of his mind he thought it could be his final way of breaking through to her but her facial expression was unchanging. He had lost and now there was nothing else to do but go even though that broke his heart.
His hand was just about an inch above the door handle when she rushed forward and said tearfully. “Wait, please don’t go.” He turned to look at her, not saying a word. “Please, please I can try. I know.... I know I’ve been pushing you away... I just... I couldn’t stand it if you left me and... and I don’t know... god, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She sniffed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m just... I’m afraid to be happy.”
“I know.” Michael whispered.
“I’m sorry Michael, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to push you away.... it just happened. Please, please give me one more chance please.” She begged, tears streaming down her face.
Michael looked hesitant. He wanted to give her another chance but he knew that the longer he stayed, the more attached he would get to her. She took a few cautious steps forward and slipped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. “Please, please... I love you Michael.” She said very quietly in a shaky voice.
Michael’s breath caught in his chest. He knew she meant what she said and he also knew that it must have been a difficult admission for her to make. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her back, kissing the top of her head in the process. “Okay.” He said quietly. She squeezed him tighter and thanked him quietly.
awwww that was so good!! im so glad syd is finally getting over her issues! i love that he stayed to, but only 2 chaps left was this really short? or is it just me? thanks for the pm!
Great chapter. Please post the epilogue with the last chapter. I leave for europe on Saturday and i would really like to finish reading this fic before I leave.
irate2:
