Love Her Back To Life

nwtly

Cadet
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Love Her Back To Life</span>
“We always find each other”

Title: Love Her Back To Life
Author: Nwtly (Laurie)
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the wonderful JJ Abrams. I own none of them, unfortunately.
Time line: AU. The story begins one year and a half after Sydney’s death. There are spoilers from the episodes 304 A Missing Link and 311 Full Disclosure.
Summary: Sydney is dead to everyone, although she’s actually been abducted by the Covenant. She was brainwashed and successfully became Julia Thorne. Vaughn wants revenge for her death and goes undercover, posing as a covenant agent while providing info to the CIA in order to take down the people that killed the love of his life. But what if Julia is the agent he’s supposed to work with?
Author’s note: I came up with this idea four months ago. I tried to forget it, but my muse wouldn’t leave me alone, so I decided to write it.
I initially wrote it in French , but I really wanted to share it with everyone here. Sharing this fic with you would be impossible without Jenn, who helped me translating the French chapters into English one! I love ya!
I also wanted to tell you that since I’m actually taking exams, I might not update this as often as I would like to. However, as soon as I have the time to write and translate a chapter, I’ll post it here. Sorry about that!
I’m gonna stop rambling with my life, and ON WITH THE SHOW!

<span style='font-size:12pt;line-height:100%'>Chapter One: My name is Julia Thorne.</span>

She was running when she got out of the hotel room. She didn’t know where she was going, or how far she would go. All she knew was that she wanted to run away, forget that her life was a total disaster, forget that... just forget.
She hadn’t even taken the time to close the door, she remembered. But she didn’t care. She no longer cared about anything in there.
She kept on running, without ever stopping, without trying to know where she was going, without worrying about going too far and getting lost in those streets that succeeded one another and were so much alike.
Now that he was gone, everything was the same. Nothing had taste, or colour. Where was she going to go? What was she going to do? Without him, she didn’t know if she would have the necessary strength.
She arrived at an intersection and raised her eyes towards the name of the streets, stopping for a few seconds in order to choose her path.
« Route de l’amour » (Love road) « Rue de la solitude » (Loneliness road) « Voie sans issue » (One way street)
And then it hit her. What the hell was she thinking about? If without him she had lost her strength, then she would fight for him. For them. Maybe, after all, it wasn’t too late. There had to be some hope.
She started running again, this time going back to the hotel. She was weak, she was breathless, but nothing else mattered. She had chosen.
«Love road»

---------------------------------------

Julia was sitting on one of the bar’s stools dressed with a black leather skirt open on the side and a red top that showed a lot of cleavage.
“I hate waiting” she thought. “He better be very sexy. At least, I could have some fun.”
She had been there ten minutes, drinking her beer, her hand drumming on the counter. She had had the time to be accosted by two men. “Has one of them already seen a blond alone in a bar without thinking she was trying to find someone to spend the night with?”
She had already thought about dyeing her hair brown, but Simon had discouraged her. “Honey, you are so much sexier in blond” he had whispered in her ear before taking possession of her.
Thinking about him, her face folded. Sometimes, he drove her mad. In fact, she liked being with him because she had physical control over him. He never resisted her. On the other hand, if she dictated the rules of their physical game, Simon was the one having power over her regarding their work. And she hated that.
“Perhaps the new one will be able to help me”, she hoped.
She looked at her watch. 8:17 PM. It had been too long. She was going home. As she was leaving a bill on the counter to pay her drink, she saw him and suddenly stopped dead.
Curiously, her heart had just stopped beating, and then had started going again like crazy. In fact, she had never felt it beat so fast. He was standing a few feet away from her, but she had the feeling she could read in his eyes as if they were forehead against forehead. Green. She had always loved green eyes. “What’s up with you? When the hell did you become emotional?”
As Julia was fighting her own feelings, she realised that he had abruptly stopped moving too. Truth be told, he looked like he had also stopped breathing. He was looking at her as if she was a ghost. Then, a few seconds later, he made his way toward her and his hand reached for her cheek. And she didn’t do anything to stop him. She had no control over her body ever since the moment this perfect stranger had thrown his eyes into hers. When his hand came stroking her cheek, she felt a shiver run through her whole body. This growing feeling inside her was different from anything she had ever felt before. And on the other hand, she felt like she was only living for it. That she had been waiting for it for an eternity. Waiting for him for an eternity.
She saw tears running down his cheeks and wondered if she had ever seen a man cry before. The answer to that question quickly came to her mind: she had indeed seen a man cry before. He was begging her not to kill him, to let him live, but she hadn’t listened. She hadn’t even flinched when she had pulled the trigger, and that he had collapsed, lifeless.
Suddenly, she remembered the reason she was there, vainly tried to put her thoughts in order, and pushed this man away. But he got even closer. Dangerously closer.
-Syd... I can’t believe it’s you...
Without knowing why, she had the feeling she knew who he was talking about. For a few seconds, she felt like she was getting lost in herself. Then she realised he had called her by the name of another woman and pulled back for real, so that he couldn’t touch her anymore.
“You won’t get away that easy” said a little voice in her head.
She gathered all her strength and finally was able to detach herself from the power this man had on her. “ I can’t believe I ever thought that Simon had any kind of control over me...”she thought.

