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A New Life

Discussion in 'Creative Writing & Arts' started by Alias_Freak, May 29, 2003.

  1. Alias_Freak

    Alias_Freak Rocket Ranger

    May 28, 2003
    "Mommy!" "Daddy!" "Wake up!" "Come on!" Wake up!" cried Devon, a young 6 year old girl. Devon looked exactly like Sydney. She has her hair, looks but has Michaels beautiful green eyes. She was shaking the life out of Sydney and Michael. "One sec honey!" Give us a second and we'll be right there." said Sydney, half asleep. Michael looked at the clock. It was 5:30 in the morning! "Jeeze!" "You'd think the kid would like to sleep in for a little while." said Michael. Sydney and Micheal got up and went into the kitchen for some coffee.

    It was 7 years later. Sloane was killed, Sydney finally fufilled the prophacy and beat Sloane. Irina was around, she lives in L.A now (nobody knows where) and visits Sydney all the time. Will is still a reporter for the C.I.A and unfourtunatly, Francie was killed. Yep, that
  2. kate_jones

    kate_jones Rocket Ranger

    Apr 10, 2003
    This is a good start. It's well written, but one thing I would change is the dialogue. Just start a new line when someone starts talking.
    "Mom?" said syd.
    "Sydney?" said Irina.
    "Hello" said Vaughn.

    Other than that, it's great. Good job and I want more!
  3. AliasFan4eva

    AliasFan4eva Rocket Ranger

    Dec 18, 2002
    gREAT SO FAR! I can't wait for more! Could you please PM me when more is up! It would be such a major help! Thanks a million! Great job! INteresting start! Hurry and write more! I can't wait! love ya! ~C
  4. goofygal

    goofygal Rocket Ranger

    Dec 17, 2002
    new york city (that's were i was born)
    ditto. i can't wait for more. this is great! love ya babe~amber~
  5. ariesgirly2lovesMV

    ariesgirly2lovesMV Rocket Ranger

    May 5, 2003
    HI great fic so far keep up the great work....

    cant wait for more

    if it is not to much trouble could you pm when you post more

    shaina (y)
  6. sarahh729

    sarahh729 Rocket Ranger

    Apr 3, 2003
    Maryland, USA
    really cute :) i like devon for the girls name, unique
  7. xdancer

    xdancer Rocket Ranger

    May 2, 2003
    North Carolina
    It looks cute. Keep going.
  8. liliana

    liliana Rocket Ranger

    Jan 8, 2003
    South Africa
    cool start can't wait for more

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