---------------------------------------

Vaughn stopped the car’s engine and let out a long sigh. “That’s it”, he thought. “It’s now or never.”
He had learned the hard way that when an opportunity arose, it should be seized. That nothing should be put back until the next day. That you should always tell the one we lo-
“Get ready, boy scout”
The voice in his ear piece brought him back to reality. He took a long breath and got out of the car. He easily located his target; there weren’t a lot of people at this time of day. “I swear, this guy looks just like you”, Weiss had told him. Vaughn thought that the next time he would see his friend, he would have to remember to kick his ass. This man did have the same stature as him, but he honestly didn’t look like him. Thankfully, he thought.
“There’s no way that guy smells as good as you do”. These words, that Weiss had spoken such a long time ago, came back to his mind and transpierced his heart. If only... if only he had known…
But now wasn’t the time to dwell over the past. He knew what he had to do, and this time, he was going to make sure that everything went as he had planned.
He approached the man and pointed a gun on his back as he made sure nobody was watching him.
“Do as I say, or I swear you’ll never see the sunlight again.”
His tone was threatening, cold, emotionless. Over the course of one year, he had changed so much. He had forgotten to smile, to laugh, to live. He had also wanted not to love anymore. But this, he hadn’t been able to. He would always love her. And today, he was doing all of this for her. To make sure that she could rest in peace. To be able to think that if he hadn’t been able to save her, today, he could avenge her death.
The man didn’t flinch, apparently not expecting to be surprised this way.
Vaughn took him to the nearest blind alley and violently threw him against the wall. He leaned towards him and ordered him to reveal his name. The man started to laugh and that was more than the CIA agent could stand. Vaughn violently hit the man on the nose and turned him around so he faced the wall.
-I’m ready to play this game until you tell me your name, the reason you are here, and the instructions you received.
Vaughn stopped talking a second, trying to control his anger. If he had become much more performing in the field over the past year, he had also felt the anger that was burning inside him grow stronger and stronger as days went by.
-I have nothing to lose, he said. I doubt it’s your case.
Despite Vaughn’s threats, the man still wasn’t talking.
Without thinking anymore, Vaughn took the gun he was carrying, and, while maintaining his prey with his other arm, he pointed his weapon to the man’s shoulder.
-Tell me what I want to know, he said, breathless, letting all his rage bleed into his words, or I can assure you I’ll pull the trigger.
-You won’t do it. You hav-
Vaughn fired the shot. If this man thought he was dealing with a beginner, he was mistaken. He was going to get what he wanted, using all the necessary means.
-For the last time, tell me what I want to know.

---------------------------------------

A few minutes later, as planned, a team recovered the man. In the meanwhile, Vaughn had gotten rid of all the CIA equipment he had on him. From now on, he wasn’t CIA anymore. No. He was the newest Covenant agent.
He entered the bar, scanning the room, searching for the woman he had been given the description of. He spotted her easily: she was sitting on one of the bar’s stools, her back turned to him. A strange feeling invaded his body, and he tried to ignore it, but there was nothing he could do about it: it seemed to be a part of him.
Then, when she turned around and gazed in his direction, he thought he was having of an hallucination. Sydney.
How many times had he dreamed of her being right in front of him, just like now? How many times had he felt his heart beat that fast, to the point where he got scared it might get out of his chest?
She had stopped moving too. She was just standing there, and in spite of her dazzling beauty, she looked as lost as he was.
Slowly, he made his way to her, never breaking eye contact, afraid that she might disappear from his life once again. He got closer to her, feeling paralysed. The only thing he was able to do was to raise his hand towards her and stroke he cheek.
Tears started to run down his face and he could do nothing to stop them from falling. But he could cry from now on, because she was beside him again, and nothing else mattered.
-Syd... I can’t believe it’s you.
Only at this moment he noticed the strange expression on her face. Over the course of a few seconds, he had the feeling she had become a totally different person. She finally decided to speak, but Vaughn would have preferred never to hear those words.
-My name is Julia Thorne.

TBC...
Let me know what you think!
 
No, it's Sydney Bristow...right, right??? This is really good. Is she not going to remember him, or is she doing that for his safety? Wowe, what angst!! I love it already. You have me hooked. Can I get a pm when you update? This is fantastic! :D I can't wait to read more, and I hope She tells him it's her :thinking: :D Update soon please!

Love ya,

Penny :angelic:
 
i have a question.. do u think jennifer garner and michael vartan are still together? i've heard from some sources they are.. and others say they aren't!
 
Hey everyone!
So, before apologizing for posting this so late, I have to thank each one of you for reviewing the first chapter. It means a lot more to me than I could ever tell you. Seriously.
About the lateness(Don't even know if that's actually a word...but anyway), R/L kinda got in the way with the exams and everything. And I gotta thank Jenn again for helping me with the translation. ^_^
I made three posters for the fic during the last few days, so just in case you're interrested, I'm giving you the links so that you can see them :whistle:
Poster 1
Poster 2
Poster 3
Ok, now, on with the show!
-Laurie-

<span style='font-size:12pt;line-height:100%'>Chapter 2: Becoming herself again.</span>

She got into the hotel room and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the door, and let herself sank to the floor, as her emotions were starting to take over her. Her eyes closed, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. If only he were there, to wipe it away tenderly, to comfort her, and to love her, simply.
When did my life become such a disaster? she asked herself. Maybe it had always been like that. But today, she was more than tired. She had had enough. She wanted it to stop. Was it too much to ask to want to be happy? She didn’t want an extraordinary life. She just wanted to be like everyone else. To be normal.
How she would have loved to go back to that night, when he had travelled all those miles just to find her, and that he had sat beside her, in this train station...
Everything was so confused in her mind that she needed to remember those memories, in order to make sure that they were actually real...

“Hey”
Sydney’s heat began to beat faster when she realised he was that close to her. Then, the thought that she hadn’t told him where she was crossed her mind.
“Hi. How did you find me?”
“You told me a couple of months ago that when you feel the need to disappear, you go to the observatory. But the observatory was closed. And then I remembered you said the pier calms you down. But you weren't there. And you weren't at the bluffs and the palisades, either.”
“You didn’t really go to all those places?”
It was more a statement than a question. It moved her so much to know that he had travelled all those miles just to find her. To see her. For her. Her.
“Yeah, I did.”
There was another question she would have liked to ask him, but she had no right. She would have given anything, at that very moment, to cuddle into his arms, to feel him stroke her hair, to hear his warm and tender voice in the hollow of her ear; she would have simply liked to take his hand and to able plunge her eyes into his.
“Do you love me like I love you?”
It was the question her heart had wanted to ask Vaughn’s that night.


-------------------------------

He kept on watching her, as if he couldn’t believe what she had just told him.
She had taken control of herself again, but she had no idea how long it would last.
-I think you’re mistaken.
It was all she had been able to say. She thought that Simon was right: she really needed some vacation. It must have been what was causing her current state. There had to be a rational explanation.
No one had ever had this effect on her...And if she was going to work with this man, it was going to be necessary for her to learn how to control herself.
-I...
Vaughn took a deep breath before speaking again. Why was she calling herself Julia? It was his Syd in front of him. He had felt it. He had seen that look in her eyes. Maybe she can’t talk to me, he thought. Maybe she’s just waiting for us to be alone? After all, there were men that had been watching them since he had walked into the bar. So many questions were hustling into his head, so many answers he was eager to receive... but if he had to wait, then he would do it.
-I’m sorry, he said. I had you confused with someone else.
-I don’t have any time to waste.
Julia hoped this man wasn’t the one she was going to have to work with, because if it was the case, she would have to try very hard not to jump on him, being so attracted to him, or not to run away from him, the feelings he seemed to awake in her being strong - and scaring.
She didn’t want to feel anything. Julia Thorne didn’t feel anything. She had fun, used people, betrayed them, but never got emotionally attached. And she was not going to start today, she silently decided.
-I’m here for the assistant job.
It was all she needed to know. It was him.
She turned to the waiter, and asked for two beers, trying to hide her feelings from him, and in the mean time, from herself.
-My name is Michael Vartan.
What were the odds that the man he had taken the identity of had the same name as him? Was it a sign? Did anything in his life made sense at all?
Vaughn wondered what could have been going on in Sydney’s mind. Just like him, she must have been thanking God having them cross paths. He remembered all those nights when he would have given anything just to see her again for a few seconds. And now, she was there, right in front of him, more beautiful than ever. And above all, it wasn’t just a dream.
-I’m going to go straight to the point, Mr Vartan. I need someone really performing in the field, that can have my back, and help me succeed in my missions. There’s no room for mistakes.
-I’m the man you need.
Julia couldn’t keep herself from thinking that his sentence intended a lot more than what he actually meant.
-And how can I be sure about that?
Vaughn drank another sip of his beer, took a quick glance around the room, and answered calmly.
-If you trusted me, these three men wouldn’t have been there, spying on each and every move I made since the moment I set a foot in here.
She smiled at him, understanding with the answer he had just given her that they would probably make a good team, and took a sheet of paper out of her purse.
-These are the instructions for our first mission. I’ll meet you in Paris in two days.
Once she was done speaking, she got up, dropped a bill on the counter, and prepared to leave.
-It was nice meeting you, Michael, she said.
A million of conflicting thoughts invaded Vaughn’s mind. Without thinking further, he took Sydney’s hand and prevented her from leaving.
-Could we talk in a safer place?
He insisted on that word, in order to make her understand what he was talking about.
She studied him for a while, and then decided she wasn’t risking anything.
-Follow me.
Julia knew the owner of that bar very well, so she was easily granted access to one of the private rooms.
No sooner had she closed the door behind her than he drew her to him and tightly put his arms around him. During a quarter of second, she thought about pushing him away, but then she gave in. She felt so good in his arms that she had the feeling she had finally found home.
If, a few moments earlier, she had had the strange feeling that another part of her had been awaked within his touch, she now realised that in his arms, he was indeed a different person... She was a woman capable of feelings emotions, a woman whose heat was beating so fast that it scared her. But the strangest thing was that she could have sworn that she could hear Michael’s heart beat in unison with hers.
Vaughn closed his eyes, savouring this magical moment. In her arms, it was the only place he wanted to be. Without her, he was nothing. He was just a man, without a soul, without any reason for living, refusing to let his heart beat, too scared of feeling it beat for her. It all came back to her.
He pulled back slowly, framing her face with his hands. He was so blinded by his love for her and the happiness he felt that he didn’t see the expression that had appeared on her face.
Julia, for her part, had the feeling she had just done a vertiginous fall when he broke their embrace. She had the impression to become Julia again. But she wasn’t even sure anymore. Who was she? Or rather, who did she want to be?
She opened her mouth, intending on telling him that he was mistaken, that she wasn’t who he thought, and would never be, but he put a finger on her lips, preventing her from going any further, and was the one to speak.
-I love you Syd. I love you so much.
He had finally said it. These words that had destroyed him after her death. These words, that he should have whispered to her in the hollow of her ear such a long time ago.
-I knew we would find each other. We always find each other, he told her.
No one had ever told her such things. Love? She thought she would never experience this feeling before that night. Find someone? Some people had sworn they would find her again. In hell.
She was speechless. All good intention to tell this man she wasn’t this Sydney had just vanished away. She wanted to be that woman. Because she owned this man’s heart.
“Wow, where exactly are you heading to?” A little voice in her head brought her back to reason. What was going on in her mind?
-I am not...
She stopped, her voice chopped by the emotion she was feeling.
-I’m not Sydney, she started again. I’m sorry.
“I must be dreaming” he thought. “It’s just a bad dream”
“I’m not Sydney”. The words echoed in her head like a death sentence. Then, another thought made its way into his mind. How was it possible?
He no longer knew what to say. If this woman before him wasn’t Sydney Bristow, then who was she? A twin? Non. He immediately put this idea aside. He would have known. A double?
He suddenly had a strong desire to throw up. After all that he had to go through, fate had to come and scoff at him. And the Covenant obviously hadn’t had enough of killing of the love of his live, but they had also found a way to make a double? He needed some air. Right now.
-I’m sorry, he said. It won’t happen again. I’ll meet you in Paris in three days.
Without another word, he abruptly left the room and almost ran to the bar’s exit. If the woman he had just seen was truly Sydney’s double, they he wanted to make sure that he would see her exhale her last breath. He would succeed in bringing down the Covenant, and then it would be her turn.
When he got out of the room and that the door closed itself behind him, Julia let out a breath she had been holding for too long. She leaned her back against the wall and let herself sank to the floor. Then, she closed her eyes, letting a single tear roll down her cheek.
Now that she had felt such emotions, would she ever be able to live without them?

---------------------------------------

Vaughn slammed his car’s door and leaned on the hood. He asked himself if had been a good idea to come here. The night before, when he had came in his new apartment, he had wondered if all of this hadn’t just been a dream. But he could still feel his skin burn to the touch of – of... Julia. Or Sydney. Or whoever this woman was. And this feeling had brought him back to reality. It hadn’t been a dream. He could still feel the pain that had invaded his body when she had pushed him away. But she wasn’t Sydney, wasn’t she? Sydney would have taken him into her arms, would have kissed him, would have comforted him...
He hadn’t been able to sleep last night. He hadn’t stopped thinking, searching a logical reason that could have explained what had happened. But that was the problem: there was no logical explanation. Was thinking that this woman could be a double of Sydney logical? Or even, come to think that, maybe, it was actually Sydney, but that she had been brainwashed? Was it logical? Was it rational? Did it make any sense?
His contact’s car arrived, dragging him out of this thoughts. Now that he was here, Vaughn was confident he had made the right choice.
-It’s nice to see you, Jack, he said as he walked towards him.

---------------------------------------
Julia arrived in apartment in Rome, hoping to find Simon there. She hadn’t been able to sleep the previous night. She had asked herself so many questions, wondering if it had all been real. She had had the feeling of getting out of her own skin, and it scared her unimaginably Until now, she had never been scared. She hadn’t really felt anything, except for the adrenalin of the danger, the attraction to impossible situations of which she always came out fine...
She had tried to find an explanation to her disorder, to the power Michael had on her. The only answer she had found was that someone must have put something in her drink. Drugs, anything that could have altered her behaviour this way. She had felt a little like a junkie, like she was drunk, unable to have a coherent thought near this man.
And now, she needed Simon because she needed to feel like Julia. Needed to go back to being herself.
She bent down in order to put down her bag, and heard footsteps head towards her.
Simon got closer to her and put his arm around her waist. She closed her eyes, but there was nothing she could do about it: the feeling wasn’t there. She almost felt nothing. And truth be told, she was happy about it, because it was exactly what she looking for. He checked her out, studying each and every curve of her body.
-I hope the new one didn’t see you in this outfit, sweetheart, he said in a suave voice.
Julia smiled at him, while thinking that the outfit she was wearing last night was much more sexier than this pink bustier and those black pants.
-Of course not honey, she replied. I would never do that to you.
She loved playing this game with him. And what she loved above all was the fact that it was just a game. Nothing more.
He leaned towards her and kissed her, and she kissed him back fervently. Not that she was burning with desire, but she needed it.
-Sweetheart, he whispered between two kisses, you missed me that much?
Julia threw against the wall, and kissed him with even more intensity.
-Simon – just stop talking, she ordered him.
She just wanted to be with him, nothing more, nothing less. No feeling. No shiver. Only two bodies hardly touching, never melting in one another.
When they parted, in this bed so cold and so empty, Julia felt that she was totally becoming herself again. It was exactly what she wanted.
Was it?

TBC...
Please let me know what you think!
 
This is fantastic. I love it!! I really hope that she remembers that she is Sydney, or I hope that Sydney surfaces very soon. Love what you are doing with the story. Can't wait for more. Thanks for the pm, and please write more soon. It's great!!

Love ya,

Penny :angelic:
 
Great update. I love how you threw Vartan in there. Spy Daddy!!! I love the posters, they're amasing! They definitely go with the story. Thanxs for the pm. Keep up the good work and update soon!!

~Carter~
 
Back
Top